STATUS - Why Bother?

Some one recently asked me what's my relationship status? I don't put them up on social networking sites. Reason being I don't find the category I belong too. It has single, committed, in a relationship, married, open relationship (whatever that means), open marriage (yikes!, I'm not even going to try to figure this one out) and thanks to Himesh Reshamiya's 'Radio' it has something called as It's complicated too. Thankfully I'm not a part of any of these. I'd belong to something called as 'Single in love'. Hahaha sounds funny, but that's what's my status. Atleast currently.

Its been exactly 17 months for today since I've been single. Err... The above category I mentioned actually. 17 months. That's quite long yeah. But I don't pity myself at all. Nor do I think anyone should worry about me. The last thing I want to be pitied about is the fact that I'm single. I survived 17 months being there dint I? Its not a joke, to find someone and settle down. Not a game or not an easy accomplishment. Does love even come into picture? Or you just keep bothering about what the others are thinking? I'm sorry but I'm not bothered about these things. I'd rather stay single all my life than end up with a wrong guy or with someone I don't love. I have great friends yes, they have supported me in every aspect of my life. I can proudly say that I have more than enough people in my life whom I can count on, at any given point of time on any day. Yet, a few people think that I have no one to go to when I'm upset? WTF. Is a boyfriend/girlfriend everything? That without him/her you have no one to turn too. If people think like that its a pity. They need to get a life.

I'm in whatever category I am because I choose to be here. I'm in love with someone. He's with me or not doesn't make a difference. My feeling stays. I have great friends. Girls, who can cheer me up anytime any day. Gossip, shopping, chick flicks I have all of these. I have guy friends who show me the other side of life. But they all know where I stand. They bring out the tom boy in me and we have loads of fun. I know that a guy and a girl can never be just friends. Maybe you can be friends. But can never be the closest and thickest of friends. Some where or the other the feelings change and expectations creep up. But when you are clear about where you are, and know where to draw the line I don't see why not. Almost all of my guy friends have acted cranky at some point or the other. But they know that I have someone etched in my mind. Some understand that and are content being 'Just friends'. Some cant take it and walk away. It hurts to lose a friend, but what I feel matters the most to me. The only thing about which I am extremely selfish. If they were good friends they would understand me. Else, they are free to do what ever they want.

Flaunting a partner is so not what I would do. Its an entirely different feeling to be in a relationship. The love, the time spent together, the feeling of belonging to someone, the responsibilities and everything is amazing. I'd be lying if I say I don't miss any of this. Like hell I do. But this is not namesake for me. I'm not in a place to think of all these now. They day I fall out of love, I'd be truly single. Then I'll think about what has to be done further. Till then I think people should just mind their own businesses and let me be. One of my friend says that I may not have these options later. Huh? Who cares. I don't want these options now, and I don't see why I would want them later. I'm tired of being asked about my status or being pitied for where I am right now. Where ever I am, I am happy. Its my choice. Doesn't that count at all?

Karthik Calling Karthik


The music was stupendous. The first ever album in which I loved all the songs. They made me groove, made me hum and made me nostalgic. Music ten on ten. Farhan looked amazing in the promos, Deepika looked sexy and the story line seemed interesting. Enough reasons to go watch the movie I guess. Well I just did. And the outcome just blew me away. Unfortunately not in a very nice way. I start my weekend with this? Really? God, I thought things were improving.

Well, lets start at the very beginning. A team event was planned, and we all decided to go to this particular movie called 'Karthik calling Karthik'. The whole day I sat at my work station, grooving to its songs. The excitement to watch the movie was just growing. Finally me and my crazy friends made it there. Three fourth of the movie is excellent. Yes, excellent. But the revelation in the climax just crashes the entire thing down. Its the perfect example of taking someone to the top, just to push them down. I had so many expectations from this movie, much more than 'Khan' actually. But well, I guess some expectations are never fulfilled.

Karthik #1 - A total loser who is satisfied being treated like dirt. He does all the paper work in his office, brings in all the profits but easily allows others to take the credit. He's in love with Shonali (Ms. Padukone, looking amazingly sexy and chic), has written exactly 1317 e-mails to her expressing his love which he dutifully doesn't send. I wonder when Yahoo came up with an option called 'Do not Send' on their compose mail page. She doesn't even know he exists and is content dating his colleague who sits in a dingy cubicle, while she is seated in an classily decorated cabin. Karthik also has an annoying landlord who for some strange reason follows him every morning to the parking lot with the intention of squeezing some extra cash from him. One word for this one - Loser.

Karthik #2 - Sexy, stylish, chic and oozes panache. Dressed in crisp formals (No one else in Bollywood can carry that off so well), he's got the perfect attitude to control his boss, and the right charisma to woo the woman he loves. The woman in question, Shonali tries to resist his charm at first, due to her past experiences with men. She tells him "All men are dogs". He replies, "Acha, agar saare mard kutte hote hai toh, kya main ek kutte ki tarah aapka peecha kar sakta hu?". Speaking about self respect man! Well, he finally wins her and all is well until he spills out his secret. Three words for this one - Sexy but Dumb.

The secret being that our Loser gets calls from someone, teaching him how to become the sexy Karthik. Since the loser doesn't have anyone else in his life he agrees to everything the voice says. Over night Karthik #1 turns into Karthik #2. Suddenly he's promoted when he was fired just 3 days ago. Surprisingly noone asks him anything. The woman who never knew he existed falls in love with him. Just because he's so damn charming and good looking now that you cant ignore him. Well, so much for true love eh. Sigh! Am I the only fool here? His voice guides him through every phase of his life. He promises to continue to do so as long as he doesn't tell anyone about it. Well, but our Mr. Boyfriend is Oh so in love with his Girlfriend that he cant keep any secrets from her. He tells her and then hell breaks loose. Like everybody else, she thinks he's insane and that he needs therapy. The voice knows that he let out the secret and then comes back to destroy him. What the voice is, why its calling him forms the last quarter of the movie. And that's the part I hated the most.

Its kinda surprising that a person has lived for probably 25-26 years with Schizophrenia without anyone or him realising it. He promptly wakes up at 2 am everyday, records his voice on the phone and sets the reminder to 5 am. When the phone rings at 5 am, he acts totally paranoid but answers every time it rings. Thus the ugly duckling turns into a beautiful swan. This pattern continues until his girlfriend forbids him from receiving those calls. He does a lot to stay away from phones and to get away from the noise. For some strange reason he ends up in Cochin. I wonder why the director dint come up with other better place. Finally he realises after a suicide attempt that he's been suffering from Multiple Mental disorder. I wonder if there is actually something like that. MPD I'm sure of. Finally he's treated and he and his girlfriend live happily ever after. I still dint understand the importance of the Rubik's Cube throughout the movie.

Performance wise, Farhan rocks. He's amazing as both the Karthiks and pulls of the characters with amazing charm. He looks super sexy in his formals. His smile is his best feature and he uses it to the maximum. Deepika's clothes are to die for in the movie. She looks gorgeous and extremely sexy. Sadly, she doesn't have much to do in the movie as Farhan makes his presence felt in every frame. The actors do complete justice to their roles, but when the story line is faulty nothing much can be done. If the schizo part was missed and something creative had been incorporated, the movie would have been a runaway success. Well, this one was a sure disappointment. Not calling this one for sure.

Wah! Wah! Javed Saab!

This is the reason why Javed Akhtar is the best lyricist of the nation. Kailash Kher and the new bee Sukanya Purayastha do 100% justice to the words.

Kaisi hai ye udhaasi chayee, mere dil,
Kaisi geheri hai ye tanhayee, mere dil,
Raahon mein, yaadon ki, khamoshi barse,
Ankhon mein, jo gum hai, aasu ko tarse,
Ye bataa ye kyun hua;
Buj gaya, kyun har diya,

Hooo jo bhi mila, woh kho gaya,
Tujhko pata hai, aisa hi sadaa hota hai,
Jaana hi tha woh jo gaya, dil tu akela,
Aise kyun bhala rota hai,
Bhoole jo hain tujhko ab unko bhool ja tu bhi,
Warna mere saath yaadon ke zakhm kha tu bhi,
Maan jaaaaa, aye dil mere;
Bhool jaaaaa, shikve giley,

Hooo tu hi bata aye dil mere,
Maine to hamesha tera hi kaha mana hai,
Kyun hai mujhe ye gum ghire,
Mujhe umar bhar kya bas yahi sazaa paana hai,
Sapne bue maine aur dard maine hai kaate,
Gaaye geet maine aur paaye maine sanate,
Aarzoo nakaam hai,
Suni si har shaam hai,
Kaisi hai ye udhaasi chahyee, mere dil
Kaisi geheri hai ye tanhayee.

Sarcasm Personified!!


There is this group on Facebook called "Sarcasm Society". It cracks me up every morning. I'm very particular when it comes to humour. Sarcastic humour is something that's always funny, no matter what. Again, its only humour as long as the other one is not getting hurt. Else, its just plain simple cruelty. This should be the number one rule in having a sense of humour. Sarcasm Society has one of the best sense of humour. Below are some of the excerpts from the wonderful Sarcasm Society.

  • Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
  • Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid.
  • I am always impressed by how little you know.
  • Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.
  • He's immune to having his mind blown.
  • I didn't forget; I am just going to remember later.
  • Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
  • Your parents should have kept the bathwater.
  • It's OK. I am sure you had a good reason for being a douche bag.
  • This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
  • Don't feel bad; most people are like you.
  • Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
  • I have a bad headache - As opposed to all the good ones you usually have?
  • Oh no, I wasn't being sarcastic. I really do think you are brilliant.
  • Oh, you are an ‘artist’. I thought you were just deranged. ROFL.
  • In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.
  • Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation; look, please try to understand before one of us dies.
  • Keep your friends close. You can blame things on them.
  • Sarcasm: A literary device for identifying the stupid.
  • Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
  • What better way to spend a relaxing evening at home than to think about the death penalty?
  • I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
  • Your opinion means as much to me as my facts mean to you.
  • Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
  • If he's so smart, how come he's dead?
  • Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. ROFL again.
  • I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
  • Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
  • Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
  • A little culture never killed anyone, unless your bacterial wound culture test determines that the infection that you have might kill you.
  • I hate watching you go. You block everything in view.
  • Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
  • Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
  • There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
  • If all else fails, get a dog. It'll always love you.
  • Some people approach every problem with an open mouth.
  • It's a privilege watching your brain cell at work.

Desperate


One line that struck me the most in 'Breaking Dawn';

"That’s the funny thing about knowing you can’t have something. It makes you desperate."

Its Bright, and Right


Staring out of the window at 6:am, these thoughts just flooded my mind. I don't know if I have a natural flair for poetry, but surprisingly all seemed to rhyme :-)

The sun seems to be shining brighter,
The day is warm and tickled with spice;
There is this constant smile on my face,
And everything suddenly seems so nice.

There is this unexpected joy,
Something beyond any feeling around;
Life seems to be glowing and shining,
Like something new has been crowned.

Everything is now feeling fresh,
The dew on the flowers and the scent;
The cheerful humming of the birds,
Always wondered what they meant.

Feel like I'm surrounded by sparkle,
There is a gleam in the eye;
Everything around feels so good,
I just hope it doesn't end in a lie.

Music and melody seeming to mix,
Every wrong ready to get fixed;
Light is trickling through the gap,
Filling every dark area in the map.

It almost seems like a fantasy,
The happiness that you feel inside;
Heart beating to the perfect rhythm,
Like everything you want is beside.

Life is what, you make it to be,
Think good, and good it shall be;
Control the mind, to see it right,
There will be no tears and no fright.

Some thoughts, hold on forever,
Rewinding and blending with the present;
Nothings seems to be missing now,
Even the mouth's now shaped like a crescent.

Never compromise with the pain,
Let it flow and soon it'll go;
If its meant to be, it will be,
It will fit, like an arrow in a bow.

Why try to quit, why give up,
Just give in to what you feel;
Stand by your thoughts and the feelings,
Soon it will turn to real from reel.

There is a light in a sky,
Bright enough to blind my eye;
Where it was dark, now there's light,
Seeming to reflect, the dark night.

Life After Reading


'Oliver Twist' was the first "novel" I ever read. That was when I was in class three. That would make me what, like eight years old probably. Of course before that I had my share of Tinkle, Champak and Amar Chitra Katha. It really surprises me as to how reading evolves with time. During primary school we used to get books like, Panchantantra, Snow white and all the other fantasy princesses, Goldilocks, Ugly Duckling and all that. But after class five, I guess they felt that we've grown up and then began the series of 'Famous Five' and the 'Secret Seven'. Hardy Boys followed next, Sherlock Holmes, Nancy Drew, Agatha Christie and ofcourse more books by Enid Blyton. At that age, these were the so called "Mystery" novels. How naive were we?

I was well read when I entered high school. Since I was in a convent, all we were expected to read were prayer books and the story of the great 'Ann Mary Javouhey', the foundress of 'Sisters of St. Josephs of Cluny'. My classmates used to sneak in 'The Secret Seven' and those kinda books, while I was half way down the Sheldon brigade of books. I enrolled into a library near my place when I was 10 and then there was no looking back. They had the best of books and I made the most advantage out of it. My parents never liked the idea of me reading books other than the academic ones. But since I was a good student they put up with it. The library became my second home as my pocket money couldn't afford more books at that time. The first book I ever bought was Sheldon's 'Memories of Midnight' as it was the much anticipated sequel to his 'The other side of Midnight'. The book was not available in the library and so after much hunting I found it in a store in Malleshwaram for 50 bucks. That was expensive then.

I have crazy memories with 'Memories of Midnight'. I was in class 8 when I bought it and I remember my class teacher finding that book on my desk and reprimanding me for it. Reason, well the title of the book dint sound like a mystery novel to her :P. I was way too young, and worse I was a girl to be reading erotica, she said. She had almost summoned my parents until the librarian was called. Thankfully she had read it and explained to my teacher that it was indeed a harmless mystery novel. It was only after a couple of days, that the librarian summoned me and told me that I was way to young to read Sidney Sheldon. I told her that I had read 12 of his 15 books by then and I do understand the content it carries. She was way too adamant and screamed, "Relationships, Marriages, Sex and Mistresses, Love, Lust and murder is not what a 13 year old reads". I started to retaliate, but when she threatened to summon my parents I gave up. My parents would not mind me reading I was sure, but they would not spare a single change for me to get rid of my books. So I remained calm. I could read them at home anyway.

Not to mention, my access to books was limited for the next two years of high school. My classmates were content reading fantasy books where a handsome prince comes and rescues a damsel in distress, or someone who has been sleeping for ever. I was like, 'Eh, what did you guys read in primary school?'. 'We dint read then', was always the prompt reply. The library period became torture, as we were not allowed to carry our own books. There was only one rack in the library that contained "Mature" books. Mature according to my librarian. Those books were strictly for the students of class 10 and the teachers. I'm pretty sure my 6 year old niece could read them now. After much cajoling, my librarian agreed me to borrow books from the grown up shelf (that's how I used to call it). That's how I read, Little Women, Jane Eyre, Emma, Ulysses, Pride and Prejudice and Helen of Troy 'n' number of times. 'Little Women' is a must read for all teen girls and I'm proud to have it as a part of my personal collection. Its been circulating around my office mates for quite some time now. Well, yeah, they had not read it too. I waited to reach class ten, to have access to the awesome 'Shakespeare' collection my school library had. Well, I need to hand that to them. They did an amazing collection of classics. The original Shakespeare books were those big hard bound ones with the fading yellow pages. They smelt amazing and sadly almost noone had used them. The first ever romantic novel I read was the epitome of romance 'Romeo and Juliet'. Mills & Boon all came later. Well, that explains the reason of me being a romantic psycho. Macbeth and Othello followed. I was half into Hamlet when we were asked to return all books as the boards were approaching. Boy, that was a disappointment. Worse thing is you don't find the original books nowadays. They were written as plays and the recent one take the form of a story. To be honest, it kills the originality :-(.

That was a break to my reading life. During 11th and 12th I religiously worshipped my Physics, Chem, Maths and Bio books. Eeeew, I cringe to even think of that. I dint lose focus from my academics and finally was done with it. I needed to end my break and I did, like how! The gap between 12th and engineering was about 6-7 months. I had already secured a free seat in a prestigious college and was settled. My parents were overjoyed and they let me buy all the books I want. Which they regretted later as they had to buy me a bookshelf the next month. Finally my break came to an end as I devoured book after book. That was a nice time. Books were a getaway from my regular life. They used to take me to a magical land and made me forget myself. Agreed, not all books were like that. Some books taught me the intricacies of life. 'God Father' taught me that family always comes first, 'Nineteen Minutes' taught me that every single person is special and to treat everyone equally. 'Twilight' taught me the way to love and Danielle Steel's books(all of it), showed me life beyond love. 'The Ranch', showed me how friends should be, 'Kane and Abel' increased my knowledge on banking while 'Not a penny more, not a penny less' did the same on the share market. Books teach you a lot. Some people say that I can talk or write really well. I'd contribute that to my reading. Reading, fixes most of the defects if you have to say it in techie terms. The 'Chicken Soup' series can uplift any person mood, no matter what situation they are in. According to me, books have a life of their own. They breathe and talk. Letters form words, words form sentences, sentences form paragraphs and they in turn form books. I cant imagine a life without them.

Drama and poetry is supremely underrated. I would love poetry till death. A single sonnet can describe an entire book. People usually find poetry boring. They fail to understand the true meaning. Poetry, like quotes leave a strong impression. Poetry writing is a talent. I'm not saying that because I write them. I still have a long way to go to perfect the art. Condensing feelings and lines into four to five words per sentence is an art in itself! You need to cut off at the right time, get the words to rhyme and keep it simple. It is better when you write poetry in paragraphs. If its a single dump, it takes a lot of talent and hardwork to get it right. 'Murderer', is the only post that has given me satisfaction so far. That post has my blood and soul in it and I have won a lot of accolades for it. Hmmm will come up with something else soon. Poetry is anything but boring. You need to have a clear heart and deep understanding to get it. You need to put one and one together to get the actually meaning of a poem. Fiction, poetry and quotes, are my three fixations.

Reading is a lost art. TV, Internet and Games may have replaced it. But nothing like a good book to carry to your bed and read before you sleep. Imagine taking the Computer, or the TV to bed :P. Again its not something, you force upon people. At my place, noone reads novels. I'm the only one who religiously spends a part of my monthly income on books. I may have a dozen which I haven't yet read, but still I end up buying more. They say never judge a book by its cover, but sometimes I just pick up the book because it looks good. Honestly very few have turned out to be good. Reading is a part of my daily chores. Else something feels incomplete. But given a choice between reading and writing, anyday I'd choose reading. About 80% of what I am today is because of the books I've read. No, not the academic ones. The Others.

When I miss you


When I miss you,
Like it is most of the while;
I look at your pictures,
And I cant help but smile.
When I miss you,
I revisit the places we've been;
I can still feel you everywhere,
At every place we've seen.

When I miss you,
I listen to your favourite music;
The way that you sang them,
Was better than the actual pick.
When I miss you,
I re-read our conversations;
Cards, messages and the sweet nothings,
Oh Thank God, for these creations.

When I miss you,
I lie back with my eyes closed;
Thinking of our happy days,
And how together we froze.
When I miss you,
I stare out at the moon;
Knowing that you are under it too,
The only thing that seems like a boon.

When I miss you,
I shed out a tear;
My heart feels heavy,
And I wish that you were near.
When I miss you,
Sometimes I laugh and taunt;
Cos I know you're happy and safe,
Nothing more than that I want.

Romance in words



Reality Check


I was never a fan of reality shows. Although I watch some, to pass my time. Not my fault, every single channel is filled with them anyway. Mtv though has totally gone to the dogs. Gone are those days when only music played 24x7 on Mtv. Sigh! I'm pretty sure that there is not a single channel without a reality show. Why don't they come up with a single channel and air all the reality shows on it instead?

Some of these shows are ridiculous. You cant believe such things actually happen in real life. 'Raaz Pichle Janam Ka', is the most horrendous show I have ever seen all my life. On the show, people lie down on a rather uncomfortable looking couch and are brainwashed by a psychic and they can magically view their past. The re-construction of the past is unbearable. I don't know what the purpose of the show is. Do they make money, do they stay in the past, I have no idea. I sat through it for 10 minutes and my sister promised to disown me if I dint change the channel :P .

'Is Jungle se Mujhe Bachao', the desi rip of the 'I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here' initially started out interesting. I was actually glued on to it for 2 episodes, until Kasmera Shah decided to take a shower on National Television. That too under a waterfall. That was all I could take. Heights of getting audiences to view their shows. And people actually participate in them? Only small town celebrities (read Swetha Tiwari, desperately trying to come out of her 'Prerna' avatar by slipping into minis and bikini tops. Chetan Hansraj the dashing dude, honestly I find him really good looking. One of the primary reasons why I survived 2 episodes. His 4 year long serials came to an end (finally!) and then mister decided to appear on this show to make his presence felt. He was the runner up of the show I guess. Anaida desperately trying to regain lost popularity after her singing career sank without a trace. Palak, the ex-roadie. Like she dint show her dramatic skills enough on one reality show, that they got her into another.) Phew, producers do have some sense of imagination.

'Splitsvilla 3' on my beloved Mtv is more *beep* than talk. If you want your child to grow up soon, make him/her sit through one episode of this show. Although I strictly advice not too. 'Roadies 7', is no fun without the evil twins. So I have never seen a complete episode of it and hence wont comment on it. Heard they have Irrfan Khan on it as some sin guru or something like that. Poor guy, I can imagine the money they paid him to appear on such a show. Especially after movies like 'Metro' and 'Maqbool'. The 'Stunt Mania' show was pretty good. It was really good to see young woman bikers on it. That show was different and was worth a watch.

Then came the matchmaking shows. 'Perfect Bride' where a mother finds a perfect bride (if something like that exists that is) for her son. And till today I have not figured out why would anyone want to marry Rakhi Sawant or Rahul Mahajan and get pitied on National TV. I recently came across one show where children are fighting each other to win the prize which is to take their parents on some religious 'Mahayatra'. Sigh!

Just when I thought I had seen it all, my best friend decides to tell me about this show called 'Emotional Athyachaar' on Bindaas. She literally tortured me into watching it. One thing I'll never forgive her for :P. Just the thought of the show gives me creeps. No its not a show where you're surrounded by creepy looking things, or the one where you are strapped to a lie detector and have weird questions thrown at you. This one is worse. Its a show where a guy/girl comes to the channel if they think that their partner/spouse is cheating on them. The channel then promptly send in a tempter or a temptress to seduce the person under question. The show even records the intimate moments between the two. You think that's worse? Wait. The person who came seeking help then has to sit and watch the recorded footage, with a rather cold looking host(read Angad Bedi, his cricket or modelling career dint soar high. So he too fell for the reality brigade). Then they confront the cheater and then there is a horrible break up on National television. I need to meet the creative head of this show.

I have a number of serious problems with this show which is a miserable rip of 'Cheaters'. One, sending a tempter or a temptress to seduce the victim is horrible. More often than not, normal people fall for it. If some hot girl is throwing herself at a guy, then I don't blame the guy for thinking he has a chance. Two, letting a person watch videos of his/her partner making out with someone in an enclosed room is torturing. That too on National TV. Just think of the embarrassment the person will go through when public spots them. I shudder to even think of it. One thing I have to hand it out to the show. The name is apt. Its Emotional Athyachaar indeed. Three, okay lets forget the fact that the videos are shown to the partners. After that cant they just end the show. Leave it to the couple to deal it out. But no, how else will the TRP's raise. The confrontation, the break up, the accusations, the howling, screaming and the tears is all out there for audiences to see. This is what is exactly called as making money out of peoples' misery. Torture indeed. Such shows put ideas into people's head. One episode, and I was done with athyachaar for a life time. But I do know a lot of people who watch it regularly. Either they have a heart of stone or are people devoid of feelings. Or maybe something is wrong with me. My friends always tease me by saying that God forgot to give me brains and tried to compensate by giving me two portions of the heart instead. I don't know to be happy or sad on this one.

Some tolerable shows are Yash Raj's 'Lift Kara de', where the biggest fan of a celebrity is picked through some contest and then the fan along with the star 'lift' some person's life who are usually disabled or under provisioned. 'Sach ka Saamna' was thought provoking, but it had to leave after having its own share of controversies. 'Bingo' with Abhishek Bachchan as the host is fun to watch even thought the game is super silly. Maybe, it has to do with the celebs who appear as contestants. One show I miss is 'Oye its Friday' with Farhan Akthar. He's the ultimate host. That was a thorough entertainment talk show, if not a reality show. Channels need to come up with more of such shows. The reality shows on Discovery Travel and living and a few in AXN are top class. Shows like 'Top Design', 'Sheer Genius', 'Top Chef', 'Project Runway', 'Hell's Kitchen' etc set up a mark. I guess that's the difference between India and the west :-(.

Nowadays I get freaked out to put on the TV. Honestly, the saas bahu crap doesn't seem all that bad now.

Sad Eyes Never LIE


Would you swear,
That you'll always be mine?
Would you care,
To see if I'm fine?

Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
Where ever I go,
Its all you I find.

Maybe you were right,
Maybe you have all the glory,
I just don't want to fight;
I'm tired of being sorry.

I've trashed myself,
I've lost my way;
I've got to get to you,
That's all I can say.

I'm standing in the street,
Crying out for you all strewn;
No one sees me there,
But the silver moon.

I know I've crossed and quarreled,
For a thousand reasons I know,
I need to leave the demons I possess;
But I can never watch you go.

I remember how you feel,
The way you used to be;
I'm chocking on my words,
But can you hear me?

You know I've got this feeling,
That I just cant hide,
I wish I was all you need,
And you'll soon find me beside.

I've been through the moment,
When my heart was broken;
You are inside and around me,
Yet you left me all shaken.

Could I hold you for a lifetime?
Could I look into your eyes?
Could I have you close beside me?
Oh this would feel so nice.

I have always loved you,
There's never been anyone else;
How could that be possible,
I knew you, before I knew myself.

As years pass by, and so the days,
And though we go separate ways;
I never stopped dreaming of you,
Maybe one day they may just come true.

If you feel like leaving,
I'm not the one to make you stay;
But I know pretty soon,
You'll be walking this way.

You say you're happy,
And you agree that's a fact;
Go ahead honey,
I surely don't mind the act.

Our eyes that once met,
Will go on till we die;
No matter how much we try,
But sad eyes never lie.

Twenty Something


An email forward.. It had to be here..

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at wat ur studyin or ur job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better.Or maybe you love someone but they don't love you and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

Its called "Quarter-life Crisis." nothing is constant......except change. wats life without a few risks? Keep playin the game!

Twilight Fever


I'm the latest one to have been bitten by the 'Twilight' bug. Honestly, I hate fantasy novels. That's why I haven't read 'The lord of the rings' series and the 'Harry Potter' series which my friends hate me for. They can endlessly discuss Potter and his antics while all I can do is sulk and roll my eyes. Magic, spells and flying brooms is definitely too hard to digest for a practical fool like me. Even though I have those books as a part of my collection, I'd never read it.

The feeling was the same when the 'Twilight' fever started. Vampire's and werewolves? I had never given a second thought to them. Probably the last reel life person I had a crush on was John after 'Jism'. After that I got into a relationship and there were no need for crushes anymore. Even reel life crushes dint happen. The effect seems to continue. My friends kept drooling over this guy, Robert Pattinson and I thought he looked like a girl at first. Then I thought he looked super pansy. But after I read the book and then saw the movie, I was like Woooo... He's great yes!

After much nagging from loads of friends, I decided to start reading 'Twilight'. More because I wanted something mushy after some supremely disturbing novels I'd read. Like, Nineteen Minutes and Thief of Souls. I thought its gonna be like the Mills & Boon crap I read in school. Once upon a time..... and they lived happily ever after kinds. I'm not the one to believe in such crap anymore. I started half heartedly but after the first 2 chapters I was into it. I finished the first book in 4 days, the second in half the time and am on the third one currently. Bella, is someone whom I can easily identify myself with. Clumsy and lost, and irrevocably in love with the wrong person. Is it just us or every girl is like that? Anyways, that's what psychology is for.

Love stories are usually boring. Minus, Twilight series and ofcourse, P.S I love you. Oh man, that book was amazing and the only movie that I feel has done justice to the book. The 'Twilight' movies, even though they don't do justice to the book they keep you hooked. The only problem I had was that I saw the first movie and then started the second book. By then the characters had a life of their own. My imagination was lost. Robert Pattinson, even though he looks gorgeous, I feel he would have looked much better if he was a girl. Pale, fair rather white skined with blood red lips and a sleek frame. Looks cute, but again not much of my type. Taylor Lautner aka Jacob on the other hand, woooo.. Hot!! The first movie I hated him as he looked huge and burly with that long hair. When he crops it up and gets the eight pack in the second movie, I honestly wished that werewolves did exist. He's beautiful as Bella herself says.

Another character that I love would be Alice. The sweet, future seeing Vampire. After Jacob she is the only one who does justice to her character in the movie. My imagination of her was perfect. Rosalie disappoints and Jasper couldn't look more gay. Emmet and Carlilse are perfect, even though Carlilse could do with lesser bleach. Esme and Charlie are just like how they are in the book. But Jacob gets my vote here. He oozes blood into the character and is perfect. I kinda like his square shape jaw. His only imperfection which makes him Oh so perfect. Yeah, I've always had different kinda choices when it comes to men. Its the whole package that matters and not just face value. I stick on to it. My friends drool over Robert Pattinson. I did too after Twilight. But after 'New Moon', it was Taylor Lautner all the way. Rule Jacob rule.

Feb 14th


So finally its here. 'Valentines' Day', the day of love. The second consecutive year where I'm single on the V-day. I know there needs to be no day to celebrate your love. When I was with my man, everday was Valentines' for me. The romance and passion lit up everyday and we dint wait for any particular day to celebrate the love we shared. Feb 15th would be much more memorable for us actually. Yeah,we did follow the norm and celebrated the day, for every year we have been together. It kinda got funny at times. I remember that on our second V-day together, we had gone to this coffee house, where every thing they served had the 'love' theme. We ordered this high funda coffee and chocolate drink, which looked and sound yummy on the menu. But when it finally got to us, it had 2 straws joined together in the middle with a heart. The sight of it had us laughing. The worst part was that it was really hard to get the drink out of the straw. I guess the idea was to have both the partners to pull out the drink together. Even though, we were head over heels in love, we were not the ones who believed in public displays of affection or PDA as it is called. We had to spoon out the entire drink to have it :D. That was one hell of a day for us.

Fast forward 3 years later. I'm at home and am celebrating the day with my laptop instead. I would be lying if I said, it dint hurt that I was alone today. It does. But not all people think the same and I respect his decision. I'm happy the way I am. Some thoughts and memories are enough to live a lifetime. Probably if I never had celebrated it before it wouldn't have mattered. But when I think about it, I realise that its entirely my choice. I choose to be single and so I am. For me being alone or with friends on that day, is more better than celebrating it with someone whom you don't love just for the heck of it. I am not the one to do such things just for cheap thrills. Love is a serious issue with me and it stays that way.

Having a partner is a really important. Having someone to share everything with. Having someone to stand by you always. To laugh, to cry and to celebrate love and life. Not just to feel better on a particular day in Feb. Honestly, for most people I know having a boyfriend/girlfriend is nothing but an accomplishment. A prized trophy that they want to proudly display to the world. They share love or not, they are happy with the arm candy. Compatibility and comfort are alienated concepts for them. Its gets annoying and honestly I pity such people. They will never know how wonderful love actually feels. The very thought of actually belonging to someone is an amazing feeling. Some people never get that.

So to all the love birds out there, 'Happy Valentines' Day' guys. May you all have many more such days together. And to all those singletons, cheer up people. Trust me, you're not losing anything.

No Smoking


This hilarious board I came across as a part of the Anti-Smoking campaign.

"If God intended smoke to come out of your nose as in a chimney, he would have turned it the other way round"

ROFL. :D

Thought


I always thought you loved me,
Never thought that would turn to hate;
I love you more than you think,
I see you only as my soul mate.

I always thought you'll never leave,
Leaving me all high and dry;
You were the sparkle of my smile,
So tell me now, why shouldn't I cry?

I always thought I had you forever,
That thing is far from being true;
As times changed, so did you,
While I remain all lost and blue.

I always thought you were happy with me,
I gave you everything on my side;
Do you honestly think I deserve this?
Comeon, atleast now confide.

I always thought you're all about love,
Never once I thought that you could hurt;
Your doings sometimes sting me hard,
And so does your words that are so curt.

I always thought we're gonna last forever,
Not once did this cross my mind;
You were amazing, I do admit,
The best that I could ever find.

I always thought, you owned me,
You still do in a very obvious way;
You're all over my body, mind and soul,
That's why I just cant get away.

KHAN-tastic


The name is Khan, Shahrukh Khan. Khan indeed. Ohh man, I just cant stop gushing about him. Finally I watched the must awaited movie on the first day itself. Getting the tickets was another huge task. But this time I was prepared, I had booked the tickets on Monday :-). That's why despite the bump on my head and not feeling my face, I still went to watch the movie. What happened to me, we'll come back to that later.

'My name is KHAN' belongs to one single person, Khan himself. Shahrukh at the age of 44 still gets me weak in the knees at times. But today all I wanted was to stand and applaud the man, who has been my top favourite since 16 years. He forms the heart and soul of the movie. Rizvan Khan, the muslim suffering from Asperger's Syndrome. Asperger's syndrome is a type of autism which reduces the social interaction abilities. Khan in the movie, cannot interact with people easily, cannot bear loud noise, has no emotions, doesn't empathise with people and hates the colour yellow. He's so naive and his expressions make you fall in love with him in every frame. He's an actor par excellence, and I adore him for that.

Just when your used to his coldness, finally Khan starts feeling the oldest and strongest emotion known to mankind. LOVE. Mandira played by Kajol could even get a solid rock to fall in love with her. She's splendid and together they both set the screen on fire. Sadly she doesn't have much to do in the film but she forms the sole reason for Khan's journey. A woman behind troubles again, the usual norm. The whole city of Troy was destroyed for a woman afterall. Kajol with gorgeous eyes and subtle clothes is a delight to watch. She and Shahrukh are made for each other. On screen atleast.

Shahrukh steals the show. He's awesome, excellent and still remains the Badshah of Bollywood. A must watch for everyone. I even forgot the pounding in my head during those amazing 2 hours and 40 minutes. Okay, so this is what happened. I slipped at home yesterday and my head directly banged the sharp corner of a wall. The force was ample and the thud noise had my mom come running from 10 foot across. Surprisingly I felt nothing at that time. Mom just massaged me and I left to work. I was fine for an hour or two and then came the pain and the swelling. The doc suggested me to be more careful and not to stress the right side of my body. Yeah, thanks to that incident I have lost sensation on the right side of my face.

A great movie and a best friend around. Things got more better when I picked up a Roasted Chicken sub. The only problem was that I couldn't open my mouth properly to eat it. Every single bite hurt :-(. Till today I dint know that the mouth is connected to the head in such a critical way. Why God why? Why do I always have to learn things the hard way :P. Anyways I should get back my sensations in about 4-5 days, else we are in some serious trouble.

'My name is Khan' is an amazing movie and a must watch for everyone. Karan Johar surely did make up for the dud 'Kabhi Alvida na Kehna'. Sheeesh, how I hated that crappy movie. After Dev-D the only movie to have got a 5 star rating by TOI. Dev-D did live up to the expectations. This one does too. A lovely movie and its proves that people can go to any extent for love.

Him & Again


With blurred visions,
I reached for his hand;
But when it cleared I saw,
That all alone I stand.

He taught me to love,
More that what my heart could contain;
Then why doesn't he now,
Teach me to love again.

My heart struggles to beat,
I feel suffocated all around;
I want to call out and stop him,
But I'm frozen and cant make a sound.

When he left,
He took my best part away;
I forgot to bloom,
And he left me to decay.

He meant a little too much for me,
While I meant a little too less;
It was him I always thought of,
I'm crazy about him, I confess.

My biggest nightmare,
Was the thought of losing him;
But now when its reality,
Life is misery filled to the brim.

Love and happiness,
We're just words until he came along;
He taught me what they meant,
And made me to him belong.

I force myself to smile,
Its tough, but I don't complain;
But suddenly his thought flashes,
And then comes, the pain again.

6:00 am

After years, I witnessed the 6:am sun. Thanks to my friends, who dragged me off my bed at 6. We were having a pajama party before Pree leaves to Australia on Wednesday. The entire night we chatted non-stop. The usual scene where you put in five crazy, highly talkative girls under a single roof. The party was great, and after endless hours of discussions on various topics ranging from shampoos, clothes, boys and family planning we finally collapsed around 4:am. We were obviously tired from the non-stop chattering and the crazy photo sessions.

We all had our respective jobs to attend that day and so we reluctantly woke up by 6 hoping to make it to work by 9 atleast. We had to get back to our places and get ready. It would take time obviously. I'm so not an early morning person, unlike some of my friends who wake up around 4 or 5 to read blogs :-). Morning would mean 8:00 am for me. But today I was dragged out of my bed and put on a bike. I don't even remember getting out of my night suit and getting into my jeans. Shame on me. There was hardly any light outside, but the weather was super cold. Thankfully I had my trusted jacket. But my poor Swetha, the rider, had no warm clothes on. Me being the delicate darling of my group couldn't give away my jacket either.

The ride was excellent. The feeling of the fresh air blowing your hair and the faint trace of sunlight coming in was amazing. After years I have witnessed this sight. It was awesome. Bangalore has the most amazing weather in the world. Its a different story that I had a migraine attack due to lack of sleep and the stupid paneer I had for dinner. Had to skip work which would have doubled in size when I get back tomorrow. I guess I'm done with my 6:am sights for quite a while now.

Life Is BEAUTIFUL


You know life is good,
When you wake up with a smile;
If felt real good,
It had been quite a while.

Its kinda surprising,
How a tiny sms can cheer you up,
Can lift your spirits,
Like being licked by a pup.

Life is wonderful,
Filled with great friends;
Some make me smile throughout,
While the others defend.

A day out with my girls,
Keeps me cheered for a long time;
This is the best kinda fun you can have,
Where every laugh seems like a chime.

Its definitely true,
Every ending has a beginning;
There need to be up's and down's,
For life to have a meaning.

When you are lost,
Or feel lonely in a mass;
Just chant to yourself,
That this too shall pass.

Life is a gift,
The best you can get;
Things will get better,
Only if you let.

Here I stand,
All tall and strong;
I may be a tiny part of the world,
But still I do belong!

I strongly believe,
Life is a matter of choice;
Either you choose to suffer,
Or make merry and rejoice,

Hope and Faith always pays,
Never try to give up and run;
For there is a God above watching you,
And everyone has their day in the sun.

I know I can have all I want,
But somehow I'm not ready yet;
When I am, I'm gonna rock,
Its only gonna be fun you bet!

Life is sometimes tragic,
And sometimes almost magic,
Sometimes it gets awful,
But still, Life is beautiful.

Pretend

There still is love, there is the care,
Something still is there, that we'll always share;
There are the feelings that we cant spare,
Yet you pretend, that I'm not there.

I see it in your eyes,
No matter how much you deny;
The emotions you show, is only the gist,
Yet you pretend, I don't exist.

I still remember when we walked together,
Your concerned fingers trailing my hips,
The warmth of your hug, and the sweet kiss,
Yet you pretend, you've never tasted my lips.

Since the day you left,
I haven't been the same,
I have nearly gone, crazy and insane,
Yet you pretend, like this is all a game.

I loved you so deeply,
I wanted to be your wife,
I feel I've been stabbed with a knife,
Yet you pretend, I was never in your life.

I can never get over you,
That face I can never forget,
The days we spent, the times we shared,
Yet you pretend, like you never cared.

Years have passed, tears are dry,
Yet sometimes I still do cry,
It doesn't stop, no matter how much I try,
Yet you pretend, like there's nothing between you and I.

I'm just hoping that someday,
You'll be nothing, but a face in a frame,
I'm gonna be a winner that day,
When I pretend, that I don't even know your name.

GoodBye

You may have thought I didn't see,
Or that I hadn't heard,
The love that you taught me,
But I got every word.

Perhaps you thought I missed it all,
And that we'd grown apart,
But, I picked up everything,
For it's all written on my heart.

Life seemed beautiful,
Everything I wanted was true,
If I know what love is,
Darling its because of you.

Without you, love, I wouldn't be,
The woman I am today,
The way that you made me feel,
No one can take that away.

Things may not have worked,
The way we wanted it to,
Still there are no reasons enough,
For me to stop loving you.

You may have changed,
But my feelings refuse to do,
They still are strong,
Just the way I want it to.

It wasn't a mistake loving you,
And I'm very glad that I did,
No, I cant let it go,
Goodbye I can never bid.