Bond


How do we bond with people? How do you check if the frequencies match? What is compatibility? In simple words, what can you talk about to connect with someone.

I can connect with someone with any one of the following.

1. Misery. You're going through the same hell as I am, and can understand how I feel, you have all chances of being my next BFF.

2. Books. Nothing like discussing the writing of your favourite authors.

3. Food. This is the one bond I crave for the most. I'm a foodie and I love to talk about food. I'm also known to dissect the food and butt in with my not so wanted opinion.

4. Fashion. Latest trends, colours, fittings, products etc etc.

5. Music. Discuss different genres and give an honest opinion as to what you think. If you can sing or play an instrument, thumbs up!

6. Movies. I like off beat movies, so someone with similar tastes comes out golden.

7. Poetry. Hardly found anyone who fancies poetry the way I do. Perfectly rhymed words, sends a chill down my spine.

8. Sports. Updated people are always a thrill to be with. Someone once asked me who Rafael Nadal was. I wanted to disappear.

9. Blogs. If you can write and are willing to show it off to the world, then I will respect you inspite of everything else.

10. Love. If you are in love, or been in love, we have a lot to talk about.

Obsessions

Obsessions. I often wonder how this one can be incorporated into the seven deadly sins. They are crazy, take over your existence, drive you to extremes and then slowly squeeze the life out of you. Yet I don't think there is a single person out there without any obsession.

Its dangerous, yet something to live for. Madness takes a whole new meaning while you try to deal with them. Obsessions also form the main reason for distraction from the routine life, they act like a boon at times. But when you decide to deal with them its a trip down hell. I'm an obsessive freak yes. I'm obsessed with cleanliness, books, love poetry, trance music, good food, my hair, the colours black and white, inclusion and a single being.

Is there a way to deal with it? I think not. As non-sensical as it may sound, my obsessions also form the sole reason for my existence.

Why and How


I decide to never think of you,
But that is something I can never do;
Even when life is filled with everything new,
Somewhere in some corner I find you.

I'm trying to be strong,
Doing everything to get you apart;
But once I listen to your voice,
It goes straight and melts my heart.

I'm satiated and happy inside,
Life is good even when you and I are not "us";
But I can't help but know that,
Together, we shall always be a plus.

Its kinda funny cos I have no complaints,
Yet I seem to want something that I can't get;
At times I'm not too sure if I actually want it,
But it always is one thing that I can never forget.

I try not to have you in my mind,
Yet, I pray for you every time I kneel;
Even when I'm in the happiest of moments,
I can't help but think how you feel.

I try not to feel this way,
But why does it hurt when you treat me bad;
Why do I rejoice in your happiness,
Why do I shed a tear when you're sad.

Every single thing in my life,
Reminds me in someway about you;
But when I have decided to let go,
Why is it that I can't think beyond you.

I'm used to the present happenings,
Now I even don't feel blue;
But, how do I get you off my heart?
How do I evade the fact that I still love you.

Eclipse'd


For me, Insanity is probably the best state of mind to be in. I'm a hedonist alright, but this tiny portion of my brain where only insanity prevails is the one to give me the most pleasure. Its this place inside me where very few people are allowed and hardly a bunch of people get to see this side of me. Everyone knows by now that I'm not the typical Indian female. Having said that, there is nothing great about me either. Someone once told me that being different can also mean being weird. So be it! Although, there is something quirky, mysterious and equally annoying about me that tends to attract people. My friend once told me that he just loves me for the fact that he knows that there is always something going on in my mind. Apparently, it attracts him to me. Well what do I say, as long as it works for me! :-)

My mind has been a roller coaster always but finally I'm getting the twists and turns right. I like this care free state I'm currently in. Frankly, of late nothing seems to bother me and I'm happy about it. The past doesn't cast a shadow anymore nor does the future haunt. Today at present, it seems like I'm only known to digress. From one feeling to another and one state of mind to other. I feel like my mind is a zorb with me bouncing in it. Crazy but a pleasant feeling.

'Eclipse' was one of the movies I saw when I was jumbled up at home. The book as such doesn't promise anything in the third interval but the movie is surely worth a dekho!! Plainly because its all about Jacob. The origin of werewolves and Jacob coming of age. He is bare chested for more than 70% of the movie and his expressions, his lovelorn puppy eyes, and the way he lights up when he says "Bella" more than makes up for the rest 30% of the movie. The movie also puts a thought in your mind that you can love more than one person at once. I have never believed in this funda but now I'm beginning to think otherwise. My best friends have stood by this right from day one and I have had umpteen arguments with them as to how can you love more than one person at once. They insisted that we could. Now that the thought is incepted in my mind I need to dissect it. I'm in love with one person for sure. Or at least, that's what I think.

Insanity is like an eclipse to the human mind. It blocks out almost everything and puts together only the pieces you want to see. It finally makes sense to analyse all your options before you decide on anything. Why Bella loves Edward so much no one knows. In my opinion no matter how romantic or passionate Edward is there is something innately selfish about him. He knows that his love can destroy her, puts the already clumsy female into all kinds of trouble and seeks Jacob's help when he has to protect Bella. Still she loves him and is willing to go through all the crap. Weird.

Stephanie Mayer seemed to have lost it when I read the books initially. I thought it was a stupid concept of vampires and were wolves. But the underlying concept of love strikes me only now. As I sit back and re-read the books and watch the movie, the character resemblance is uncanny. I'm no Kirsten Stewart but Bella, the character is a part of every female I know. Every girl should have a Edward and Jacob in her life, but when it comes down to making a choice she needs to weigh out the options and pick the right one. Personally, I love the demure passion, maturity and romance of Edward. But the wild animalistic feelings, the fierce protectiveness and undying love of Jacob warms all the corners of my heart. Its a tough choice. But when you pen a list of both their qualities Jacob wins hands down. Be it the hot, well built body when compared to the pale frame of Edward or the fire in his eyes compared to the cold constipated look that Edward has. Okay okay I'm a team Jacob alright!

Painful Inception


Finally I'm out of bed and kicking. I've been extremely sick for the past week and that has left me rusted. Trust me I can actually hear a faint creak when I try to move my hand or leg. One week, locked up at home with nothing to do but sleep. Thankfully I had my mom around me else knowing the way my brain works I'd surely be dead by now. I dint even have the strength to get up and read a book, so all I could do was lie down and look at the fan swirling above me and think. Thankfully nothing bad this time. Life sure has improved :-)

Right before I fell sick, I saw the movie 'Inception'. That day probably is one the most memorable days of my life. Even though a lot of thoughts were incepted into my mind and I was in a hell a lot of pain, the thought of that day brings a smile. The movie is good. Nothing great. Okay before I get belted let me tell you why I feel so. 'Inception' dint play with my mind the way other Christopher Nolan movies did (minus 'The Dark Knight'). Take for instance 'Memento'. That movie drove me nuts. I had to watch it like thrice and I'm still not sure if I have got it right. 'The Prestige' was another such movie. But honestly I just saw this one again and again to watch Hugh Jackman. Its not everyday you get to see him play a magician and duplicate himself.

So compared to all this 'Inception' felt really simple. Dreams, yeah. Dreams in dreams, yeah. Dreams in dreams in dreams, yeah. An amazing concept, but dint thrill me much. Also, the pain in my right foot might have kept me from getting the actual plot. I would be lying if I said that, it could not be a possibility. Leonardo looks stunning though with his jelled hair and well cut formals. I come back home and then there it was Wham! High fever and joint pain. So after a series of blood tests and ruling out Chickengunia I was advised like a month of rest, to bring up my haemoglobin count and my ever drooping blood pressure. During my current work scenario asking for a month leave would be like asking my lead to donate me her kidneys or something like that. So it was decided to be a week and I lazed around as the shortest week of my life took its course.

It was kinda fun being pampered and fussed over. You might think that I had a great time, but no! I was in a hell a lot of pain, with even a walk from the room to the kitchen having me panting for breath. One thing that I learnt from the past week is to never take your health for granted. Bloody hell! I'm sure I can get past any kinda pain as long as my health is fine. Trust me a heart break doesn't seem all that bad now. At least I was fit to walk around and have distraction then. But here, I was lying on a bed waiting to be taken care of. Waiting to be helped out of bed to eat, supported as you walk... In short, it was a sneak peak into how hell would look to me. I'd rather live until a healthy 50 and call it day rather than drag myself till 80 or something.

For me its all about how I live, rather than how long I live!

Life


The art of living,
Is a mix of letting go and holding on;
There is no point in crying for something,
That has already been gone.

Believe that life's worth living,
The belief will help make it a fact;
Be honest to yourself throughout,
Its not worth it if you put up an act.

Do not dwell in the past,
Do not dream about the future;
Concentrate on the present,
Give it love and let it nurture.

You still are alive and kicking,
Your mission on earth is not yet complete;
Only the zest to live with keep you going,
Just hold on and don't let it deplete.

Its not the length of life that matters,
Its always been the depth of it;
Life is not about holding good cards,
Its about playing them well so they fit.

Life is like a dream for the wise,
For a fool, its a game for sure;
Its something fun for the rich,
And its like misery to the poor.

Life is like a series of collisions,
Some strike right and some don't;
Life still remains the best therapist,
Some may believe it and some wont.

Never accept any other definition of life;
Do it yourself, give it a name;
Very few things in life are really important,
Set the target and take the aim.

Being undead doesn't mean you're alive,
Live everyday like its your last;
Life is an unpredictable story,
There always is a change in the plot or the cast.

The price of anything,
Is the amount of life you exchange it for;
Life is your story of how, why and when,
Just make sure its you who holds the pen.

Without You


The birds still chirp,
The sun continues to shine;
I can feel the happiness inside,
There are no tears and no more whine.

My smile now reaches my eye,
If I had wings, I would fly;
There is fun and laughter everywhere,
Love, for sure is meant to share.

My eyes do feel brighter,
And life does seem lighter;
Everything seems to go my way,
No more needles and no more hay.

Pride can stand a thousand trials,
But if you're strong you'll never fall;
So its best to face the wind,
And against the rain, stand tall.

But even with the perfect life,
There still seems to be a gap;
Sometimes even a speck of nostalgia,
Can make you feel like utter crap.

It takes two to whisper quietly,
That's when the awkward silence kills;
When I sense the lost love around,
Feelings churn and then silently spills.

All is well until the realisation dawns,
That's when all seems like drags and yawns;
There maybe joy standing in a queue,
Still, life lacks lustre without you.

Of Men and Women


So, the quote syndrome is back. And how :-). Everything below needs to be taken positively and with a pinch of salt! The post is really long so apologies. Actually no, it had to be long to include both the sexes :P.

Men
------
A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him. ~Mae Wes

My theory is that men are no more liberated than women. ~Indira Gandhi

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. ~Katharine Hepburn

I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire? ~Zsa Zsa Gabor

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? ~Linda Ellerbee

You [men] are not our protectors.... If you were, who would there be to protect us from? ~Mary Edwards Walker

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard

The only difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys. ~Author Unknown

Did you hear about the baby born with organs of both sexes? It had a penis and a brain. ~Author Unknown

Men are only as loyal as their options. ~Bill Maher

I wonder why men get serious at all. They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodies which goes up and down by its own will. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself. ~Yoko Ono

Three wise men - are you serious? ~Author Unknown

What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. ~Author Unknown

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. ~Natalie Wood

The average man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman with beautiful legs. ~Marlene Dietrich

Women
----------

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. ~Arnold Haultain

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. ~Charlotte Whitton

Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage. ~Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. ~Oscar Wilde

There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that. ~Harold Robbins

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls. ~Mignon McLaughlin

Women keep a special corner of their hearts for sins they have never committed. ~Cornelia Otis Skinner

Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weakness. ~Marie de Vichy-Chamrond

There are women who do not like to cause suffering to many men at a time, and who prefer to concentrate on one man: These are the faithful women. ~Alfred Capus

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty. ~James Thurber

Once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her. ~John Vanbrugh

Women speak two languages - one of which is verbal. ~William Shakespeare

Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember. ~Author Unknown

No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not. ~H.L. Mencken

Kill


Each man kills the thing he loves,
Let this be by each heard;
Some do it with a sword,
Some do it with a smiling word!

-- William Shakespeare.

Heart Breaker


I know you're being honest,
I know that you seriously care;
But how do I make you understand?
That I'm never gonna get there.

You make me feel precious,
But if I'd known it from the start;
I'd have walked away right then,
Cos I dint want to break your heart.

When you say "I Love You",
I know you just want to share;
But the place where I am now,
Trust me, I can't afford to care.

Call me heart breaker if you want,
I might just tear you apart;
But when it comes to love,
You need to be sure and act smart.

I'm not gonna deceive you,
Its not easy for me either;
Its better to hurt a little now,
Rather than kill later.

I've had the taste of perfection,
So now nothing else I can see;
You are great the way you are,
But you're surely not meant for me.

I know how much it hurts,
Cos my heart's been broken too;
But this damned feeling fails to cease,
I can still love him with each of my piece.

I know I'm being very cold,
But its tough for me to love again;
Cos I know it for myself,
That I'll always be in love with someone else.

Hope.. And a li'l Sugar


She always stays by you,
No matter how many times you fail;
She's always humble and positive,
And is as holy as the grail.

She gives you a reason to live,
She makes you wanna give it a shot;
She always hovers around in the mind,
Whether you want her around or not.

She doesn't promise you anything,
But she sure makes you forget the pain;
If you decide to stand by her,
She wont let your efforts go in vain.

She has this strange funny way,
Of making you believe in her;
She makes you see things right,
When all you can see is a blur.

Together with her counterpart,
She lifts you and helps you to cope;
If he's called Faith,
Then she's called Hope.

She's like a hot summer,
In the middle of cold winter;
She's like the hard shelled coconut,
With a surprise soft centre.

She'll get you, what you want;
But she makes you put in a strife;
She's like a little sugar,
In the bitter sweet pudding called life.

The 24th List


Oh boy, so we're back here. Its a month for my birthday and its time for my checklist. Damn it, I so remember writing the check list for last year. It just seemed like yesterday and look now, its been a year since that. Time does fly at times.

But this time there is a difference. Last year I kept cribbing about the fact that I'm growing old and why the hype about Birthdays and all that. But today, I'm actually looking forward for the day I turn 24. I don't mind that anymore. Within last August and this one, I've grown so much that I'm actually surprised that I'm not turning 26 or 27 :P. Feels nice to grow old for a change. So before I pen down this year's list here's a check on last year's list.

1) I figured out that I don't have the balls to just quit what I am doing and try out some other arena. I have responsibilities and I can't wander around. Moreover, I've made peace with whatever I'm doing now. Plus, I have my blog to embrace my creative side. So not missing out anything really.
2) Check. I've become more responsible and more independent.
3) Check. No more loose ends left. All stitched and compromised with.
4) Check. Finally I know the love story of Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler.
5) Understood that I can't do anything about it. She's the one who has to do something. Anyway I'm with her as she check out her prospective grooms.
6) Check. 100% done.
7) Check. Lost a few friends who decided to walk away. But I don't care cos they were never worth it.
8) Check. Virtually met Edward Maya and now I'm in love with his music.
9) Check. Decided the topic as well as my co-author.
10) Check. I do get attacks occasionally. Migraine is not curable and only prevention helps. So I try my best.

Not bad eh. Pretty good for a year.

Okay now this year's list.

1) I'm gonna live for myself and do whatever that takes to make me happy.
2) Eh well, that's it!

Now before you all think how selfish I've got, let me explain. Last year all I did was to sort out things with other people, try to make them happy and blah blah. This time I want to live. For myself. I want to enjoy the minute pleasures of life. I want to read more, learn to play the guitar, spend more time with friends, take regular vacations, learn to swim, listen to more music, take care of my health, pamper myself from time to time and all that. Nobody gets hurt anyway, so it sure is worth it :-).

Oops, and most importantly I need to start drawing a line when it comes to friendships with the opposite sex. I've constructed a boulevard around me and yet it some how doesn't seem to be enough. I'm very clear about my feelings right from the start and when a person is actually a friend, he knows what I've been through and the fact that I have no room for anyone else when it comes to love. Honestly, now my damned story is spread so wide that even people who don't know me know that. Still, someday someone decides to try. Things get ugly, their ego gets hurt and I lose my friend. How I hate that.

What does it take for someone to respect the other persons' feelings I'll never know. So from now on, no more me getting hurt. If someone doesn't get it, I'll rather show them the door than sit and feel guilty about hurting that person. When I decide to move on or when love decides to visit again, I'll think about it. Until then I'm fine the way I am and am in love with my life the way it is. Enough said!

Lets see what life has in store. If it goes according to the plan then life is not life. So I've decided not to do anything. I'll just sit back and embrace what life has to give me. No complains, no regrets. Anyway, Life is worth living only that way.

The thing called Bliss


Feelings. Sigh. I'm loaded with them and the best part is that I never fail to show them. If I like someone I go way beyond my reach to care for that person and when I hate someone then they immediately are off my life. The hate part wasn't like this until sometime ago, but now trust me, thats the best. As they say, good riddance to bad rubbish. Over the past 3-4 months, many people have walked out of my life. Honestly, it hurts. But its best not to care. They were never worth it anyway.

Okay, I was talking about feelings. I get drifted apart so easily, damn it. So, feelings, no not the regular ghisa-pita ones. Love, anger, pain, have felt this many times. But there are certain silly feelings which are top-notch. I call them bliss. Like :

  • The thing you feel when you're snuggled up under the blanket, knowing that you don't have to get up for work.
  • The thing you feel when a smile lights up the face of the person you love.
  • The thing you feel when you smell a hot steaming cup of coffee as you walk out of the bedroom all groggy and grumpy.
  • The thing you feel when the person who takes you for granted, slips in a subtle compliment.
  • The thing you feel when you wear a freshly washed pair of jeans.
  • The thing you feel when mom and dad talk about their 'love story'.
  • The thing you feel when your best friend tells you that you're looking good, when you know that you are looking anything but that.
  • The thing you feel when your doggie licks your entire face just when you come back from work.
  • The thing you feel when the cake you baked is finished within the next hour.
  • The thing you feel when Edward kisses Bella for the first time in 'Twilight'.
  • The thing you feel when the 1000 line code you wrote returns zero errors.
  • The thing you feel when you get the exact shade of shoes that goes with a lone shirt of yours.
  • The thing you feel when you listen to Edward Maya's 'Stereo Love'.
  • The thing you feel when the one you love breathes on your neck.
  • The thing you feel when you smell the first book you ever read 11 years ago.
  • The thing you feel when you find the earring you've been looking for since ages.
  • The thing I feel when I see the number of visitors who visit my blog.
  • The thing I feel when I fall asleep in his arms.
  • The thing I feel when everything is going wrong in my life, and I'm still able to smile.

This, is BLISS :-)

She


Does she look at you the way I do?
Does she make you feel the way I did?
Do you feel the same comfort with her?
Does she know when to act stupid?

Can she make you feel precious?
Does she know what she has?
How does she react to what you say?
Is she always smooth or is she rash?

Does she smile when you sing for her?
Can she feel the pleasure it gives?
Do her toes curl when you touch her?
Does she tremble when you kiss her lips?

Can you see the love in her eyes?
Can she be naughty as well as nice?
Can see leave the world for you?
Is she dumb or is she wise?

Does she think you are her life?
Does she want to be your wife?
Will she love you forever?
Will she hold on and leave you never?

How often does she think of you?
What can she do for you?
Can she love you from a distance?
Can she change herself from old to new?

Does she laugh at your silly acts?
Does she believe you even without facts?
Can she read your every thought?
Will she take the first step when you've fought?

Is she willing to take you as you are?
Or does she want you to change for her?
Can she lose herself for you?
Does her each breath say 'I Love You'?

Somebody


Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you,
Somebody wants to see you smile;
Somebody loves you,
Somebody adores you,
For you, somebody can walk the extra mile.

Somebody wants to see you everyday,
Somebody wants to hear you at noon,
Somebody dreams of you every night;
Somebody always misses you,
Somebody wants to kiss you,
Somebody wants to hold you close and tight.

Somebody wants to mend broken things,
Without you, somebody's life stings,
Somebody prays only for you;
Somebody has you stored in memory,
Somebody is crazy about you,
Somebody who is old and not new.

Somebody craves for your touch,
Somebody loves you so much,
Somebody wants you to see;
Somebody just hopes that,
Someday you will realise,
That somebody's me!

The Noose


The latest victim was Viveka Babajee. I don't know what goes through a person's mind when he/she decides to kill him/herself. Its either a moment of fury or the last resort for a hapless soul. Come on, how bad can life get? In my opinion the people who opt for suicide are the most selfish people on earth. They can't tolerate a few things and give up, leaving their loved ones to tolerate more crap than what they had in their life. And that too for the most lamest of reasons, "A failed Relationship". If every soul who has had a failed relationship decided to kill themself, then probably the world will have only of 25% of its current population. Each one should know only one thing, "Nothing, absolutely nothing is worth giving up your life". Not a thing, not a person.

Relationships never have a shelf life. Some last for ever and some shatter very early. Its all a part of life. I know its really hard to handle a broken relationship, but its not impossible. Its all about how you take it. I'm still in the process of healing and most importantly I'm alive! I wont lie, I have thought about this goddamned option way too many times, but I didn't have the nerve to implement it. The faces of my parents and my friends flash in front of me, even when such a negative thought comes into my mind. When you learn to get past that phase, the rest of it is less hard. Now, I wouldn't think of giving up my life for anything or anyone. Hell yeah, its my life and I love it. I have more than enough people in my life who love me and more than enough good relationships.

A failed relationship does not only mean that of Love. It can be the one with parents, your children or your friends. When all the other relationships are alive and kicking, I don't see the point in giving up for the one path, gone terribly wrong. I know its wrecks your life, fu*** your mind and breaks you from within. But still you need to hold on. Giving up means insulting your life and God, who gave you that life. Things don't remain bad all the time. The clock ticks on and the sun does shine. One thing I can vouch for. If you have successfully got past this phase of life, then trust me nothing else is difficult for you. Life will sail on smoothly, because after this nothing else comes close to terrible.

Nafisa Joesph, Kuljeet Randhawa and now Viveka Babajee, three successful women, amazingly beautiful, famous and they could have had everything they wanted. Only if they had held on to life and believed in hope. Its sad, really sad that they gave up. The men for whom they killed themselves must be feeling so powerful. I don't blame them. Why give someone such power over yourself? I feel pathetic when I read such things. Is this how life is supposed to be? To come to the grand finale on a noose? Well, not mine atleast.

"Before you give up, think of all the reasons for which you held on for so long".

Look who is Back

Look who is back with a mop on his head and baring half of his chest. If you're heart is strong, click here.

Boy, this guy never gives up does he.