19th Jan, 2012

The problem with me is that I'm not used to happiness. But seeing the steady ramp in this particular emotion since a year, I guess its about time I get used to it and learn to bask in it without any doubts and concerns. Starting yesterday, I did it.

This day has been wonderful. The most important day in the whole of my adult life. Reaching a professional high and celebrating the joyous moment with the man I love. Do I need more things to make life perfect?

Being a true bred Lioness I've always dared to do things that people think a billion times before jumping in. After 3 years in a particular domain at work, I decided that this is not what I want to do. I did not want to spend the rest of my life writing spooky code that I give a damn about. Thanks to a blessed tongue, I wanted to do something which has me talking for almost 100% of the time. I just threw away my experience and jumped head first into it. Today, 4 months later as I'm rewarded, I just want to pat myself on my back and walk with my head held more high. This is what I want to do, this is where I want to be.

My first long relationship went kaput, making me cynical about love. I almost gave up, but love is an emotion that fails to elude me. The second one lasted long enough and gave me a new lease of life. But again some things work out and some things don't. The fault lies in the person and not the emotion. I can't believe I almost gave up on it. I still am skeptical about commitment and relationships, but love is something I can't stay away from. Can't help it when I am surrounded by such wonderful people. Today, I have a man by my side who means the world to me. There has only been joy since the minute he stepped into my life. He understands my fears and helps me get over them. He makes me want to use strong words like 'Love' and 'Relationship'. I ain't complaining and the romantic in me lives on.

Life troubles us. We need all the courage and strength to fight it. And most importantly you need to dare.

Dare to hope.

Have faith.

Believe.

You need to be able to get out of your comfort zone and challenge life's middle finger. You live only once, follow your dreams. Make them come to life. Its not tough.

What goes around, comes around. Karma is a bitch they say, well I'm prepared.

Atleast its gonna be a battle of the equals.

~ Soumya

Touch Me & I will Follow

Meeting you was a miracle in itself
Good times then continued to flow
You brought out the buried parts in me
The child like squigle and the womanly glow

There was an ease when I came to you
The common wit was the best ever base
When sense of humor binds us strongly
We know that this is the most lovely phase

Common thoughts and awesome comfort
Is something very very hard to find
When you can laugh at yourself without inhibitions
You know you can control both the heart and mind

With you around, life feels simple
No complications about the future or the past
There was a meaning to every meeting
Even with a coffee we could have a blast

Day by day the strings wound more tight
Yet not once did it feel like a chore
It maybe a mistake, but it does feel right
If it was wrong it would have bothered the core

No regrets, no complaints, was the agreed mantra
It just happened without any effort
We just got lost in our beautiful world
Without the need for any kind of alert

You've given me unadulterated happiness
Making me feel the need to use the taboo 'L' word
What I feel for you is from deep within
I don't say it but I'm sure you've heard

You made me the center of your being
'No' is the word you have never used on me
With a smile you bore my anger and crankiness
Inspite of me, you have let me be

The happiness that you see in my eyes
Reflects the love that I see in yours
Feeling your touch drives me nuts
That smile of yours completely lures

I know you love me without expectations
You can hold me tight and vanish my sorrow
I'm the Lioness who is known to lead
But you touch me right, and I shall follow

Leave me Alone!

2012 started of pretty well with a clear mind set as to what I want and what I clearly do not want. Today, I might not know what I want but I surely know what I do not want. Its funny as to how priorities become options and then the options become useless finally fading into oblivion.

Such is the course of life. The sooner we accept it, the better.

Do anyone of you believe in human jinx? Like those people who can only bring bad luck? Something like a black cat crossing the road. Only here it is in the form of a living person who unfortunately happens to be a part of your life. Well, guess what? I just found mine. Not a very great feeling trust me, especially if the jinx happens to be someone whom you have had feelings for in the past.

Why me? I mean seriously, why me?

Just a message or a call from this person can ruin my entire day, or like the most recent instance, it can even ruin a prospective love story. Its almost like they want to say "You left me, so let everything go wrong in your life". Or it can be a jealous friend who secretly wishes ill for you. No, I'm not a superstitious person, but when this has happened more than a hundred times until today, I just tend to believe it. I had cut him out like 3 months ago. Everything was fine for about a week or so and then he decided to make abrupt comebacks, ruining random days of mine, one at a time.

I'm trying my best to avoid him, but he seems to be determined to make his presence felt on the worst days possible. Like on the first day of my User Acceptance Testing in Accra or something simple and yet vital, like the new year. If 2012 goes down the drain due to him, I swear to God he'd not live to see 2013.

So guys, you might have someone like a jinx in your life. If you do not know who it is yet, preen and find out. If you do know, then cut them out now. NOW! They shall stick on to you like a leech and suck your life out of you and curl themselves up so that you cannot see their victory smile. Beware my wonderful people. Please do.

On a totally different note, how does the background look now? I absolutely loved it and it so so so reflects me. A girl who loves her life the way it is and the only thing that she wants from the world is to leave her alone. No interruptions and no questions. That's all I want from life now.