The best thing about 'Tanu Weds Manu Returns' was clearly Kusum aka Datto, the Tanu doppelganger. I absolutely loved the scene in which Tanu calls her a gawar(villager) and she retorts saying that she is not a gawar as she makes her own money and supports her family unlike Tanu whose underwear also is bought by someone else. I clapped the loudest for this scene. In my honest opinion anyone who is over the age of eighteen irrespective of sex should make their own money. I started earning very young, not because my parents couldn't afford to, but because I wanted to earn my own money. Financial independence is not only about the money. It is about the confidence and self respect that comes with it. Earning money gives you the freedom to do what you want with it. Constantly asking for money from someone else does no good to ones self confidence.
Age old customs and history has made the man as the money maker of the family while a woman worships him by providing him food and sex. In return, she gets to ask her husband for what she wants and if he is in a good mood he would buy it for her. Years have passed but still some women are stuck in that era. Earning money doesn't mean you have to earn and fend for the whole family. It means that you should atleast be in a position to take care of yourself and your basic needs financially. Yes, I used the word basic here on purpose. If a man or a woman above the age of eighteen is not able to handle his or her basic needs i.e food and clothing, then I have absolutely no respect for them. I agree that some people are still studying at that age, so let us push that age limit to twenty two. But what about the people who still depend on their parents or husbands for financial support? The thought itself is appalling.
You can always study and make money. You can have a steady job and make some extra money part time. It is the thought that counts and the push to achieve it. I make very good money and I work really hard for that, be it my regular job or my writing. My work is my worship and that is God for me. I don't believe in religions and pujas. My work gives me everything that I need today. Not only limited to money. Thankfully I make enough money where in I can take good care of myself and my family. My husband loves this independent streak in me. That day has never come where I had to ask him or anybody else for money. I buy whatever I want to without having to ask him for it. Any big purchase would obviously be discussed as both of us are really thrifty and spend money only where it is needed. I shop a lot online and am an impulsive buyer when it comes to certain deals. I place an order and it is done. More often than not I end up shopping for my husband only and I am glad that I have the capacity to buy him his favorite stuff.
Financial independence is much beyond money. The self worth and confidence it gives you is something else altogether. My mother was always a working lady who worked from home most of the time. In her late forties, she ventured out and started her own business which is doing very good now. Today at the age of fifty eight, she still handles her business and is immensely respected. Probably seeing such a strong woman around me, made me hate the concept of housewives. I do not understand it at all, about how a perfectly capable woman can waste her life. I do know of some housewives or homemakers who do all that they can to make some earning out of their passions. Atleast enough to take care of themselves. Most of the bloggers I know are home makers who work out of their house by giving life to some passion of theirs. Be it gardening, cooking, painting, stitching or anything else. But others just sit at home and crib about how their husbands don't make enough money to fulfill all their desires. Such women seriously need to develop some spine and go out and learn to fend for themselves.
If the woman has an health issue or any other personal issue apart from society, in-laws etc; staying at home for unavoidable reasons make sense. Society will talk no matter what, if women want to adhere to that then no one can help them. Like I said before, it is all about the intent.
There is this certain breed of housewives who flaunt their possessions to one another. Be it a new appliance or a piece of jewelry. These women have not earned a penny all their lives and yet that doesn't stop them from flaunting. A husband's money is not equal to the wife's money. If the wife is working then the money together is theirs, but if a housewife is talking about something that someone else bought for her, it is never hers. Depending on someone else for basic needs is such a horrible thing. I pity such women who have to sit at home and beg their husbands for money to buy something that they want. Even if it is coriander. It is such a pathetic situation to be in. You might live in an own house, drive in the biggest of cars and own the most expensive gadgets, still nothing of it belongs to you. It exists because someone else worked really hard to get it. You only get to use it, that doesn't mean it is yours. It will always belong to someone else.
The amount is not important as that of the intention. Every woman has the capacity to earn money in some way or the other. But some of them have given up on life and have decided to live all their life by piggy banking on their husbands backs. I have some friends who were working initially but after marriage voluntarily chose to be housewives as they did not want to work. Shame on them. Today they sit at home and watch TV while their husbands toil at work and earn money. These women then pester their husbands to buy them jewelry and take them out on exotic locations and later crib when they don't get it. I wonder how they feel like it. I'd rather kill myself than be in a position where I have to ask someone else for money. That too to buy my basics like lingerie, toiletries and stuff. Ewww, even the thought of it scares me.
The logic is simple. If you want to flaunt something, make sure you have earned it. My husband buys me expensive presents but I never flaunt them. It will always be something that he bought for me. The love and the intention is clear though. I flaunt the things that I buy for him. Thankfully I am in a position where I can buy him the best of things and it gives me immense pride that I can do so. Everything that I own today is what I have bought from the money I have earned. It can be the smallest of things to the biggest, it is all mine because I have made the money that went into it. I'm fiercely financially independent and my only competition is me. I strive hard to be in a position to buy better things for myself instead of waiting for my husband to bless me with something. I do not want to compare myself with other women regarding what they own. It maybe self bought, then I would respect them for it but never compare. If it is bought by the parents or the husband, I would just laugh at them. They are no way close to my league. Tomorrow if my husband and I buy a car, it would be ours as we both would have invested in it. Same with a house. Sitting at home with a remote in my hand, I would not claim to own big things.
No matter how rich I get, I will always continue to work. As long as I have the strength I will. Even if I am bed ridden I will do something. It is not about the money at all. It is a feeling of self worth. Of confidence. Of pride.
Dear men and women, if you talk nineteen to a dozen about something and are flaunting it off like there is no tomorrow, the least you can do is to make sure that you have earned the money that went behind it. Else, please get out there and see how hard it is to earn a living. A safety pin bought from your own money is much much bigger than a mansion bought for you by someone else.
A life not capable of earning is a life wasted. Without a doubt.