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Finding JOMO

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I just came back from a mini vacation and I'm thrilled. Not only because I had a great break, but because this was the first time in my whole life where I did nothing for a few days. It was a short road trip with our pup and we had a nice little house with a lawn for ourselves. While I had carried my books and the Kindle, I didn't even touch them. My partner and I talked endlessly, watched random movies, ordered in food, played with our pup and caught up on some much needed sleep. It was the best time ever.

Those who know me know that I'm not someone who can stay still. I need to keep doing something at all times. I'm a control freak and at any given point of time I have about 48732 things running in my mind. I know it is not good, but unfortunately that's just the way I'm built. Of late, I've been feeling quite overwhelmed by the number of things on my plate. There always is food to be prepared, shopping to be done, laundry to be washed and dried and folded up, plants to be watered, menus to be planned, bottles to be filled, a pup to be taken for a walk or groomed, a zillion books waiting to be read, multiple ideas floating in my mind waiting to find words, office work, future ambitions, other interests and passions and what not. At times I feel that I'm just going to burst. Sometimes, that feels like a solution too. Just getting it all out.

I have a house help now and I also have the most supportive partner on the planet. Still, the mental load remains. I'm not sure if we women are programmed a certain way or if I just take on too much. As much as I have learned to the let go and take a step back from pretty much everything else apart from the top most priorities, I still tend to feel overwhelmed periodically. 

I've never been one for YOLO or FOMO, I honestly abhor such terms. Having discovered JOMO only recently, I might just make it my word of the year. This year as much as I'm going to focus on my "me-time", I'm also going to focus on my "doing nothing" time. No, I'm not being lazy or putting things off knowing very well that they will be waiting for me until I get to it. I'm just going to sit with a cup of coffee on my balcony and enjoy the view outside. I'm sure the thought of chores will fill my mind, but I'm consciously going to try to put it off. Doing nothing for a couple of days made me feel free and I was not cranky or antsy. I need more of that. 

I'm a creature of habit/routine and an avid planner. Now, I'm going to consciously plan such breaks for me. I don't have to go on a vacation all the time, I want to implement the same at home too. Let the laundry be, order in for a few days, sleep as much as I want to. I think we all need to do this every once in a while. I knew that I sucked at taking breaks, but after having tasted it now, there is no looking back. This is for my own health and sanity.

I'm not saying that the sky looked more blue or the stars shined more, I'm still realistic. It is just that not having anything to do made me feel light. Free even. What's not to like there?

Whether you are busy or not, overwhelmed or not, take some time out to embrace JOMO. Miss out on the mundane things. Turn a blind eye to social media and its ilk. Leave the kitchen alone for a few days. Let the laundry pile up. You'll get to them when you get to them. 

Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Find JOMO and ensure you never run out.

Comments

  1. "Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Find JOMO and ensure you never run out." That sums up what I've in mind for my year in 2023. I could relate to many of the things you mentioned, Soumya, especially how you take on so much and feel overwhelmed. I guess many women are wired that way and that's why it really is up to us to break this vicious cycle, every now and then, and take that much-needed break from the routine. JOMO is a great reminder for all of us. Thank you for sharing this, Soumya.

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    1. I'm glad you could relate to this, Esha. We really need to break this cycle.

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  2. I think women are programmed to think that doing nothing is a crime. That's why we feel guilty for every little thing that we couldn't do. Spending time doing nothing helps in refueling our body and mind. It's wonderful that you enjoyed your mini vacation without doing anything, Soumya. Switch off, relax and recharge. Right?

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    1. Exactly! I wonder why we were made this way. Sigh.

      Absolutely right!

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  3. More than not doing anything physically, I would like to do nothing mentally, as in send my mind for a vacation and give it a break from thinking things all the time. I am so tired. But the mind is such, it just won't take that break and give me a break. What do I do about that? I wish I could kick it out. For a while, I mean. Or put it to sleep. :)

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    1. Oh Shilpa, my heart breaks for you. I also understand how this feels.

      Maybe once in a while, just zone out. You need to try.

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  4. I do this often and I'm so glad to see you embrace JOMO whole heartedly dear S.

    Big hugs

    https://natashamusing.com/2023/01/kindness-word-of-the-year-2023-woty/

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    1. Thank you for sharing your posts with me. It felt like I was doing the right thing.

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  5. The need to stay away from a lot of things has become a constant now. The more I don't know the better I am/become is my feeling on a lot of things/people (I bet many would feel that with me too, and I've come to feel it's alright, I know I could be annoying :)). However, JOMO has helped me open to new things, new learnings and new thoughts.
    Everywhere it is all about productivity, minimalism, accumulating too much, having too many or not having enough. This is all good in moderation, but drains me when I think I don't have a plan for every hour of my day, or every meal of the day or for every chore of the day.

    That mindset of mine has always been all or nothing. The balance between the two is something I am slowly becoming aware of and trying to put it to practice. I am trying to live amidst the 10938 things I want to do and the 135456 I will never get done. :) So, welcome to JOMO, I must say I like to switch off often, be it from social media, or from family media :) I respond in 5 mins or 5 business days has become my favourite lately. :)

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    1. I'm so glad you have gotten here. I need to switch off more often too.

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  6. JOMO sounds just the thing to be in and am SO glad you have discovered it too. Its so easy to put on guilt and traipse through life with it pulling you down. I am so proud of you girl - your mini vacay sounds blissful and your idea to let things be and not stress them over is AWESOME!!! Wishing you tonnes of luck for staying on this course of self love and healing!! Hugs!!

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