tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post8545196640314459020..comments2024-03-06T13:41:15.527+05:30Comments on LOL: Life Of Leo: #FeministMondays | On Looking MarriedSoumyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07439590494620390907noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-54460886121798855562018-01-16T13:06:47.740+05:302018-01-16T13:06:47.740+05:30To each her own yes, but it is sad that some women...To each her own yes, but it is sad that some women are so quick to judge the others! Someday with time, hopefully things will change.Soumyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07439590494620390907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-54539597557016639532018-01-12T12:46:07.957+05:302018-01-12T12:46:07.957+05:30When I was a newly wed, I loved wearing the mangal...When I was a newly wed, I loved wearing the mangalsutra, the red bangles and the bindi though I didn't really like sindoor, I just put a dot, for the novelty of it. It wore off very quickly. Also because I wear western wear regularly, I didn't like to pair ethnic stuff with it. Luckily, I lived in the US in the initial years of marriage and no one gave a shit. Even the Indians there were quite warm and not bitchy. I did officially change my surname as that seemed like a normal thing to do back then. Perhaps if I had stayed back in India, I wouldn't have bothered. I don't mind it either way. I have so many friends who have retained their maiden name and no one even raises an eyebrow. The only time I dress up traditionally is for family weddings. One, because I love saris. And bindi and jewelry goes well with it. Second because everyone in the house loves it when I go all out when I dress up in saris and hence I enjoy it. :) But on daily basis, I hardly wear any 'symbols' of marriage. The toe rings I took out on the first night itself. They were so uncomfortable along with the payal. Over the years, I have stopped judging women. Perhaps they really love dressing up the way they do. Maybe, they place a lot of faith in wearing their mangalsutra. And that's perfectly fine. Women with plaits and oil in their hair, always in ethnic clothes used to get my ridicule when I was a college kids way back in Bombay very careful about how I dressed but no more. Because we are so much more than what we wear. The women who make those silly statements to you are best ignored solely because their exposure is very low and their thinking prowess low. They can't understand that people are different and live differently.Rachnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02275266551382931603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-77680864799582424272018-01-10T12:28:43.502+05:302018-01-10T12:28:43.502+05:30Exactly! Why should one look married? For what?Exactly! Why should one look married? For what?Soumyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07439590494620390907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-31093539260619457792018-01-10T12:27:04.263+05:302018-01-10T12:27:04.263+05:30Seriously! In Bangalore, yes! Some women still bel...Seriously! In Bangalore, yes! Some women still belong to the 14th Century.<br /><br />I wear my engagement ring too, because I love it. Honestly, that's the only piece of jewelry I wear. So does Cal. <br /><br />But do anyone ask men what they do to look married? Even their rings will be considered a sign of fashion or something. Soumyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07439590494620390907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-8038513059733011372018-01-10T12:24:39.899+05:302018-01-10T12:24:39.899+05:30More power to you, Anamika.
How I wish that I cou...More power to you, Anamika.<br /><br />How I wish that I could live in a place far away from my relatives who love to nit-pick. Soumyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07439590494620390907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-12460606691161321972018-01-10T12:23:13.368+05:302018-01-10T12:23:13.368+05:30That's the sad part. Many independent like min...That's the sad part. Many independent like minded women fall into this trap all in the name of tradition.<br /><br />Thank you Shalz.Soumyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07439590494620390907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-89326687275235959912018-01-10T12:21:43.466+05:302018-01-10T12:21:43.466+05:30Thank you, my dear Pohie!Thank you, my dear Pohie!Soumyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07439590494620390907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-11070763604427322682018-01-10T12:17:10.363+05:302018-01-10T12:17:10.363+05:30The sad part is such things still matter to a lot ...The sad part is such things still matter to a lot of women.Soumyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07439590494620390907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-7822415566309784062018-01-10T12:14:51.178+05:302018-01-10T12:14:51.178+05:30Good for you, Kay! Thanks you, do come back for mo...Good for you, Kay! Thanks you, do come back for more.Soumyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07439590494620390907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-25440431985704372582018-01-10T12:04:06.416+05:302018-01-10T12:04:06.416+05:30Same with my husband. He finds it weird when I'...Same with my husband. He finds it weird when I'm in a typical wife avatar! I have stopped doing it altogether! I find it weird as it is not me at all.<br /><br />Lets live the way we want to Maith, hell with the world.Soumyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07439590494620390907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-76907311486295176832018-01-10T10:28:49.480+05:302018-01-10T10:28:49.480+05:30Eggjactly!!!! :))) Wish more people just left us t...Eggjactly!!!! :))) Wish more people just left us the way we are. I dont wear a thali( except in the first month of marriage, when I would feel guilty to remove it), no toe ring no vermilion. Often people would tell me " Oh you dont look married!!!" .. My most common thought was, " why should i look married"????? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-30100654397154393632018-01-09T22:26:21.682+05:302018-01-09T22:26:21.682+05:30Oh gosh! Those were some comments that you had to ...Oh gosh! Those were some comments that you had to listen to. And I am slightly shocked. You have got lectures in Bangalore? Thinking on the topic I wear a mangalsutra and a ring. Both because VT bought those two things of my choice and with his only savings. So even though the mangalsutra isn't a traditional thing in my caste or his, that's love. Vermilion and toe right - nope. Like you, got fascinated initially and gave up very soon. VT wears a ring and keep telling him that the ring is his married sign ;) So, yes with you with the fact that why the men aren't asked such questions and just the women?Parulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14933210393492294463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-76047711252411996612018-01-09T19:43:19.721+05:302018-01-09T19:43:19.721+05:30This is exactly like my life after marriage. I did...This is exactly like my life after marriage. I didn't get my surname changed after marriage and nobody in my family (including my in-laws) bothered about it too since I was working and also it would have meant too many hassles and paper work. Over the last 12 years, I have been addressed as Mrs. Agnihotri numerous times. While I used to correct it initially, later on I decided to take care of my peace and let it pass. I live independently away from my relatives which allows me to live as I want to, giving up what I want to. I live happily.Anamika Agnihotrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16153091934373383608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-39853840072105322362018-01-09T19:22:22.473+05:302018-01-09T19:22:22.473+05:30Oh god this is so banal and needless but so very p...Oh god this is so banal and needless but so very prevalent in every strata on one's social network. Even well meaning friends fall under this category of trying to instill the "married woman" notion in you by pointing out to you that you shoud be well marked now! <br />Loved your post for its honest opinions - more power to you Soumyashalz75https://www.blogger.com/profile/12088043835065502548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-90604650418131543262018-01-09T12:09:54.166+05:302018-01-09T12:09:54.166+05:30What do I say, except give you a standing ovation,...What do I say, except give you a standing ovation, my dear Zoe! I think your last line sums it up best - each to their own, but don't diss the others who don't want to do it.Sid @ iwrotethose.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16726189024235943108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-72947906995866414582018-01-08T22:38:14.023+05:302018-01-08T22:38:14.023+05:30I’ve never worn toe rings or bindi or mangalsutra ...I’ve never worn toe rings or bindi or mangalsutra or any other adornment of a married woman. But I’ve been lucky that no one has ever questioned me on why I don’t wear any of these things! So I was a bit surprised to hear that people still pass judgement over something as trivial as this! You’d think these things would be more a matter of choice in today’s day and age!Modern Gypsyhttps://moderngypsy.innoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-81422271216162579692018-01-08T19:18:13.476+05:302018-01-08T19:18:13.476+05:30Sigh! How many times we have been through this and...Sigh! How many times we have been through this and we still face the same. Initially I was doing things to keep up appearances until my husband called it out to me and told me to do something only if I want to, be it when I am alone or when I am with his people. I realized how right he was and from then on, I do what I want. Dealing with it is their problem. I wear my thaali and toe rings because I like them and want to. I wear sindoor once in a while when I feel like it. Jeez, I guess we are never gonna tire of this topic as long as people come up with such crap. I am loving the #FeministMondays series.Keirthanahttps://www.keirthana.in/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9140698802730756464.post-80229413214878118332018-01-08T17:36:05.663+05:302018-01-08T17:36:05.663+05:30I was nodding throughout your post as I have heard...I was nodding throughout your post as I have heard most of these things myself. I get the same "you don't look married but" in different tones. Although no one ever pointed out to me if I am a good wife or love my husband, I did get quite a lot of speeches on wearing bindis, toe rings and sindoor. I do like to doll up with these once in a while when I go to family weddings but I can never wear it daily or to work as I don't feel myself. I keep up the appearance when I go to my in-laws but it is now a well known fact that no one can make me do those when I am at my own and after 3 years they have finally stopped asking me if my bindi fell off :p. To my benefit my husband too isn't very fond of the sanskari bahu avatar and doesn't care about it!maithilihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13026338900563080890noreply@blogger.com