Vijay, my ex-lover, pointed the gun at my husband's head. I had left Vijay three years ago and he was thirsty for revenge. Tarun closed his eyes, but opened them when he heard the shot. Vijay lay dead before him. My hands were shivering as I slowly dropped the gun.
~ Soumya
Too short and abrupt - you could have done a lot more to use the potential of the theme!
ReplyDeleteThe theme was 55 fiction, not revenge. It is meant to be short. This is exactly how I wanted it!
DeleteCould have done better !!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Will try to do better next time :)
DeleteWithin the limited no. of words(F-55er) you have done well.
ReplyDeleteGlad you understand this madam. Thank you :)
DeleteWow. Intense.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteIf you had added five more words it would have become a wonderful 55 Word Fiction.
ReplyDeleteIt had the interesting twist at the end.
Thanks for the suggestion KP. I appreciate it. I wanted it to be under 55 this time though.
DeleteYou convey a story in just few lines..Nice
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteGood one :)
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
DeleteWow! I had tried writing a 55 fiction once, did not work for me :)
ReplyDeleteLimitation on use of words makes me sort of claustrophobic!
GBU
Arti
Me too, that's why its challenging :)
DeleteI thought it was a continuation of one of your previous posts - Dishkyaoon.. Searched for the post and found out the names were not the same..
ReplyDeleteGood one.. :) :)
I was hoping that someone would notice the similarities. You are awesome :D
DeleteThanks dearie :)
:) :) :)
DeleteThis is similar to something you had written right..?? I love the 55-fiction genre. Few words and lot to the reader's imagination. :-)
ReplyDeleteOh yeah , much similar to Diskyaoon :D. This genre is awesome and challenging!
DeleteA closure, finally :D
ReplyDeleteFinally! :D
Delete