Not Just Blah Blah Blah

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How do you both pass time? What do guys talk about? Looks like you guys are forever in the honeymoon stage *wink* *wink*. Especially since you don't have kids.

I've lost count of the number of times my partner and I have been asked this. If there one thing that has kept my partner and me going from day one, are our conversations. For me, as much as love, trust and respect is important in a relationship, more vital than that would be the power of conversation. If you cannot talk to your partner or have to think twice before talking to them, then I'm sorry and I say this with utmost sincerity, you need to reevaluate your relationship. Conversations should not be limited to just work, domesticity and/or children. There is so much more in the world to talk about and so much more to being partners and not just a husband, wife, father or a mother.

I'm an ambivert who is often mistaken for an extrovert. I'm someone who believes in meaningful conversation and not gossip in general. Of course, I do indulge in some gossip from time to time, but that cannot be the only conversation I have with someone. Of all the topics that I like talking about, people have my least interest. This holds good for all relationships, not just what I share with my partner. I have some of the best conversations with my pup during our walks. I talk, he listens and understands and reacts. Other people walking around look at me like I'm a weirdo, but that time that I spend with him is special and so meaningful. When it comes to being companions or partners, conversations are of utmost importance.

Conversation is the heart and soul of any relationship. It's the bridge that connects two people, allowing them to build something more enduring than physical attraction. Sure, chemistry might spark things off, but it’s the deep, unfiltered conversations that sustain the connection. When we find someone we can talk to about everything under the sun; food, travel, books, and the quirks of life itself, it feels like stumbling onto something magical, almost timeless. Talking to someone who genuinely listens and responds becomes a joy, not just a routine.

Food, for instance, is an excellent topic to bond over, as there’s a strange intimacy in it. Chatting about favorite dishes, recipes, or memorable meals uncovers layers of who we are and where we've been. The stories behind what we crave or the comfort foods we grew up with often reveal much about our childhood, our culture, our journey together and what makes us feel at home. Imagine a partner who remembers that you love Vietnamese coconut coffee because it reminds you of a past trip, or one who learns to make your favorite dish just because it brings you joy. These conversations about simple things can connect us in ways that no physical interaction could match.

Travel - Oh, how it fuels conversation! Even when we’re not hopping on a plane, the dreams of destinations and adventures create endless talks. Travel opens our minds and hearts, and sharing travel stories with a partner can spark excitement about the future and nostalgia for the past. I’ve shared moments with my partner imagining all the places we’ll explore together or recounting trips since the day we met, and in doing so, we get to see how each other’s mind works, what mattered most to us and how we approach the world individually and together. The way someone talks about their favorite city or bucket-list destination reveals something deeper than just a preference; it's a glimpse of how they see the world.

Books and movies are another beautiful language in relationships. Discussing what we’re reading or watching lets us dig into each other’s minds. Whether we’re debating the meaning of a plot twist or just laughing over a ridiculous scene, these conversations bring out our personalities and ideas. My partner hadn't watched most of my favorite movies before he met me and the joy of watching them together and discussing them later was something else. There's a charm in seeing how your partner interprets a character or a storyline; it’s a window into their soul, their values, and their perspective on life. These conversations don’t fade away like fleeting moments; they become part of our shared story, layered and nuanced with every book or movie we discuss.

This is why, to me, conversation is so much deeper than sex. Don’t get me wrong, intimacy has its place, but conversation creates a connection that grows roots. It’s the glue that sticks us together even when the thrill is expected to wear off. Meaningful conversations are more thrilling than anything else. When we age, and as maturity kicks in, it’s the person who can make us laugh, think, and share openly who will still feel like our partner. Physical attraction ebbs and flows, but the joy of conversation only deepens with time.

If you’re lucky enough to find someone with whom you can talk about anything, you’ve struck gold. If they have a good sense of humor, that's the jackpot! It’s an endless adventure, one that doesn’t need exotic locations or elaborate plans. Just two people sharing their thoughts, dreams, and everyday stories, building a relationship that feels both safe and wildly interesting. 

So, here’s to conversations, small and big, light and deep, silly and serious, the ones that make us feel truly known, loved, cherished and understood.