Santa's Trial

Best & Worst of 2009


  1. Kaminey
  2. Dev D
  3. 3 Idiots
  4. Avatar
  5. Paa
  6. Wake up! Sid
  7. Luck by Chance
  8. New York
  1. Love Aaj Kal
  2. Blue
  3. Delhi 6
  4. Kambakkht Ishq
  5. London Dreams
  6. Kurbaan

  1. Rasiya - Kurbaan
  2. Aare, Aare - New York
  3. Iktara - Wake Up! Sid
  4. Aaj Din Chaddeya - Love aaj Kal
  5. Mudi Mudi - Paa
  6. Pehli baar Mohabbat - Kaminey
  7. Rehna Tu - Delhi 6
  8. Tu Jaane na and Tera hone laga hu - Ajab Prem ki Ghazab Kahani
  9. Rabba - Main aurr Mrs Khanna

Well music is music. No dislikes as such.


Find and Replace, is a boon to me when it comes to my coding. If only, things were this simple in real life. Find misery and replace it with happiness. Things would have been so simple then. But, at the end of the day, things just summarise up to the choices we have in life. Its always a matter of choice. But the latest choice would have to replace the existing one. Seems simple and easy? Nope, I beg to differ.

My friends call me butti, as in a basket. A basket filled with choices which I refuse to acknowledge. I don't understand, what is the point in having choices when you have no place to fit it in. I stand by the words of Mr. Forrest Gump. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you get. When you get one, you need to get tired of it, to pick another.

Only if the concerned place is empty, you can try to refill it. But some people refuse to see it. They think that I'm crazy or something, but when I'm not ready for something, it means I'm not. People think that I'm hurting myself here. There is not an ounce of truth to it. I'm so very happy as I am now. I'm a carefree soul and yes, I do get bored of things and routines very easily. The fact that I want to quit the techie field just after 2 years to pursue something totally different vouches for it. But people are not things. We cant replace them as and when we like. When someone is totally gone, then you can do anything you want. Else, all you can do is wait for it to go away. Finding and replacing is very very easy. Can be done anywhere anytime. But what about the after effects. The last thing I was is for the next guy in my life to be a rebound material for the first one.

Right now, I'm in a very good phase of life. Looking at finer things and am appreciating the smaller things in life. Life is beautiful the way it is and I have no complaints and no regrets.

Go Back

I want to go back to the time,
  • When, "getting high" meant "on a swing".
  • When, "drinking" meant "apple juice".
  • When, "dad" was the only "hero".
  • When, "love" was "mom's hug".
  • When, "dad's shoulder" was "the highest place on earth".
  • When, "worst enemies" were "your siblings".
  • When, the only thing that could "hurt" were "skinned knees".
  • When, the only things that were "broken" were your "toys".
  • And when, "goodbyes" meant only "till tomorrow".

High, Low & The Learnings

Its now time to summarize what all happened in 2009. As the miserable year finally comes to an end, I cant help but thank it for some of the amazing learning's I've had this year. Lows have been plenty, but there has been a few highs as well. Lets see what all is significant.

  1. Mental agony, therapist visits, the feeling that I was a gone case during the first half of this year.
  2. Not knowing how to prioritise stuff, and putting others before me.
  3. Made several pathetic decisions, dint know how to handle things, did all wrong things to win someone back, and finally ended up as a complete loser.
  4. The death of my 19 year old cousin, was a major blow.
  5. Realised the true intentions of a few people, who only wanted to manipulate me to get their way. I've never been this hurt before.
  6. Did not heed to others opinions and stuck stubbornly to mine, which turned out to be so damn wrong.
  7. Gave away my original 'The Godfather' book, to someone and cant remember who it was.
  8. Reading and self time took a backseat, and work was all I wanted to do to keep my mind occupied.
  9. Hurt a lot of people, unintentionally.
  10. I still cant forget him.

  1. Doing really good at work, and I am at a secure place.
  2. Found great friends whom I can bank upon.
  3. Started my Blog, got an invitation from Bloggertown and won their first contest.
  4. Decided to let go of a few things, and so far have succeeded.
  5. Went to Mangalore with friends, and had a gala time.
  6. Saw '3 Idiots' first day, first show, which added to my learning's.
  7. Became religious, which I feel is actually responsible for these highs.
  8. Put on weight to fulfil my Mom's wish and am in a fit shape now.
  9. Finally, I'm at peace within myself and I have everything I want.
  10. He's still a part of my life.
  1. The more you run after something, the more it runs away from you. Just let it be, times change and so do people.
  2. Never trust anyone, but yourself.
  3. The past is only a guiding post, not a hitching post.
  4. Situations influence people. But the decision to take it positively or negatively is only yours.
  5. Everything happens for a reason, and everything happens for good.
  6. Everyone has their day in the sun. Life is a blank sheet, its up to you to fill it.
  7. Nothing is more precious than a strong will.
  8. Hope and faith in God, is like oxygen and water. I live by it now.
  9. If things are meant to be, it will be.
  10. The feeling of belonging to someone is natural. Nothing wrong or insane about it.
  11. Just mould yourself to adapt to situations. Life is not sugar coated always.
  12. Have an opinion. But respect the fact that others have it too.
  13. Always try to better yourself. That's the real competition.
  14. Its always better to let go, than to hold on to something that painful.
  15. Some bad things have to happen, for you to realise how great the good things are.
  16. Learn from your mistakes. Remember the action and forget the source. Nothing hurts more than reminiscing about your mistakes.
  17. Smile. Always. There is absolutely no need for others to know what you're going through. If they truly care, they'll sense it.
  18. Its perfectly okay to be selfish sometimes and think only about oneself. Sometimes.
  19. What works for others may not work for you. Similarly what works for you may not work for others. Just stick on to what works for you.
  20. Ignorance is bliss. Its unfortunate that I'm not ignorant. If I were, I would never have had any problems.
  21. Nothing lasts forever. Everything that has a beginning, has an end.
  22. Time doesn't heal anything. You're your own doctor.
  23. Somethings always exist. As long as there is someone around to remember it. Don't let it exist.
  24. Its either eternal hell or eternal heaven. There is no place in between.
  25. Love, happens only once.

The 3D Experience

Finally, watched the much hyped 'Avatar' today. I wanted to see what the whole hype about 3D was. It was an amazing experience. To start of with we were sitting in the second row from front, with these huge glasses, that made us feel that we were actually in Pandora. The first movie I have even seen in 3D and surely the most expensive one. Its a good movie, with amazing graphics. But the storyline is really weak and cliched. As in 'Troy', here too a woman is responsible for the clash between 2 races which leads to the down fall of one. Seriously, love makes you do crazy things! Be it losing yourself, or going against every other thing in life and sometimes life itself.

Sam Worthington who plays the ex-marine Jake Sully, is an amazing actor. And he's really really cute! I wonder why I had never heard of him until today. If there is a heaven on earth, it surely would be Pandora. Minus, the huge 6 legged beasts of course. That place is beautiful and has all the colors known to man. The floating mountains were quite a sight and the huge dragon like birds were breathtakingly beautiful. The storyline is very very weak. The marine, Jake is sent in an Avatar form to Pandora, to convince the natives to move and let the humans retrieve some precious element on which Pandora is resting upon. The Avatar, then falls in love with a native woman and cant betray her. So he goes against the people who sent him to this place in order to save the natives. That's all the story is.

The movie is worth watching, for its graphics alone. There were times when I actually felt the wind blowing my hair and the leaves touching my face. 3D indeed was 3D :-). The movie shows why it took 1200 Crores to make it. The 8 feet tall natives look really good with sleek bodies. The way they emote is fabulous and I wonder how Cameron got it that perfectly. After 'Titanic', which was all about the love, here's another master piece which is all about graphics alone. A must watch yes, but only to gain a 3d experience.

Merry Christmas Everyone

Ho Ho Ho!!
Keep the smile, leave the tear,
Think of joy, forget the fear,
Hold the laugh and be joyous,
Cos Santa is here, to wish you,
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Aal Izzz Well.!!

Gimme some sunshine,
Gimme some rain,
Gimme another chance,
I wanna grow up once again.

Lovely movie. A must watch for all engineers. Aamir rocks!!

A perfect year in reel life, if not in real life. Started off with 'Dev D' and the finale with '3 Idiots' and 'Kaminey' in between. Great! Merry Christmas indeed! :o)

Dec 23rd '09

Woooo... Today has been the second best day of this year for me. The first being exactly a month ago, Nov 23rd. So just 2 best days among the 365. Not so good. But I have a feeling that Dec 23rd onwards, things are gonna be great. Atleast the last week of the year rocks if not the rest of it.

Today was a whole celebration day. I had hell loads of work to finish, but had to run here and there for all the programs. My heels snapped, feet hurt but still there was no stopping. It was so much fun and totally worth the pain. We started of with the secret santa disclosure. Mine turned out to be my team lead, and was overwhelmed by the kind words he spoke about me :-). Each person had to describe their secret friend using a vegetable, which was hilarious. A whole bunch of brinjals, cauli flowers, chillies, drumsticks, tomatoes, pumpkins came out!! :D. I was sadly described as a coconut :-(. Reason being that I was from Kerala. Damn, and people ask me why I hate to accept the fact that I'm a Mall!!

Next, was the pot luck lunch. About 2 tables filled with different types of delicious food. It took each one of us about 2 hours to try every item. My veg biryani (made by mom ofcourse) was quite a hit! We had every single thing. Starters, appetisers, main course and desserts and drinks. Each about 6-8 types. Man, what a lunch! I have such a great team and the fun we have is ultimate. Next I had to rush back to my work. But then came the treasure hunt and dress me up contests. 2 members out of our team of 6 went missing suddenly and so we had to pull out people from meeting rooms to complete the team :D. We were the first ones to find the treasure! We sure had a hell of a time looking for a brown lipstick, which was nicely perched in eoe's bag. That we won.

Next was the 'Dress me Up', where one of the team members had to be a model and the others would dress them up to look like someone famous using only paper and tape. No scissors even. I only remember laughing during this contest as we transformed our lil EOE into a fairy. She was such a cute sight!!! :D. Her perfect fit gown, tiara, and her magic wand won us the first prize here too. It was so much fun. All the prizes were chocolates and we were loaded with them. Tomorrow's gonna be more fun with the DJ party n all. Cant wait for it. I hope the remaining days of 2009 also pass with celebrations alone.

To Santa, With Love

Dear Santa, I have hung up my stocking and here is my wish list. 2009 has been a terrible year and I just hope 2010 is a tad better atleast. Here are the things that I want for 2010.

  • Good health and peace, for my parents.
  • A smart handsome groom for my sister, who better keep her happy.
  • Eternal happiness and everything he wants, for the boy in 'About a Boy'.
  • A wonderful future for Priya and her better half.
  • Only good things, for my girls Dumms, Mangu, Pree and Swetha.
  • A 'Vamp-iyer' boy for EOE. Or permission to marry a smiley :-).
  • Entry into IIMB and the Nath house, for Prink.
  • A chamy free year, for Resmi.
  • A non serious boy, with a bike and good weather, for Divs (My Partner :P).
  • Professional high and a homely bride who meets all his specifications, for Aru.
  • And peace n joy, for all my other friends.
I don't need much Santa. I don't expect next year to be exceptionally good. If bad things are meant to happen, let it. Just give me the strength and courage to get past it. And I want all the people mentioned above to be in my life for ever. That's not asking for too much is it? :-)


Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance.
The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

Frustrated, Upset, Angry

Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real,
Mad because I don't know how you feel,
Upset because we can't make it right,
Sad because I need you day and night,
Angry because you won't take my hand,
Aggravated because you don't understand.
That..... What am I going to do without you?


Okay, this may seem a little outdated, but I saw 'Kuch Kuch Hota Hai' right from the start to the end for the first time ever today. Had seen it a million times before, but never at a whole stretch. I liked it. I liked it very much in fact. Its silly and mature too. Its hard now to think of Shahrukh as a college student, but in the movie he pulls it off really well. Kajol's a charmer and here she rocks. I wonder how this had never made it to my movie list. When it came as top one in my friends list, I only laughed it off. But now I know, its actually good. Not great, but a good enough love story. But honestly, I would have preferred someone else in Rani's role though. I was scared that her 4 inch long skirts may rip off anytime. Thank fully it dint. Oh, I just loved Anupam Kher and Archana Puransingh. Kajol and Shahrukh are the ultimate couple of bollywood. Cant wait to watch their next, 'My name is Khan'. The promos look supremely promising. Hopes up for this one!

Heights of Narcissism

Its true that all narcissists bond very well and are the best of friends. Its kinda surprising though, how these self obsessed people find time to be friends with someone else. As they say, 'Birds of the same feather, flock together'. As I was going through the profile of a person on my friend list, I saw once of his friends had this tagline. It said "If you like me, then raise your hands. If you don't, then raise your standards."

What the hell. How obsessed can one get about themselves. My friend (okay, wouldn't want to call him that now) is himself one. Nice to see that his friends are of his same category :-/. I mean, yes I like myself and am proud of who I am, but I don't go blowing my own trumpet everywhere. I wonder who comes up with such taglines. Atleast if your worth it, put it up. If you have it, flaunt it. Else, its always best to blend with the background. The girl who had put this up, well what do I say. The only second look that she'll get, is the one that looks back at her from the mirror!

Book List

Started with 'Thief of Souls'. Arthur Hailey series next, followed by the rest of Archer. And maybe next will start on the Twilight saga. Atleast to make my friends eoe and prink happy I need to do that :D.

P.S. I Love You

Just saw 'P.S. I Love You' for the nth time. Surprisingly I dint cry.Either I'm moving on very well or I'm so used to the crap that there are no more feelings left to bother me.

Feelings have subsided,
Things seem fine,
I've come to accept that,
You're no longer mine.
I'm just happy to see,
That you're doing fine
The happiness you have,
Is now equivalent to mine.
Being loved by you once,
Is a matter of pride
It no more matters,
If I cant be your bride.
There still is a void,
But it will get filled with time,
It may take long to get over,
Cos love is almost like a crime.
I'm halfway through,
Soon I'll be there,
I'll change my views,
And will find one who will care.
I just have to let go,
Thats the only thing thats hard,
Cos no matter what,
It still is you!
I just want to see you laugh,
And never once cry,
I'm surely gonna move on,
Trust me, I'm gonna try.
But its really important,
For me to see you happy,
To see the smile on your face,
To see joy in all your days.
Cos, no matter what,
This will always be true,

P.S. I love you!

Not Bad, Mr. Bhagat!

I liked 'Five Point Someone'. Finally I thought an Indian author who can write about simple things well. The next two were extremely disappointing. 'One night at a call centre' was good. Until the "God calling" part just tore the story apart. The next one, '3 mistakes of my life', with the back drop of cricket, forced me to think if this one was worse or the call centre thing. I had vowed never to go back to his writing. But when half of my friends insisted on me reading it, I gave it a shot. Its a real short book which I could finish in a day or two so I thought even if it sucked, I wouldn't have wasted much time on it.

Its not a bad book. Its not great either. But definitely much better than his last two. '2 States' is about his marriage to a South Indian girl. He is a Punjabi btw. So how they fall in love ends within the first 2 chapters. Next comes how he tries to win her parents, and how she wins over his. Its really cute how love triumphs and they get married. I guess the joy of marrying the one you love is a totally different feeling altogether.

The difference between South Indians and North Indians has been on for ages. Its really hard to get over it, but there seems to be a bridge coming along now. For North Indians, South Indians will always remain 'Madrasi's' and for South Indians, they always remain 'Northies' irrespective of whether they come from Kashmir, Tripura, Rajasthan or Maharashtra. Each one thinks they are better and nothing can be done about that. How 2 different cultures meet, blend and culminate into a marriage is what the book is about. Its a very good attempt. So any South Indian, who is married to or is in a relationship with a North Indian, better read this book. You may see yourself in it.

Irrespective of the happy ending, the books rings a LOUD warning bell. The way the Punjabi parents treat a Tamilian girl and how her parents treat the punjabi guy is kinda scary. They put up with it, manage to impress the others' parents and get married. This is a typical filmy scene and kind of surprises you that such things can happen in real life. And considering that this book is about his marriage, we know that such things can happen. I seriously don't believe in caste, creed or culture. If I love the guy, I'll surely marry him. I wouldn't care if he's a Malayali or if he's from any other part of the country or the world. For me its love that matters and I'm sure my parents wont have any issue with the guy I bring as long as they are convinced that he will keep their little daughter happy.

The book captures all aspects about 2 families meeting, their opinions and most importantly their differences. Instead of pointing fingers, making fun of the others' culture, they just need to respect each others culture and know that their kids have made their choice and they need to support it. The entire scene where the guy's dad (who is hated by his son), calls up the girls family to sort out things secretly was a scene out of a movie. The book could have done without this though. But if this was indeed what happened, then cheers! I'm happy for you, and your dad.

All in all its a good book. Surely worth a read!


It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. And the charming are nearly extinct!

My Next Life


Why do people you hardly or don't even know want to be friends with you on facebook or orkut? When you reject an invitation thrice, don't they get the hint? The next time I login. there it is again. The only thing that does change, is the number of 's' in "Pleassssse, be my friend". I guess some people just want to live in denial, or they have taken the King Bruce's story way too seriously.!


I have now come to believe that, 'The Past is only a guiding post, not a hitching post'.

Hide in the woods, Tiger!

Infidelity, hypocrisy and lies. There are the three things that I hate the most. Tiger Woods, what do I say about the man. I mean, what dint he have. A flourishing career, an infinite bank balance, a beautiful wife and 2 adorable kids. That would be the legitimate ones. Why would he want to throw away all this. A shocker indeed. Looks like he was out to prove his delivery of high performance. If you know what I mean :P. Not one, not two but innumerable affairs? Only a Tiger could do that. I know the golf course says 18 holes, but I think he had some misunderstanding here :P.

How can he possibly look into the eye of his wife. I cant believe that, that woman is actually contemplating to take him back. Excuse me, have you no self respect here Mrs, Woods? The kids surely deserve a better father and not the one who goes laying anything in sight. Sheesh, I could just kill him with my bare hands. You crash your car, hide or take an indefinite break, you will have to pay for your sins sooner or later.

Until then, hide Tiger! Hide in the woods!

Simple yet Powerful

After 2 years, I walked into Vaibhav theatre. These 2 years I was always a multiplex person so dint bother with the single screens. After much cajoling from my sister I decided to go there to watch 'Rocket Singh - Salesman of the year'. The place still feels the same and I was drowned in nostalgia. That theatre has given me so many wonderful moments and all that came flooding back today. So went I walked in I felt really nice and I had a big smile on my face. I was just hoping that the movie is good. It was.

I kept wondering why this movie was not all promoted. Yash Raj, Shimit Amin together again after 'Chak de' but absolutely no promotion. When I saw the ratings in the paper I decided to watch it. After all the work I was doing, I did deserve a break. The movie is good. Not great. Really simple and simplicity oozes out of every frame. The movie screams 'Honesty is the best policy'. Ranbir plays the same role he did in 'Wake up Sid' and 'Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani'. A loser who turns out to be the hero at the end. He looks really good as the sardar salesman and his face portrays innocence to perfection. He looks amazing in the sexily cut formals (Not better than the one I have in mind :-). His acting has always been good but now I'd like to see him in different roles. After 3 same kinda roles its high time.

The rest of the cast is impressive. Minus Shazahn Padamsee. She looks too young and doesn't have a single acting bone in her. Gauhar Khan is good. The rest of the office crew is simple and anyone can easily identify with them. This movie is surely worth a watch. Simplicity at its best.


Maybe..... we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe..... it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe..... the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

Maybe..... you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

Maybe..... the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe..... the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe..... happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe..... you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe..... there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

Maybe..... giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe..... you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

"Life is only travelled ONCE; Today’s MOMENT becomes Tomorrow’s MEMORY.
Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the GIFT of LIFE is LIFE itself."


Although Thanksgiving is long gone on 26th November, I dint get a chance to say thanks to the most important things in my life. I had the turkey, but forgot to say thanks, so here it goes.

I thank God, for giving me the following.

  • Parents and Sister : I have the greatest parents in the world. Always supportive and have been there for me through thick and thin. My sister for standing by my side when things went wrong, and all of them for pampering me and spoiling me with what ever I want.
  • IBM and Vodafone UK : Thanks to these guys I have a job today and am financially independent. I can have anything I want at any time and my job has giving me great security and recognition.
  • Internet : My second best past time. Internet has given me my blog, which is my open diary. Without facebook, orkut, torrent how could I have met my old school friends and how would I download movies?
  • Carbs and Proteins : For helping me gain weight when I wanted to and making me fit. Now that I have reached equilibrium, I think you should stop. Please stop. Okay reminds me, I thank my exercising equipment too :-).
  • These people : Jeffery Archer, Jodi Picoult, Danielle Steel, Arthur Hailey, Mitch Albom, Khalid Hosseini, Jhumpa Lahiri, Monica Ali for writing amazing books and keeping me engrossed. This is my only life apart from work. Also thanks to Salman Rushdie, Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan, Tuhin Sinha and Chetan Bhagat for making me realise how crappy your writing is and I would never want to pick your books again. Indian Authors will never learn :-/.
  • 2009 : Although it has been a tough year that I would like to forget, This year has taught me a lot of important lessons. This year surely will be the turning point for my growing up.
  • Kabab King : Being a hardcore chickenatarian, I need to have chicken almost once a day, except for thursdays when I fast. Kabab King in my office has the most delicious chicken delicacies and usually forms the staple meal for me and my friends.
  • Coffee : Oh what would I do without you. With 4-5 cups a day, I'm a supreme caffeine addict. I need coffee to work hard, to rattle my brains, to have fun with friends, while reading a book and the first thing when I wake up. Again, thursdays are an exception cos I'm on a detox diet then and am not allowed milk products. This is one addiction I never wanna let go. Its bad for my migraine I know but still. When smokers smoke knowing that its bad for their lungs, why cant I. After all its just caffeine and not cocaine. Okay, no pun intended here.
  • The Elephant Man and Paa: For teaching me two of life's most important lessons.
  • My wonderful friends : All those who have stood by me when I needed support and have brought a smile onto my face when I was low. I love you guys.
  • Feelings : Times have changed, but this is one thing that will never change. Thanks for that.
  • French Manicure : For making my fingers and toes look neat. Okay you guys can laugh now.
  • My Doctors : For treating my migraines and for listening when I opened my heart out.
  • Prayers : God has answered almost all my prayers and I'm satisfied today. I have no complaints with life anymore. I have the things I wanted and the things which were messing me up are all out.
  • Me : By giving me a life, God has gifted me an worthwhile experience. I love myself for being myself. Blunt, crazy, curt whatever I am. I still am what I am and I'm proud of it.
Happy belated Thanksgiving everyone.

Male Advice

Click on it to see a bigger image. Phew, Men..!!


New obsession. Twins :P. Everyone around are having twin babies and I cant help but wonder how amazing that would be. I want two kids after all, so I might as well as have them at once. No need to put the body through the same thing twice and still better, its cost effective. Hmm... Maybe someday..... :-)

How to break Bad News

At dawn the telephone rings.

"Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo your country house caretaker"

"Ah yes, Mr. Arnaldo. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died"

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the competition?"

"That's the one."

"Darn! That's such a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. Oh well...what did he die from?"

"From eating rotten meat."

"Rotten meat? Who was so mean as to give him meat?"

"Nobody. He ate the meat of one of the dead horses."

"Dead horse? What dead horse Mr. Arnaldo?"

"Why, those pure breed ones that you had, sir. They died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house! A candle fell and then the curtain caught on fire."

"What the...!!! But theres electricity at the house!!!! What was the candle for???"

"For the funeral."


"Your mother's! She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her.

Pun Intended

Considering the fact that, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and You Tube are that important to people, I couldn't help wondering why not put all these features on a single site.

Question : If there was one like that, What would it be called??
Answer : My face you twit!!! :P


Some people can stoop down to dangerous levels, to get their things done. Its atrocious how people can just forget themselves, compromise on their self respect just to get something done. The number of times people change their colors would be more than the number of colors in the rainbow. One minute they do it and the next minute its denial. Bloody hell, how can such people live with themselves I don't understand. Even if it involves an ounce of profit, people would do anything to get it.

I've been told time and again, that its a big bad world out there. Better learn to live else you cant survive. Now that I'm there, I'm shocked. People change their opinions as and when they like. To get something, even if you have to crush your friend, they do it. Either I'm way too foolish or way too naive to get these things. Lots to learn in order to survive peacefully.

I liked this PIC alot

I don't know why, but I just loved this pic. Click on it to see it bigger.

The Other Side

When I was going through a rough phase and people expected me to recuperate soon, I ignored all their talk and was content being depressed and disappointed. I always thought that people around me can see my pain but not feel it. I was content being locked up, visiting shrinks and looking for places where I could find any form of happiness. But, now that my friend is going through the same thing, this is not how I feel. I want to knock the unhappiness off her and want to see her happy soon. If only I had realised it earlier maybe things would have been different. The other side may always not be as bad as you think it is.

The grass is always greener on the other side, goes the saying. It sure is. The other side of life (I don't know why I'm thinking of Sheldon here :-), is much simpler and beautiful than it appears to be. No matter how much I curse this year, but this one has been the major learning lesson of my life. Looking at the other side, i just realised that I have grown up so much in a year. These experiences are gonna last with me for a lifetime.

It always been human nature, to want for something more. No harm in desiring for things. But just make sure that what you're desiring for is actually worth it.!! The way you view things may not be the same way, others do. Everyone has an opinion about everything. And they usually stink. But you just need to stick to yours.

I have now come to believe that you always have to wait for good things in life. Make the wait worthwhile and not painful. I always ask my friend, why cant everyone be like us? She says, if everyone was like us, then the world would have been a perfect place and nothing exciting would happen. Cheers to that. Life is like a coin, it has two sides always. From either side, the other one always feels appealing. It can be, it may not be. I have always maintained that for me, everything is either black or white. Nothing grey. All this while I was living in a grey zone, now that I'm back into the white part things seem clear.

Things and situations are never gonna be the same. They have a life of their own and they flip and turn as and when they like. Today's joy maybe tomorrow's sorrow and viceversa. Like my nephew says, 'Everyone has their day in the sun, its not dark always'. It always been there, everypart of life will always have an other side.


Things are going really smooth and exactly the way I want it to. The change in me is finally paying off and I can now see things clearly and am heading towards the right direction. Life has always been good and positive. But the clutter in my head refused to view it. Now, everything is sorted out and I am very happy with life :-). Since a few days, only positive things have been happening. Recognition at work, end of troubles, giving life a second chance, true friends and loads of chocolates. Things are going so well and considering the story of my life, I kinda fear that this could be the silence before the thunderstorm. But one thing I know, be it any kinda storm I can pass through it. No matter what comes my way, I know have the strength to get past it.

Can you sing a song

Can you sing a song, to wake me up,
Can you sing a song, to cheer me.
Can you sing a song, to make me fell better,
Can you sing a song, to show you're there for me.

Can you sing a song, when you look at me,
Can you sing a song, when you hold me.
Can you sing a song, when you feel me,
Can you sing a song, when you love me.

Can you sing a song, when I'm down,
Can you sing a song, when I see only gloom.
Can you sing a song, when I want to be comforted,
Can you sing a song, as we walk under the moon.

Can you sing a song, for each day together,
Can you sing a song, for the smiles we shared.
Can you sing a song, for the fun we had,
Can you sing a song, for the times you cared.

Can you sing a song, when you think of me,
Can you sing a song, when I weep and cry.
Can you sing a song, when you walk away,
Can you sing a song, when you say goodbye.


Noone until today has been able to describe 'Happiness'. What does it mean? Can it be classified? Or simplified? Okay, let me try to simplify the classification. Henceforth for me, Happiness is classified into 3 types : -

  1. Dark Chocolate.
  2. Liqueur Chocolate.
  3. White Chocolate.

Maa.. All the way

Paa - A very rare father-son, son-father story, actually was a mother-son story. Highly publicised, this one actually stands up to the expectations. Amitabh proves that he is indeed the legend of Indian Cinema. As Auro, the gawky, bald 12 year old suffering from progeria he is splendid and sometimes its hard to believe that he is actually Amitabh. He oozes blood and flesh into the character and makes it a memorable one. You laugh with him and enjoy his 'potty' jokes. Not once would you actually pity this guy. His introduction scene in the movie, his stooped walk, nasal twang, his dance, you carry all this back with you once you leave the theatre. The legend once again has excelled.

Vidya Balan looks beautiful as his mother and the chemistry they share is the best part of the movie. Sadly, her clothes in the flashback scenes are pitiful and she needs to get ready to receive some more flak. Apart from that, her saree clad gynaecologist look is good and she plays her part to perfection. Reminded me of her Parineeta days. She is a wonderful actress and she needs to stick to such meaningful roles rather than glam roles. She can never pull that off.

Abhishek, looks good. Yeah this is one thing that I thought I'd never tell. But he does look really good as the kurta clad politician. His acting has always been good but here its uber cool. He gets to know the truth about his son only during the last half n hour of the movie and I dont think thats enough to call the movie Paa. Vidya surely deserves credit for this one. The person who stands out next to Amitabh is Arundati Nag who plays Vidya's mom. A single strong woman who stands by her daughter when she decides to have a baby out of wedlock. Fondly called 'Bum' by her grandson Auro, her chemistry with her grandson is remarkable. She's surely made Bangalore proud with this one.

Overall, except that dramatic wedding scene in the hospital, Paa is definitely worth a watch and you surely will take back something from this one. It proves that Amitabh was and will always be the Shehanshah of Bollywood.

Today's Fortune

My fortune on Orkut today, "The course of True Love never runs smooth".

The Waiting Game

There are another 26 days left for 2009 to end, and I cant wait for it. This year has clearly been the worst in my life. I hated everything that happened this year, right from the beginning until a month back. I just wish that this year could just get erased from my life. Nothing, nothing good has happened this year that I would like to remember. Things seemed to be getting better at a point last month and they still are. I have no complaints now as such, but I would have liked to have a happy 10 months instead of a minutely happy 2 months. God's way of making it up to you needs improvement I guess. I want to start afresh and would definitely want good things to happen to me in the forth coming year atleast. That's it, this one has been the worst and what can be worse than the worst?

2010 better be good. I've had my share of miseries and pain this whole year. Next year I wish to see some(if not great) joy. I have learnt a lot from this year and have made a promise to myself to never repeat my mistakes again. I have left behind a lot of people this year and stuck to a very important few. I don't know why but now I have come to believe that, the lesser people in your life, the less complicated it is. It seem to be working well for me and I know I don't need those people anymore. Absolutely no offense meant to them.

If not anything else, 2009 has taught me patience. Which now seems to be my virtue :-). I've seen so much this year, failures at work, family issues, falling sick, wedding talk, talking to prospective grooms, clingy people, badly dressed people, broken hearts, counsellor visits and worse, death. The death of my 19 year old cousin was the final blow. There are many times when I just wanted to break down and give it all up. But there was something inside me that kept telling me to move on and that there will be a better tomorrow. I was strong and decided that I wanted to see a better day and that has kept me going till now. If you cant avoid the realities of life, you might as well as accept it. Things are now getting better, and I'm sure its only gonna be positive from now on.

One more thing that this year has taught me was never to have expectations. Walk in with a blank slate and fill in as you encounter things. That's what gonna be my resolution number 1. The more you expect, more are the chances of disappointment. Don't want the same old shit again. 2009 has been a hard learning lesson. I finally got to know what true love means, saw the true colours of people, realised how manipulative and shrewd people can get to have their way, and figured out that if one has to be happy, he/she must live for themselves. That's the only way one can be happy. Considering the number of learning lessons I've had, I now reckon that this year wasn't all that bad. Atleast in some way or the other it has helped me grow and surely made me a better person. Also, 2009 was the year I first started blogging. So here we go, we have one good thing that happened this year..!!:-) (Atleast I hope so!).

I can

I just realised that I can write poems on stuff other than 'Love' too. Yeah they do have a flavour of love in it, but still the main focus is atleast on something else. Yay, I must be growing up..!! :P

To Believe

To believe, is to know that
Each day is a blessing.
To make you realise that,
There is always a new beginning.

To believe, is to find strength
To pass through life.
To find the courage,
And to work hard and strive.

To believe, is to see the love
In the eyes of an innocent child,
In the veins of an ageing hand,
And the learning's that it has had.

To believe, is to know the value
Of a loving soul
Of a nurturing heart,
And how to feel whole.

To believe, is to see cupid,
Each time you feel love,
To hear violins play,
To see joy come your way.

To believe, is to trust
The ones who are close,
To follow your instincts
And know when to close the doors.

To believe, is to pray
Today tomorrow and each day,
To know that someones watching you,
Constantly, come what may.

To believe, is to know that
we are not alone,
That life is a gift,
And this is the time to cherish it.

To believe, is to believe in you
That you can control the mass,
If something seems to go wrong,
Just believe, this too shall pass.

Life in 4 Photographs

This was an email sent to me. I sat reading it 6 times back to back. Amazing.

First Pic.

Break of Dawn -- New lease of life, embarking upon a new voyage.
A Child Flying Kite -- Young Blood, aspiring to fly high with enormous zest and zeal. Because you know, sky is the limit.
A Small Tree -- Need to nurture.
Two Birds Hovering Above -- There are people around to take ample care of you, you are actually carefree.

Second Pic.

Daylight -- You are almost halfway through in this voyage called life.
Couple -- You have a better half of yours to lean upon and speak your heart out.
Grown-up Tree -- You have been nurtured profusely to stand tall n rigidly in the storms that may otherwise let you down.
A Small Tree -- You, together with your better half, have given a new lease of life to another breaking dawn (your child).
One Bird Hovering Above -- There are comparatively less people around you to take care of you, unlike during your wonder childhood years.

Third Pic.

Fall of Dusk -- Twilight is setting , life has come a full circle.
An Old Man -- It's a race against time now on, it's the beginning of the end of the voyage.
Ageing Tree -- Signifies the above two things, second one being the personification of this.
Grown Tree -- Your kids have grown up, it's high time you start supporting them with tender care rather than clashes.
One Bird -- Self Explanatory, I guess??? :'(
Grave -- In course of the voyage you have lost loved ones n you also start to anticipate your ultimate fate and destiny.

Fourth Pic.

Nightfall -- Voyage is over, darkness is looming, high time to say good bye.
Starry Sky -- There's still happiness around, thanks to the aesthetic memories left by you and the good work done too.
Grown-up Tree -- Your kids are walking in your shoes now, it's time for them to follow your footsteps drawing inspiration from your exemplary life.
Grave With Two Crosses -- You are united with your soulmate and RIP forever.

Failure & Success

Failure is success turned inside out. Only you, can always turn it back again.


I've heard it said don't go to bed
While hanging on to sorrow,
You may not have the chance to laugh
With those you love tomorrow.

You may not mean the words you speak
When anger takes its toll,
You may regret your actions
Once you've lost your self-control.

When you've lost your temper
And you've said some hurtful things,
Think about the heartache
That your actions sometimes bring.

You'll never get those moments back,
Such precious time to waste,
And all because of things you said
In anger and in haste.

So if you really love someone
And your pride has settled in,
You may not ever have the chance
To say to them again.

"I love you and I miss you,
And although we don't agree,
I'll try to see your point of view,
Please do the same for me."

That's all you can do

Sometimes, you just need to sit back and watch things happen. Sometimes that's all you can do.


This is the only thing constant in the world and maybe(?) the best thing too. I am not talking about the change in weather, time or fashion here. Of late I'm supremely fascinated, rather intrigued by the human nature so lets talk about that.

People change, yes. But why? When? And how. I've always wondered why old aunties think that their spoilt sons/daughters will change after marriage. I mean after all its only marriage, not rebirth. No one can change anyone. That's one thing practically impossible. If the person wants to change then that's one accomplished mission in itself. Situations are the best catalysts to bring out the change in people. According to me, there are 2 kinds of change. Constructive and Destructive. The names speak for themselves I'm sure so I'm not gonna bother describe them. I believe life is like a spiral curve. There are ups and downs at every corner. Oh believe me its true. The ups give you a high and makes you think that life rocks while the downs make you wish that you didn't exist. Now the cue lies in how you take it. Some people refuse to believe that happiness never lasts for ever. They never want to come out of the well and view the other things. Downs happen when you do something wrong. Change yourself to never do such a thing again. I cant assure that you wont be down again, but atleast it will be for a different reason. Then comes another learning and then another changing lesson.

Situations bring out the best and the worst in people. You change for good then cheers. Else God save you. I'm talking about the change in the inner self. I'm now clear that people do change. And how. Maybe its got to do with the things they have gone through or they are just modelling themselves on someone else. But what some people don't realise is that how their change affects the people around them. This too can be constructive or destructive. Its sometimes kinda shocking how people can change. Its rightly said that 'A friend in need, is a friend in deed'. When you are messed up, the way people around you change is when you actually start realising things. The human nature is so damn complicated. Someone's misery is someone's joy. Cant believe it but its true.

The direction in which a person wants to change when he/she encounters such situations depends only on them. Its very easy to put up a strong face in front and die inside. But what they fail to realise is that its much simpler to accept it and change for good. Everyone is happy the way they are. But sometimes how the world views it also matters. The change that is giving them a high maybe paving way to the lowest paths in another being's life. Again this is something that cant be taught or told. One just has to realise it. A person always the way he/she is at the time they were born. Change is only a mask which keeps changing from time to time. One thing sure is established, people do change. Only by their own will. And when they do, all you can do is watch. Cos its something they want to do. If your life is getting affected by it, then the only thing you can do is change yourself to adapt to it.


Still trying to figure what is the best. The Roasted chicken sub from 'Subway' with extra mustard and mayo, or the 'KFC' Zinger burger with cheese and extra mayo or the cripsy roasted whole tandoori chicken I had today? Burp..!! :-)


Last week I had two major realisations. One, every single thing on earth is special. Two, humans are the worst species in the world.

I read 'Nineteen Minutes' by Jodi Picoult. I judge a book and a movie by what effect it leaves on your mind after its completion. This one makes you think a hell lot. Its not a very well heard of book, so here's how it goes. In the first chapter of the book a guy who is 17 walks into his school and shoots down 10 of his mates and injures 19 others. The entire fiasco last for nineteen minutes and hence the title. Why he did it forms the rest of the story. Totally worth the 600 pages it had.

Next, I saw a pretty old movie "The Elephant Man". Without a doubt this is the first movie I'd want to show to my kids when they come to their senses. Apart from me I just know one person who has seen this movie since its pretty old and I'm sure that its never been heard before in India. Its about a guy whose mother was trampled to death by wild elephants when she was pregnant. The infant survives, but is badly deformed. Badly would actually be an understatement here. The person in question (John Merrick), is so terribly deformed that his head is very large and he has the temple of an elephant. He is used in a circus as a freak to make money. His face is disfigured beyond your imagination, that he can even give the Red Dragon serious competition. Google it in images to see for yourself. I dint have the heart to put it up here. The way people treat him and use him form the rest of the movie. A must watch for everyone. This one has actually been inspired by a true story and my heart goes out to the real elephant man.

The thing common in the movie as well as the book, is the shrewdness of human nature. I always thought that everyone is born equal and has equal rights to live. A friend of mine says that Everyone is just the same, what differs is the way they use their abilities. I don't know why people pick on other people. The book mentions about the guy being humiliated time and again by his so called friends, for no fault of his. And the way the person is treated in the movie is clearly a shame to the human race. Not everyone is a born genius. Not everyone is great looking or is famous. But there is one thing common in everyone and that is feelings. There is nothing more painful than when feelings are hurt. Who doesn't want to feel loved? If you cant make a person feel good then you have no rights to make him feel bad either.

Inferiority complex is an in built thing in humans. Some learn to live with it. Torture is something which no one deserves. Not even an animal. Rejection is a part of life and there is nothing wrong in that. Making fun of others is fun to a certain extent but when it starts troubling the other person its inhumane. "Cruelty is always fun, until you realise that someone is getting hurt". When you do realise and stop, good. But if you don't, then no words to describe what you are. Kids are picked on in school, college for beings studious. Girls who are not pretty are teased. Unpopular kids are looked down upon. This is something which has been happening in day to day life and it is pathetic. Every person is special in his own special way and everybody deserves to be loved. Every single person demands to be treated with respect irrespective of the way he looks, the number of limbs he has or what he can do.

It can be easily said that you cant understand how it feels until you have experienced it. But how hard is it to understand feelings. I have been a good student, popular enough to have not been picked upon. I dint know how rejection felt until recently. It hurts yes. Badly it does. But if a single episode in life hurts so much, think about the people who are being subjected to such things everyday. Its hard to believe that its so easy to inflict pain on other people. At the end of the day they are humans. Why is it so hard to get it.

If every person treated the other as to how they would like to be treated, the world would have been a much better place today. And if this feeling of cruelty, sadistic tendencies comes naturally to humans, I truly feel ashamed of being a part of the human race :-(

Bloody Boring

'Kurbaan', was awaiting this damn movie from God knows how long. So me and my friend decided to watch it after office. With great difficulty, we got the tickets on the first day and hurried to the theatre escaping from office.

You know that a movie is not good when you start noticing only the clothes and makeup. This is exactly what happened to me with Kurbaan. The movie starts off in a Delhi college, where Avantika and Ehsaan, played by Kareena and Saif respectively are professors. They meet, go out for coffee, fall in love and are married within the first 20 minutes of the movie. They makeout in every place possible. The streets, cabs and believe it or not in the staff room. I mean if professors had so much fun, I wouldn't mind being one :P.

After their wedding, the movie shifts to NewYork where they start working as professors in NewYork University. Thankfully they are not making out in the staffrooms of NYU. Kareena teaches Psychology. Now that psychology teachers are supposed to be as goodlooking as Kareena I think I need to give a serious thought to studying psychology :P. Okay, jokes apart now I'm more interested in the subject than before. Saif, on the other hand teaches an imaginary subject "Impact of Muslims on the west". I cant believe that the dean of NYU agrees to a total stranger teaching a controversial subject to their students. The story(if any) loses track after the first half n hour of the movie. Suddenly Saif agrees to being a terrorist and Kareena is under house arrest and has to be mute to all her surroundings. She even has to cook for her husbands' terrorists friends and serve them like she's the best hostess in the world. Why, you never know.

The biggest mystery to me is why the people who are aware of what is happening around them don't contact the police. When Kareena finds out that her husband and his mates are planning to blow up a plane with an entire NewYork Delegation aboard, she tries contacting Dia Mirza, a journalist who is a part of the delegation. Why dint she contact the police or the airport authorities? The worse part is when Vivek Oberoi (in a dismissal role) finds out who is responsible for the plane blowing up incident tells "Main unse nipat lunga", instead of contacting the police. These form really big potholes in the movie. And that was only the beginning.

Performancewise Kareena excels. She looks gorgeous in the first part and her clothes and make up are bloody brilliant. Saif, looks kinda lost in the movie and the negative streak in him doesn't beat the one in 'Ek hasina thi' and 'Omkara'. He looks stylish and sleek. Its kinda surprising that a guy whose only motive is to destroy the anti-muslims is so updated with the latest fashion trends. Kareena's love for him in real life oozes out in every frame. Vivek and Dia play minute roles without any significance. Vivek and his fake accent only made the movie worse. I miss his Saathiya persona. Kiron Kher only looks funny in her western costumes and does nothing to help the slipping plot. Om Puri should retire. Its high time.

The biggest thing that was impossible for me to digest was that Saif's pictures are all over the police systems and yet he walks around like a free bird all over the city. One more thing is Kareens seducing him inorder to get some information when he's asleep. Instead of trying to sex him into sleep she could have just sedated him, which would have been more simpler and shall have reduced the length of the movie by atleast 15 mins. But Karan Johar is a smart producer. He knows that his story line is faulty and he needs viewers and hence the sexy song forms the USP of the movie. Kareena's excuse for doing that bold song was "Its integral to the script". Bullshit. I can come up with a dozen excuses to put a guy to sleep instead of tiring him out to sleep :-). Eventhough the song was not needed, that song is amazingly passionate and sung beautifully. It clearly forms a honeymoon song and I'm super addicted to it now. It has a very strong classical touch and is passion personified.

There sure is a lot of blood shed in the movie. The tagline says, 'Some love stories have blood on them'. I surely saw a lot of love and blood but sadly no story. The love between them has been seen before and is highly publicised already as 'Saifeena' and there is no need to sit through such a movie to see it. You surely can do much better Karan. Stick to your 'Wake up Sid!' kinda genre. This one surely is not memorable.

Life Still Has A Meaning

If there is a future
There is also a time for mending,
Time to see the troubles
Coming to an ending.

Life is never hopeless
However great the sorrow,
If you're looking forward
You will have a new tomorrow.

If there is time for wishing
Then there is time for hoping,
When through doubt and darkness
You are blindly groping.

Though the heart be heavy
Hurt you may be feeling,
If there is time for praying
There is also time for healing.

So if through your window
There is a new day breaking,
Thank God for the promise,
Though mind and soul be aching.

If with harvest over
There is grain enough for gleaning,
There is a new tomorrow and
Life still has a meaning.


  • If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.

  • The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.

  • Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.

  • The best vitamin for making friends....B1.

  • The 10 commandments are not multiple choice.

  • The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

  • Minds are like parachutes.. .they function only when open.

  • Ideas won't work unless YOU do.

  • One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

  • One who lacks the courage to start has already finished.

  • The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.

  • Don't learn safety rules by accident.

  • We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.

  • Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise.

  • A turtle makes progress when it sticks its head out.

  • One thing you can give and still your word.

  • A friend walks in when everyone else walks out.


  • The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!!!
  • Back with A Box of Kisses

    Today has been an eventful day in my life. So eventful that I had to give up my break and return to what I love doing most. Talking and blogging. Today, various events have occured in various places at various time. But they only had one impact on me. They helped me realise a lot and have helped me grow. Life is a learning lesson and I have now come to believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason and happens for good. I'm gonna live by it now. Some people die long before their heart stops functioning. I dont want to be one among them. Nothings happens by itself, you need to make it happen. As my manager says, "You are your own driving force".!

    The reason why today was kinda special was due to the below story. I had a discussion about it with a friend and it just made me feel really nice.

    The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

    Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty.

    He yelled at her, "Don't you know that when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside it?"

    The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said,"Oh, Daddy, it is not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy."

    The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.

    It is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

    In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family and God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold. Hold on to it and life will be no less than heaven.

    Cheers to that!! :-)

    Will be BACK

    Just when I thought that things were getting better, Life decides to take a sharp 'U' turn. Things have got more messier (if that was possible), and I'm the only one who is solely responsible for it. Its just that as the dates approach 18th, somethings breaks within me. I can feel the sharp sting inside and I just lose my mind. Its during this time that my attempts at damage control gets more worse than the damage itself.

    I've not been in a very clear state of mind since last week. My vacation has been cancelled, I'm loaded with work until March and I was down with food poisoning since 2 days, which has left me all weak and emaciated. I had to skip work for 2 days, to get some good rest. My parents couldn't get an off and I was left all alone at home. I couldn't surf the net because I was not supposed to strain my eyes, I couldn't read (same reason again). All I could do was lie down and think. And that's what I did. Just when I was thinking about everything in my life, Dad, knowing that I was too exhausted to retaliate, brought up the dreaded 'Marriage' talk. Now that my sister has turned a year older, he wants her to settle down. Fair enough. But whats not fair is that he wants me to settle down within a year after she does. I was like, WTF. So that would give me 2 or max 3 years. But dad has always been my weakness and I can never say an outright no to him. After all he's one among the 2 men whom I love the most in the world. I told him that I'll think about it. And now the time has come for some serious thinking.

    Life has been pathetic and I'm not in a very sound mind since the past 15-16 months. I thought that people around me were the only ones who noticed how unhappy I was but I was bummed when a stranger approached me in a coffee shop a few days ago and asked me the same. So, this guy just came upto me when I was waiting for my girls in a coffee shop. First thing he tells is that, 'You have really lovely eyes and a beautiful smile'. I was obviously flattered but considering that he was a stranger, I decided to end it with a thank you. But before I could say something, he said 'But there is a problem with you'. I could only manage a confused look. He then says, 'When you smile, your eyes don't smile.' and leaves. I had forgotten that incident until a few days back. I stood in front of the mirror and asked myself if I was that unhappy that even strangers can notice it. Its not a good thing.

    The past 15-16 months has been emotionally taxing and has completely broken me down. However I tried my best, not to get shattered. But now I guess its too late. Shattered and bruised is how my current state of mind is. At this point I had only 2 options. One, to give it all up and end it once and forever. Two, to be strong and fight and try to mend up things. I chose the latter. I need to pick up the shattered bits of life and sort it out. Obviously this is not going to happen overnight. I need time to figure out things, considering the fact that I have very few years left. Its really funny because a couple of years ago, I had a plan chalked out. From the guy I wanted to marry, to the names of my 2 children had been planned. And I always thought that things went wrong for people who dint have a plan. How foolish was I.

    Now I need to decide if I have to have faith in my love, or give love a second chance or directly jump into a compromise (read 'Arranged Marriage'). Or I need to come up with an excuse that will get me out of this even if its temporary. Higher studies is the best option. But in what I don't get it. Psychology, Literature, Journalism, all these appeal to me but I need to narrow it down soon. So by now you all would have got it that how conked up I am. I need time to sort out things. I don't know when and how I am going to do it. Honestly, I'm not even sure if I want to do it or not. Somehow running away from such stuff seemed easy, but now I need to face it and make decisions. Its my life after all and not a movie.

    In my current state of mind, anything that I do, say or post is going to be utter rubbish. I don't want to repent for things I did in an unsound state of mind. So I'm taking a break. Quite a long one to sort out the broken pieces of life. I just hope God gives me the strength and sense to figure things out. So take care guys and do pray for me. I will be back soon, as a better person and with better posts. Until then, Its break time..!!


    Gandhiji said, "Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes". I totally agree with it. Just one clause, You make a mistake, accept it. Don't try to cover it up. A person who makes a mistake, accepts that what he/she has done is wrong, genuinely regrets and asks for forgiveness, deserves to be forgiven. Its takes great guts for a person to accept their own mistakes. After all you have to live with it for the rest of your life. You learn from your mistakes true. But its also true that until it happens to you, you wont realise that its a mistake. Life teaches you a million lessons and most of these come from experience. My funda is simple. 'Always accept your mistakes before someone else goes out and exaggerates them'. There wouldn't be a single person out there who has not committed any mistake. Ohh comeon its been an age old fact that 'To err is human'. Aren't we all. Every learning lesson in life evolves from a mistake.

    Some say that people who fear to make mistakes hardly do anything with their lives. But failure to learn from one's mistakes will lead one to commit the same mistake again. There's got to be a balance somewhere. Mistakes are unavoidable. Its the aftermath that matters. A great quote I found. "If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down". I mean, this cannot be more true. We often think that if we could go back in life and rectify a few mistakes we made, we surely would. However, now that is next to impossible, we may as well as try to make the best of it now. What is a mistake? Its an action you did which made you repent later. So whats the best you can do? Never do that again and that's a lesson well learnt. How hard is it?

    Life is a long journey and no saint has made it through without committing a mistake. Life is all about making mistakes. Realisation is what mistakes to learn from. Sometime ago I wouldn't be the person who would listen to all such things, let alone think about it or write about it. But when reality strikes you, you are left with nothing but the guilt of what you have done. If I could I would just go back and undo it. But my mistakes only helped me learn and realise the importance of people in my life. That's only because I was willing to accept that I went wrong. Yes, the girl who lived half her life thinking that she could never go wrong, was actually wrong. I made a huge nightmare of a mistake and am repenting till now. But that has helped me grow as a person. I would never ever, no matter under any circumstances make such a mistake again. I have seen the consequences and will never let that happen again. I accepted my mistake yes. Every single bit of it. I dint feel ashamed or anything. That's because I knew what I had done is wrong. My mindset, emotional dependency and temper has put me into a lot of trouble. Umpteen number of times I've repented and tried to sew the broken ends. Succeeded sometimes, failed the other times. But I accepted my fault and tried. That's what counts. Thanks to all these episodes in life, now I'm a changed person. No these things dint happen over night. It was over a duration of time that these realisations dawned and helped me become the better person I am today. Patience, which was never one of my virtues is my trademark now. Boy, I really really worked hard on this one. My friends ask me how on earth did you manage to do that and I have no answer. Understanding, the thing I lacked most initially comes naturally to me now. I was a super stubborn creature wanting what I wanted by hook or crook without being bothered about others' problems. But now the first thing I do is put myself in their place and look at things from their side and decide on what to do. I've got so used to this now that people actually take advantage of it and have taken me for granted :-(. But I cant change myself now. I know I'm doing right, and people can do whatever they want. Sometimes, there comes a point in your life where people become so selfish that they wouldn't mind jeopardising existing relationships or manipulating you to get their things done. That's when and why I learnt that I need to be emotionally independent. Its really hard for someone like me, but I'm improving bit by bit. So here, I've realised my faults, accepted it and am doing something about it. Lost enough because of my foolishness. Not anymore. Not anymore.

    There are some cases where I've seen people who are proud of their mistakes. "I know I'm wrong, but that person deserved it". This doesn't make sense what so ever. No one gives you the right to hurt anyone. My friends tell me that my problem is that I'm too good to people. I do things with only good intentions and except the same from them. But that's not how the world works. I've been used and my feelings shattered and manipulated by God knows how many. The world apparently is a very bad place. You need to learn on your own to survive. Make mistakes, take it positively and learn from them. Never be weak. Making mistakes only make you stronger. And for God's sake never make them again. That's foolishness and you'll be in trouble forever.

    Also, never expect people to be like you. Each one is a species all together. You may accept your mistakes and try to cope up, but don't expect people to forgive you all the time. You try your best and if your worth it, they will. The whole point of this post is to accept your mistakes. Please don't try to cover it up. It only makes things worse. Be honest and don't lie. Its something that you have done. Why deny that? How can you live with yourself denying something that you have done and are well aware of. Just accept it and get it out of your system. You will feel really light trust me. Mistakes are committed due to weakness of something or the other. Don't argue for other people's weaknesses. Don't argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it ----- IMMEDIATELY.

    Some quotations that make sense.

    1. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
    2. An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
    3. As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.
    4. Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.
    5. Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
    6. It's always helpful to learn from your mistakes because then your mistakes seem worthwhile.
    7. Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
    8. Mistakes, obviously, show us what needs improving. Without mistakes, how would we know what we had to work on?
    9. Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
    10. The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
    11. The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.
    12. There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one's errors. It not only clears up the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error.
    13. When you make a mistake, admit it. If you don't, you only make matters worse.

    Finally Something Good

    Its November and finally this year is turning out to be a tad better. I hope these two months ahead compensate for the ten past ones. Anyways the reason I said that this year is getting better is that from the start of this month, good things are happening. Yeah finally!! Phew, how much I've waited for the year to get better. Work is great, realisations dawned, realised the importance of few people in life, shunned out a lot of unwanted people, finally figured out what I want in life, celebrated the success of my weight put on mission, won a contest at blogger town, going on a holiday and now, one of my best friends is getting married.!!! Yay! I'm so damned happy. She deserves a lot of happiness and I'm sure she will get it. Congrats Girl.!! I hope this improvement in life continues. Keeping fingers crossed.!!

    Thanks :-)

    I'm supremely happy these days. My blogs are being appreciated on a national forum. My post won the contest on the first month itself. I just received my gift at home and loved it. I even got a certificate and a virtual trophy that I have already displayed. My posts reflect my life, my happiness and sorrows and my daily life. I'm very honest on my posts and write from my experience and straight from my heart. I'm not a poetess but all my poems have been appreciated so much by bloggers all over the country. I never thought that my blog will be such a hit. I feel so humbled and touched. I write about regular stuff and that seems to be the USP of my blog. I'd like to thank all my followers and friends and each and every soul in my life.

    Writing was just a habit before, considering the fact that I've documented my life since I was 16 in a diary. Now its a passion and a new obsession. Just penning down my thoughts make me feel so good. My life is out there on my blog. No hidden facts and no fake stories. Its all out there. As a follower once said that just my posts is enough to know about my entire life and my life style. They say that the pen is mightier than the sword. Couldn't be more true. After every single post, I feel so light. My blog is like my friend with whom I share everything. Its nice to see the mixed reactions of people and their opinions do matter to me.

    Also, just have a look a look at my new stint at blogger town. My post 'Murderer' is amongst the most commented posts and the comments I've received on my others posts is commendable. Just follow the link below and at the right side of the home page you will find a list of bloggers on that forum. You just have to click on my name to see my posts.

    So thanks to everyone who have contributed to my life. If you have made an impact, you surely have appeared on my blog. Thanks for appreciating me, and accepting my brutally honest posts as they are. Thanks a ton everyone!! So keep on reading and yes your comments and suggestions are held high.!! Thanks a lot :-).

    Brain Power

    An interesting article in the paper today. "Women like Nerds", it said. Although not entirely true I'd not disagree on it. I wouldn't prefer calling them nerds. That sounds very geeky. "Smart and Intellectual" sounds much better. Yes, women definitely find such men better when compared to hot and sexy poster boys. Hot and sexy + Smart and intellectual = Jackpot. If you've found such a guy then stick on girl!! Never let him go.

    So the whole article was about how these men who are old and nerdy attract young attractive women. Personally, I would surely prefer a learned man than a hot dumb one. See its not like good looking guys are always dumb. There are a few smart ones, but no matter how smart they are they will be narcissists. They have this air about them that they can rule the world and can have any woman by their side. Such guys are a strict no no for me. Any guy who can keep me engaged in a conversation is a big hit with me. You need to have a partner with whom you can talk to endlessly. Because when you grow old, conversation is the only thing that will keep you going. In order to make decent talk the guy has to well learnt and smart. If thats called nerdy so be it.

    I've always found this quality the best in men. Nothing to do with the age and all, but I've always found a Shashi Tharoor more attractive than a ShahRukh Khan or a Rahul Bose more fascinating than a Hrithik Roshan. Looks are great yes, but something within should matter to. I'd call it the 'CHARM'. Looks are not charming always. The way a guy speaks, the topics he prefers, his take on life, the books he reads, this is enough to know about a guy and how will he treat you. But these may not be the same for every guy. Like take the guy I'm crazy about for an example. He doesn't like to read. Not a movie buff like me who watches atleast 2 movies a week on big screen. But the thing that attracts him most to me is the way he keeps my brain and heart occupied. Everyday with him was an adventure and not a routine. I love him, so thats what has to do with the heart. But he's the only one who has been able to titillate my brain and heart the same way. 5 hours of conversation with him and I'd still look forward for more. Topics should not be limited obviously. Any topic under the sun should be discussed with ease. Ofcourse, this depends on the comfort level as well. But that depends on the person and how comfortable he makes you feel. He makes me fall in love with him every single day and this has to do with the way he is and thats what attracts him the most to me. An extra talent like singing, writing, playing an instrument or a sport is an added advantage. Noone until today, has had me drooling over him like this one has. He is an entire package with beauty, brains and a heart to kill for. I've always wanted a guy who is a step ahead of me in every field. This one surely is and thats what is most attractive about him.

    Most guys are so obsessed about the way they look and how hot girls find them. Among such guys I would surely go for the one who is simple and down to earth. The article says that everyone would like a partner who is unlike them. I'm not the simple and down to earth types , but I'd surely want one who is like that. That way we can complete each other. I've had guy friends who are so obsessed about themselves that they complain that why don't girls find them attractive. I tell them what a girl looks for but they just fail to get it. How hard is it to get that girls don't fall for the way a guy looks or for the the things he can afford. Okay wont deny that there are plenty of girls out there who would actually fall for such things. But they are the ones who fail to understand love and companionship.

    Brain power rules, in both males and females. Would never compromise on such a thing. I think nobody should.