Life's Unanswered Questions

Have you ever wondered :-

• Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
• Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
• Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
• What do people in hell say to each other when they are pissed?
  
• Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
• Do they bury people with their braces on?
• Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?
• If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?
• Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it.
• Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
• Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
• Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
• Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
• If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
• How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?
• If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?
• Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
• When there's two men who "get married", do they both go to the same bachelor party?
• If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
• Do you yawn in your sleep?
• What do you call Chinese food in China?
• Why can't donuts be square?
• If there's a speed of sound and a speed of light is there a speed of smell?
• What do Greeks say when they don't understand something?
• Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
• Do bald people get Dandruff?
• When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
• How did the first women ever to shave their legs know that the skin wouldn't just peel right off?
• If you had a three story house and were in the second floor, isn't it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?
• If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
• What do you call male ballerinas?
• What is another word for "thesaurus"?
• Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
• If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
• If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
• If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
• Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
• There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? :-)
  
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• Why is it when a door is open it's ajar,but when a jar is open it's not adoor?
• Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
• In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
• If quizzes are called quizzicals then what are tests called? :-)
  
• Why do they call someone "late" if they died early?
• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? :P
  
• Why are they called goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps?
• Do vampires get AIDS?
• What is a male ladybug called?

Well... I guess there is a reason why these questions are unanswerable. Because they are.