Is Fair Lovely ??

After a complaint from a loyal follower of my blog that my blog is mostly about love, I've decided to divulge into other topics too. This is something I've wanted to write about for a while.

I don't know why are we making such a hue and cry about the racial attacks in Australia, when India is no less. No point in pointing out a finger towards something, when the rest of the fingers are pointing towards us (Never thought I would use the word point thrice in one sentence :P). India is said to be a very diverse country, but take a look at any matrimonial ad. I have a few here for instance.

.... Wanted Bride, Fair and beautiful. Age between 20-25, good looking and educated for Indian guy settled in Mumbai with family business.

.... Looking for Sincere Independent Christian, God fearing, fair, honest caring affectionate beautiful lady for a well settled Indian 44 yrs in Australia.

The next one is kick ass.

.... Hi mam, I am a Male, Indian Bengali living in Mumbai. I am 50+ looking young and VERY handsome, very Fair, 5'-7 tall, 67 kgs, smart, romantic, jovial, having own Industry, house cars etc, M.Com, MBA. I am also an Author, Writer & Journalist. I NEVER GOT LOVE IN MY LIFE FROM A FEMALE except from my mother and sister. I need a female life partner who is decent, fair, beautiful, caring and can give me lots of LOVE. Please write to me.

Why oh why? Everyone needs a fair bride or groom. Is one less beautiful or ill mannered just because his/her skin colour is not fair or very fair as they call it. I'm yet to come across a matrimonial ad which says wanted "dusky and beautiful bride" or "dusky and lovely girl". Apparently for many dusky doesn't sound good with beautiful and lovely. It just doesn't make any sense. No matter what century we live in, people are always going to be this shallow I guess.

India has never been a whole. People have always been categorised here. Northies for anyone who is not a South Indian. Why don't they call anyone eastie's or westie's.?? Even the very sound of it seems pathetic. Any East Indian here is a "Chinkie". Till today no one has dared enough to stop this trend. Today in Bangalore, on an average 10% of the population are East Indians. Agreed they look really great and classy, but they are more often than not looked upon as objects of sexual desire. Reason.. They are sooooo fair. They are genuinely nice people but people fail to look at anything beyond their skin colour. They way they are ogled at in Bangalore, Brigade Road in particular gives me creeps.

When colour matters so much in our country itself, why make it a big deal when its happening elsewhere too. Why do we have a fixation with fair skin? My mom's best friend visited our place last evening and went on and on about the fact that her family is going through a lot of problems. Reason she says is that her 22 year old daughter is not getting married. Reason for that she claims is that her daughter is dark skinned. And she kept cursing herself that such a daughter has come out from her womb. My mom just lost it and soon we witnessed a never ending debate. Still that lady was never ready to give up. However, I'm proud of my mom. Why such a prejudice for fair skin? Why do we have bias against black skin? Can such prejudices never be changed? Answer is no. I don't think people in our country are "open" enough to get this.

Why can’t anyone just accept their true colors? Why is fairness considered the top most priority when it comes to looking good? Indians are not fair in the first place. They are born wheatish. The colour of the skin depends on a lot of factors. Its as simple as that. We Indians have a unique blended complexion that is really attractive. Still people feel inferior due to this. The soaring increase in the sales of the so called "Fairness Creams" can vouch for it. The ads for the fairness creams are so dumbfounding. Not in a good way. A girl is sad, has no career or boyfriend uses this cream and suddenly has all the joys of the world. Or a girl who is rejected in a singing show because she's not fair, uses a cream becomes fair overnight and goes on the win the show. Speaking about waste of talent.

The most pathetic thing I saw was the sale of some fairness potion called "RoopAmrit" on national television. A well known actress was promoting it. I can bet my life that she wouldn't dare to use it even once. In this ad, a girl is shooed away from home by her parents because she is not fair. Yeah I couldn't believe it either. Then the girl somehow gets hold of this potion and becomes fair, comes back and is accepted wholeheartedly. Wonder who comes up with such concepts. These ads always emphasize upon the urgent need of getting fair and regaining our lost self-esteem. Really? Why are Indians so obsessed with the fair complexion? Why do people feel inferior if they are not fair. These ads only make you feel more inferior. For people with not so fair complexion, this is almost like getting assaulted for what they are. But on one hand, the parents, peers, family members keep reminding you of this so called ‘curse’ like my mom's friend and on the other hand these annoying TV ads try their best to subjugate one’s self-esteem!

Personally I've had such experiences of my own. Me being a South Indian am definitely not a fair skinned person. I'm proud of myself and don't even feel inferior for an inch. I've never had to give up on anything or never had to compromise on something. But there are a few people here and there who think that I'm not up to their mark, just because I'm not fair skinned. Even the best of my fiends who are guys prefer to date fair women. They love me for what I am, but their thoughts on this issue is always a debatable topic. So anyone out there who is dusky or dark need not feel bad for themselves. They are the most attractive of the lot. Agreed, Fair is pretty. But, dusky is hot, sexy and sultry. Come on, a Salma Hayek or Beyonce is always more desirable than a Nicole Kidman or Kate Winslet. Closer home, no one would prefer a Kareena Kapoor over the gorgeous Bipasha Basu.

Sometimes there is no one to blame. Maybe this entire thing started off with the "White Britishers" ruling the "Brown Indians". Maybe white skin was always considered as a sign of higher authority. I'm ashamed to say this, but some of my friends and relatives are among the ones who think so. I've had relatives telling me age old secrets to get fair. I just tell them where they can go. My parents are proud of me. Nothing to do with my skin colour, today I'm a very successful woman and have never lost out on anything just because I'm not fair.

The whole issue of Michael Jackson changing his skin colour is still under suspicion. Did he voluntarily do it or he had some problem with the pigmentation. No one knows? I say why bother. But people do. I was surprised when a relatively fair lady walked into a parlour where I was getting my haircut and wanted to bleach her skin. How much more fair does one want to get?

The most inhuman thing I've come across is this tag line of a fairness cream company.

Dark skin=Ugliness=Failure"

Whoever came up with this is surely a shallow person. When we thought that it couldn't get worse than this, came the fairness creams for men. With Shahrukh and John endorsing such stuff, I've completely lost respect for them. I've never liked Aishwarya, but her take on not endorsing fairness creams just bowled me over. This is called a woman of substance. If being gay can be considered unnatural what is using all these creams or bleaches called?

Any girl or guy who is not fair skinned just think the way I do. "I'm not fair and that makes me all the more special".


  1. good one...but since when did u start visiting profiles in matrimonial sites :P????

  2. thanks kirik.... and priya, i visited these sites for my sister, not me..
    You know i dont need that :-)

  3. hey good one yaar...I wish Indian people should start thinking in d way u do..but everyone is so used to get insulted dat ...newaz...
    If u wanna write a book,i may say,choose sumthng dat will help people..not only in love sense..but sumthng dat will really force them to stop and think about happenings in their life..I m sure it will help, may be, not to all of them but at least the circle around you..anywaz juzz a suggestion..:-)

  4. Indians are racist, there is no doubt about that. Only it is not displayed so overtly as in the West. And Indian cinema does a fabulous job of perpetrating this by reinforcing every possible type of stereotype regarding colour. Bollywood has very few dusky heroines and the less said about regional cinema the better.
    Tamil cinema is even worse. It is racism combined with male chauvinism. While all the actors are invariably dark the actresses are all imported from Mumbai or Delhi and the fairer the better.

    Some interesting things ...similar to the Indians’ obsession with fairness

    In ancient China, Women's attractiveness was measured by foot size – the smaller the better. Women bound their feet tightly, enduring broken toes and infections in a bid to ensure their feet didn’t grow.

    In the UK there is a national obsession with women’s breasts,In the UK and most western countries, cosmetic surgery for bust enhancement is widely advertised, just as fairness creams are advertised in India.

    And it’s not just women who are judged on physical appearance. Men are too, only that in a man’s case, it’s usually the height – haven’t you seen also references to ‘tall’ grooms in the adverts? When was the last time you saw a woman asking for a short man in a matrimonial advert? Truth be told, the overwhelming majority of Indian women want tall men or at least men who are taller than they are.

    Sadly,In the end,its all about profits.Companies will smell money where there is oppurtunity.To make people buy something,first they must make them feel,they lack something.And hence the endless adverts reinforcing the 'inferiority complex'....what is surprising is that these ads are not banned yet...

    Maybe one day they will,when we throw away our colonial past and be comfortable in our skins,whatever color they might be.Looking forward to that day.

  5. Thanks Aru :-).. sorry for the previous ones..
    This actually looks like an extension to my post :)


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