I met this woman yesterday,
Who just wouldn't shut her mouth;
Blah blah blah she went,
Topics ranging from politics to food down south.
She thought she was the long lost queen,
Expected me to treat her like royalty;
Snobbish, rude and arrogant she was,
Without even an ounce of nobility.
She said, she's yet to meet a woman,
Who is prettier than her;
All I could do was force a smile,
While inside I gave a sneer.
I could see the seam splitting,
From her cheap brown and black dress;
Yet she acted like she's decked in Gucci,
Like Versace and Valentino visit her personal address.
Her hairstyle looked like my neighbour's poodle,
She said she likes Italian food, especially the noodle;
Gold jewellery is her passion she told,
Fast cars and hot guys she likes to hold;
Ugly, but thinks all the guys stare at her,
Poor thing doesn't know that its only in shock;
Yet she acts like she's god's gift to manhood,
Oh well, how do we get rid of her mental block?
A double XL, but feels size zero,
Clothes waiting to burst at the seam;
Puffy cheeks and sunken eyes,
Tooth protruding out, in a scary beam.
She went on and on, talk after talk,
Speaking of her hidden family wealth;
I felt she needed to concentrate more,
On her extra pounds and health.
She then started about this guy she liked,
Reason she says is cos he has a fancy car;
He is one hell of a cool dude,
Who wouldn't look at her even from far.
Each one should know where they stand,
Don't force yourself to grab any hand;
If someone likes you for what you are,
He's the chosen one, who'll make you feel grand.
When I could take it no longer,
I gave her the above advice;
She said that she had never seen a bitch like me,
Until today, to be precise.
I got flared up and dint want to let go,
If you rub me wrong, results you will get,
I said "So you haven't seen a bigger bitch?,
Pity, you haven't looked at a mirror yet".