My review on the book 'Love Will Follow' may lean more towards the negative side due to following three reasons. One, the title suggests that arranged marriages will work as love will follow later, but all the examples in the book only show failed marriages, be it love or arranged. Two, the timing when I read the book. My best friend's wedding(arranged one), and seeing them so happy I had decided to give a go for the arranged concept, but the book made me think otherwise. Three, I'm definitely not the one who should read anything remotely related to a failed relationship. Makes me miserable. So there we go. I may seem biased because of the above reasons, but honestly the book doesn't leave a single positive thought on your mind. If there were any already, it may just take it all away.
I decided to read this book for one sole reason, the title. It said 'Love Will Follow'. I thought it will provide an insight on arranged marriages. Well, it didn't. Shaifali Sandhya the author is either a hardcore pessimist or a person who has been very unlucky in relationships. The examples mentioned in the book are really scary and at times hard to believe too. For example, the story which talks about Ambika, a successful working woman, stylish, beautiful and capable of achieving anything she wants. She is tied in a marriage of seven years where her husband has another family in another part of the world complete with kids and all. She is very well aware of this fact but is still married to him for more than half a decade. Reason, because of her kids. Do such things still happen now? I thought that was decades ago.
Marriages work, irrespective of love or arranged, when you want it to work. The compatibility, understanding and trust is what makes it work. Infidelity seems to be an increasing trend these days. All thanks to people like Tiger Woods and John Terry. Boy, I liked Terry so much at one point of time but now I simply loathe him. Thankfully no Indians are out in the open yet, with their list of infidelities. They do exist, I know. Some are out in the open and some still remain unknown. How can you cheat someone who loves you? How can you have two families and act like its not a big deal? Each thought is scarier than the other. The book only focuses on such issues while hardly giving a thought to marriages that have actually sustained.
My parents have been married for 29 years now. Mom and dad saw each other just once before the engagement, but still they lasted almost 3 decades. They may not be the happiest of couples still they have managed to make it work, and have done a really good job at it. It all about how you take it I guess. For some people marriages are sacred, so they hold on to it no matter what. Children form the glue in a loveless marriage, as in the case of Ambika here. I still wonder how can you bring a child out of a loveless marriage. That's like cheating your child and yourself. You don't need excuses to keep the marriage alive. You just need a reason, and that should be that you want it to work. Sticking onto something dead and trying to bring an offspring out of it is total madness.
Some parents think marriage help their kids 'grow up'. If the son is irresponsible, the only solution to this problem will be, 'Lets get him married, he'll become responsible'. If the daughter is lazy, cannot do the household chores, the solution again is 'Lets get her married, she'll learn then'. What do they think, I don't understand. Marriage is marriage after all, not rebirth. Agreed, you may succumb to responsibilities and will be forced to change, but is that a healthy change? You would just be doing things for the sake of it without feeling the need inside. There is also an incident in the book where parents of a homosexual guy decide to get him married with the hope of 'curing' him. How ignorant is our country? He ends up ruining the girls' life and she continues to live like as though nothing has happened. Strange are the ways of some women.
Marriage for me, would be for keeps. I'd go to any lengths to keep my marriage going. But if cases of infidelity occur, I'll turn into the true blooded lioness and attack my prey. I'd have no qualms walking out on a cheating husband. But after reading this book, marriage seems like a big risk. Even love marriages have no guarantee. Anything can go wrong, anytime. And the way Lord Murphy is showering his blessings on me, I know which side my life is gonna lean. The things I look for in a partner are changing day by day. Just imagine being stuck in a boring bond. Scary. For me, I need someone whom I can talk to day in and day out. If not anything else we can spend the rest of our life just talking to each other. Good conversations help to make good connections. After all this I feel, I'd rather marry a good friend than go for some strange demon. As they say, 'A known devil is any day better than an unknown angel'.