The Secret

Its past 2.00 am on a Monday morning, and I'm wide awake with this stupid grin on my face. I don't know what I am feeling currently, but the feeling is surely not an unpleasant one. I don't feel happy, but I guess somewhere deep inside I'm content with what I have today. My mind set into motion and words began to flow. That's how I stumbled upon 'The Secret'.

I'm finally pulling myself up,
Slowly crawling out of the bottomless pit;
As I'm leaving the troubles behind,
I feel nice and I'm loving it.

Couldn't believe that I could change,
And become a much better person;
But you have to do it someday,
When you have a good enough reason.

Let out the frustrations,
Left behind the wrath and wrong;
This tedious episode of my life,
Has only made me more strong.

Why worry about the future,
Why dig into the past;
When things can't be undone,
Why stick on to it till the last?

Never bottle up the feelings,
Good or bad, let it flow;
Get it out of your system,
Then the difference you'll know.

Beneath every one's veneer,
Is hidden a deep secret;
Some run away from it,
And some choose to live in regret.

The secret to good living is,
Letting life take its course;
Find happiness within yourself,
Make yourself the source.

No excuse is strong enough,
If it keeps you from getting all what you want;
Cos if you let go of it now,
You may regret later and it may haunt.

The secret I now know is that,
What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger;
It is the change you wanted to see in yourself,
And it makes you want to live longer.

Things that never cross a man's mind

Okay I'm not saying this. Its a song I found, with awesome lyrics :D

I need to go shopping
These shoes are all wrong
Just look in my closet
Not a thing to put on
I wonder how these jeans make me look from behind
Things that never cross a man's mind

Lets turn off the TV
Now can't we just talk
Lets lay here and cuddle
Till we both drift off
If we don't make love
That'll be just fine
Things that never cross a man's mind

That joke is too dirty
This steak is too thick
Ain't no way in the world I'll ever finish it
That car is too fast
This beer is too cold
And watching all this football is sure getting old
Wish I was working this weekend
Not on the lake threading my line
Things that never cross a man's mind

Her lips are too red
Her skirt is too tight
Her legs are too long
And her heels are too high
Boy, she looks like the marrying kind
Things that never cross a man's mind

That joke is too dirty
This steak is too thick
Ain't no way in the world I'll ever finish it
That car is too fast
This beer is too cold
And watching all this football is sure getting old
Wish I was working this weekend
Not on the lake threading my line
Things that never cross a man's mind

I feel a little bloated
I think I'm fixing to start
That movie was good except for the violent parts
Brad Pitt is sexy
Why did he change his hair
I knew him and Jenny never had a prayer
These curtains clash with the carpet
The color scheme is a crime
Things that never cross a man's mind
Things that never cross a man's mind

I wanna go boom boom

My silliest post till date. I don't know what I was thinking, but after reading this I feel real nice :D

As I open my eyes,
With a wide smile on my face;
As the bright sun fills my room,
I just wanna go boom boom.

When things go my way,
I feel like a powerful witch;
I wish I could fly away on my broom,
And then happily go boom boom.

Things have been getting better,
Day by day I feel nice;
There is only light and no more gloom,
That's why I wanna go boom boom.

The pain has settled,
Joy is appearing at the horizon;
I can see happiness in full zoom,
Enough reasons to go boom boom.

I feel complete and satiated,
Filled with life and love;
I feel like a flower in full bloom,
Why shouldn't I go boom boom?

I'm seeing things right,
Wrong things I have left;
I'm not gonna let myself doom,
I want to be strong and go boom boom.

A day will come,
When I'll have the perfect man by my side;
Right now I donno its gonna be whom,
But when he comes, together we'll go boom boom.

:D :D :D

I walk Alone

I dream. I'm elated when they come true, and I'm disappointed when they don't. Well, I'm the only one getting affected by it. Who else is gonna be aware of what I want? Sitting back and looking at life, I realise that each one is all alone. We come alone and we go alone. And the journey in between is also meant to be spent alone. Whoever said 'Each one to its own' is so damn right.

Life's been good these days. Well, there has been a few glitches here and there, but life has kinda been stable. I've learnt to accept things and I've learnt that that's the only way and the best way you can deal with things. Again its something that I've learnt, but noone will understand why I am, the way I am. That's all well within me. I have a great bunch of friends and a lot of people in my life. I know the ones who love me, the one who don't, the ones who pretend to and the ones who pretend not to. Friends are the best form of distraction life can give. I go out with them, have loads of fun but at the end of the day I come back to my room and am left to deal with the inner demons all alone. That's life. No matter whom you have, how many you have, at the end of the day you are just with yourself.

Why do I write? Its only because I want to. I write what I feel like at that point of time. My poems are mostly about love and life. My love and my life. So if I don't write about it, who else will. I don't know how many of them actually read what I write, but I feel better once I see what I feel in words. That's all that matters to me. I'm usually a very happy person, but some of the people 'think' that I'm not. They think I'm sad and lonely and am just not able to move on in life. I've changed from the weepy girl I was a year ago, to a mature understanding woman. If this is not moving on, then what else is? If moving on means, jumping into the arms of the next guy I find, I refuse to move on. Its my life and I know what I want from it. People might hate me for the way I am, but I'm still me and that's what matters. They say that the first cut is always the deepest. Only I know it, for it penetrated my skin.

Well life moves on. Time doesn't heal anything, it only gives us the strength to handle it or makes us get used to it. Good or bad, you have to deal with it. People can only give an opinion, but what you do is entirely your choice. I think pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Every step in life is a reality check, and the only way you can actually learn things is the hard way. At every step you surely will have people around you, but you need to figure out the next step you want to take. I may crib about being a techie today, but when I had the choice to choose what I want, I chose this and that's why I am here today. Had I wanted to pursue journalism or psychology I should have chosen it that time. But I dint. Each one pays for the choices they make in life and it affects only one person, YOU. When I look back at the sands of time, I only see a single set of footsteps. Mine. These are the steps from every part of my life, where I walked alone.

Love, Hope & Life

Hope can make you feel good,
How it works you just can't say;
Just be aware that,
It may never go the right way.

Love and life are really unfair,
May show you heaven and the next day hell;
When, the tables turn around,
Is something you can never tell.

People walk in, people walk out,
We cannot control any of it;
Each one chooses their own path,
They decide where they want to fit.

Love is a compromise,
That both need to understand;
Need to stand by each other,
To walk together hand in hand.

Nothing's black or white,
Every thing is a shade of gray;
Things may get better,
Again, they never may.

Addiction kills,
It can be a 'what' or a 'who';
Some people are like a drug,
Without them, you just can't do.

If you don't have what you want,
If you know something you can't get;
Learn to live without it,
Not necessary that you need to forget.

At the end of the day,
Everyone is gonna hurt you;
You just have to find the ones,
Who are worth getting hurt for.

Doesn't Fly too High

Apart from the two kites soaring in the sky before the beginning credentials, I don't see why this movie is called 'Kites'. Right from the title, the plot, the music, to the cast this movie is all wrong. Read on.

The Present : A wounded Hrithik, oh wait he's called 'J' in the movie, is left all wounded in a hay filled cabin in a train. The movie starts with him tumbling down the cabin. And like most cliches', before we know, someone finds him, removes the bullets from his body, and he's back on his limping feet looking for the love of his life.

The Past : Hrithik is a stunning looking dance teacher in Vegas, who also makes a living out of marrying women to get them a green card in return for money. So he's married 10 of them until now and Miss Mori turns out to be the lucky 11th. He marries her, gets her a green card and then she disappears. This part remains unexplained in the movie.

The Present : After walking miles in a desert without even a drop of water, J manages to reach the place where he saw his love for the last time. Even in the zombie state, he manages to remember that he had dropped his phone on the railway track three months ago, just before he was left there wounded. He starts hunting for the phone and as luck would have it, he finds it. Think that is too much to take? Wait, the phone has been lying around on a track for three months with trains passing all over, yet the phone remains safe and is even functional. Some phone company is beaming somewhere. On charging the phone, again with the help of someone, he finds a msg from her which says, 'I'm going. Sorry. Forget me'.

INTERVAL. This probably was the best part of the movie. No kidding.

The Past : Hrithik is teaching some sleazy moves to an even more sleazier Kangana, who by the way has no more than 10 minutes of screen presence in this movie. She plays her usual psycho character who is in love with her dance teacher. He sees her limo and jumps into her family to get insta rich. Now, where have we heard or seen that before? Kangana belongs to a mafia family where her brother and father decide to welcome their future brother/son-in-law by giving him a gun and asking him to shoot some random guy. Okay, now I'm scared of marriage. The brother btw, is getting engaged to Miss Mori aka Natasha aka Linda who is also a gold digger and who cannot speak a universal language to save her life. J sees Linda and falls in love with her knowing very well that she's getting engaged to his girlfriend's brother, but she's still his wife. Well I'm confused just as I was in the movie yesterday. J and Linda spend an evening together in Vegas, well that's where the movie is based, and are deeply in love by the time the sun sets. He doesn't understand what she says, she doesn't understand what he says; still they're in love. I wonder how they were planning on talking to each other for the rest of their lives.

The Present : J makes his way back to Vegas and for reasons best known to him he comes back to Natasha's house and thinks about the past.

The Past : Natasha's house, J and Natasha kissing. Suddenly there is a knock on the door and her beloved fiance' walks in. He's hurting her, when J decides its high time he butted in. They smash a bottle on his head, and elope in his car gifted to him by the gangster family. Well speaking about intelligence. The rest of the movie is them being chased forever, looting a bank to get some money, stealing and destroying cars, an escape in a hot air balloon, meeting her poor family and finally the love birds getting married. If the movie had ended here, it would have been much better. But Mr. Rakesh Roshan had more money to spare. They are hunted again by the scorned lover boy. J is hurt in the fight and she puts him in a train cabin filled with hay, sends him a message and scoots off in her wedding dress. All poor J can do is watch her leave him from a crack in the cabin. Noone knows where she's gone.

The Present : Okay, this is the last part of the movie. Thank God for that. J learns the truth about where she is from sources you can't imagine or would have hardly noticed initially in the movie. The movie ends in the most miserable and in the most predictable fashion. Well I'm happy that it ended and I also realise that, I've just lost 2 hours and 15 minutes of my life that I will never get back.

'Kites' or whatever is the most cliched movie I've seen. At times it felt like a classic movie from the 60's and at times it felt like the cheap stunts of a local language movie. The much hyped chemistry between Hrithik and Barbara disappoints. They both are cold and the language barrier is evident from both their faces. I honestly felt that Hrithik shared better chemistry with Kangana's brother instead.

The Cast : Hrithik is stunningly hot! His dance moves in the song 'Fire' is the only saving grace of the movie. But he's all about looks in this movie. He always over does his acting we all know that, except maybe for his 'Akbar' role. But he more than makes up for it in this one. I almost felt like I was watching the sequel of 'Main Prem Ki Diwani Hu'. Yeah, its that bad. Kangana does her usual psycho act to perfection. If she ends up a schizo in real life, please blame her producers and not her. She even matches up to Hrithik's moves in the mentioned song and hardly has more than 5 dialogues in the movie. I still don't get why she suddenly drops into Hrithik's place one night and starts cleaning it!! The much hyped Mexican beauty, Barbara Mori, is anything but beauty. She has a stunning body but much cant be said about her acting. She can't emote and is expressionless. All she does is blabber in Spanish. Boy, Spanish sure is a weird language. It sounds like soemone is hurling curses at you. She better not expect another stint in bollywood.

Boy, was the movie disappointing or what. I was really excited when I saw the first rushes. I even remember posting something about it. But as the release dates approached, I felt that it lacks lustre and I was proven right. Have seen this a million times before and yet again its packaged and displayed. Stolen bits and pieces from all possible movies. Even 'Titanic' for God's sake. I don't know why all the promotional posters show the lead couple in dancing moves. There is none in the movie. The much talked about steaming scenes were also missing. Apart from a few kissing sequences there was nothing and that too it felt like both of them were tortured into doing it. They actually should have used an Indian actress and made her character dumb or deaf. Barbara seemed like that anyway. Now that they have stolen from so many plots, they could have done this as well. Might have worked better. Anurag Basu is the hapless soul here, having being signed on to direct this one after the delightful 'Life in a Metro'. Cut yourselves some slack, stay away from this one.

I'm Still ME

I may not be the regular girl,
I can't giggle and act coy;
Differently things I see,
But I'm still me.

I may be curt and frank,
I may be blunt at times,
My words may sting strong like a bee,
But I'm still me.

I'm a changed person,
Have left a lot behind;
I'm as honest as I can be,
But I'm still me.

I can't blush nor feel shy,
To please someone I cannot lie;
I can never get weak in the knee,
But I'm still me.

I'm bold and not girly,
I don't go "so cute" on everything;
I can't get along with every 'she',
But I'm still me.

I hate watching rom-coms,
Cinderella stuff not for me;
I don't care if it is fun or free,
But I'm still me.

I'm a hardcore Leo,
But I don't need luxury and pride;
Small things can give me huge amounts of glee,
But I'm still me.

I'm crazy and insane,
A practical romantic fool;
My life may revolve around a certain 'he',
But I'm still me.

I'm also a simple girl,
Who just wants to be loved;
To everyone I might not agree,
But I'm still me.

Love means the world to me,
And my parents are my strength,
They stand by me strong like a tree,
That's why, I'm still me.

The Reader

Boon or Bane I'll never understand..

I never judge people. I have never felt the need to do so. Especially after a few drastic judgements I made a coupla years ago, I choose not to. People are the way they are. It all depends on how you see them. I always thought that when I judge people, I do it right. Turns out, I don't. So I'm not making the same mistakes again. Just going with the flow and taking it as it comes.

I have a lot of friends, but a very few close ones. I call them close because they understand me just like the way I do. I can actually read the minds of my best friends. Well, almost. Its good at times but more often than not its scary. These people are really close to my heart and I know what their each reaction, each word means. I can guess what the other person is going through, just by looking at a text/mail he/she sends. No its not obviously mentioned in the text/mail. Its just the vibe you feel when you read it. It need not be pleasant always.

Its pathetic when you actually know that what you are saying is hurting the other person, but you cant do anything about it. You can see it on their face and know what exactly is going on in their mind, but still you have to do it. At times I don't even have to look at the person, I just know what he/she is thinking when I know the situation they are in. I know how they will react when they look at a particular person or thing. I guess its just familiarity. The more you know a person, the more you understand them and the more you know their minute details. Its good I guess, but what if you can read the other person's thoughts and they are not pleasant?

Its almost like reading a book. Its really spooky when the person actually says, what you know they were thinking. Is this good? Is this called compatibility? You understand each other well, can read each others minds, can complete one anothers' sentences. Is this enough? If its positive then maybe yes. But what if you can do this and the other person is not thinking what you want them to. Also, what if you know what the other person is thinking regarding you and you don't feel the same. Its painful even when it is not your fault. Aaah, Confusing trait this one is.

Well there is also this other breed of people who take the mind reading part very seriously. They are upset for some God forsaken reason and keep mum about it. But they expect me to read their mind and solve the issue. This I hate. You have a problem, just blurt it out. Yeah I do understand you and all that but I'm not God to know everything. Such people are just annoying. Then it comes, 'You're my best friend, you don't understand me at all'. What do I do with such people?

When you know, it haunts you, when you don't, it perplexes you. No wonder Edward hated the 'mind reading' quality he possessed. I too feel like that at times. It happens to everybody I'm sure. But trust me I'd rather not know a few things. If only I could block the thoughts I can read, I would be a much happy person.

Today, Tomorrow & Everyday

I could start a fire,
With my temper flares;
You bore them silently,
Without giving me glares.
You just kissed my forehead,
And held my hand;
Oh why dint I get it then,
Why dint I understand?

Today, I'm a figure of calmth,
Only with some necessary warmth;
I hold on to my cool,
So that I don't end up a fool.
I know everyone has a point,
I've learnt to respect it;
Finally in the patient world,
I've begun to fit.

I never wanted to think,
What the other person feels;
I wanted things my way,
Not bothering if it hurts or heals.
You tried your best,
To explain things to me;
I failed to listen,
And I failed to see.

But today I understand,
Everyone feels the hurt and pain;
I don't want to be inflicting it,
I want to shower love like rain.
I see both the sides,
I accept the right when I'm wrong;
When people love the way I am today,
I cant help but feel more strong.

I could never laugh at myself,
I could never take a joke;
Yet you loved me the way I was,
And stood strong like an oak.
You did all you could,
To help me learn;
Why dint I see what you saw?
Why did I let it burn?

A good person is the one,
Who can laugh at themselves;
I've finally learnt it now,
And I feel happy like an elf.
Its always been so simple,
Yet I never believed it;
I get it all now,
Slowly, bit by bit.

You asked me to stay clear of others,
But I did not pay heed to you;
Trust me, for me they were just friends,
If they dint feel the same, what do I do?
I should have listened to your word,
Cos now I've lost my love, and my friends;
I only regret losing out on you,
And now its too late to make amends.

Today I stay on guard,
And think twice before I speak;
I clear out things on day one,
So that later it doesn't make me weak.
Today I know what you meant,
By everything that you said;
It was one hell of an eye opener,
Anyday better than anything I've read.

Maybe I had to lose you,
To be what I am today;
I was spoilt and lost then,
But today I've found my way.
This is what I always wanted to be,
Finally I've learnt to accept and see;
I'm always gonna stay this way,
For today, tomorrow and everyday.


Life has become such that,
Happiness now scares and taunts;
What if it envelopes me now,
And later it comes back and haunts.

You don't think of happiness,
When your trying so hard to montage;
You're scared to embrace it,
Fearing it might turn into a mirage.

When you've compromised with your life,
And don't let anything affect you;
It comes as a shocking surprise,
When somethings actually do.

People are addictive,
Call it like, love or hate;
You just cant seem to let go,
And you end up being the bait.

You never know how strong you are,
Until that's the only option you've got;
At that time even a speck of happiness,
Is gonna seem like an awful lot.

Happiness is what you feel,
Its not something you can choose;
You may have lost hope on the gain,
But still you have plenty to lose.

You may hurt people,
Knowing that you don't want to;
Even though its hurting you inside,
At times, its something you have to do.

Life gives you so much crap,
That joy is the last thing on the mind;
But now it seems to be changing,
Finally life is being kind.

The day seems to be nearing,
When this mirage gets to be true;
I hope it stays and never leaves,
Painting life a bright hue.

I Love You, Maa

Mom's are the people who have been taken for granted the most. Well everyone loves their mother, but how often do we say it? They brought us up, taught us everything we know today. In short we owe our life to them. Still, how many of us sit and think about the most important person in our life? We expect her to do everything for us. Cook us our favourite meal, keep our clothes neat and ready, be around us when we are ill, and take care of us in every possible way. She does it. Every single day, she does it. Then why don't we ever thank her for what she has done for us?

I'm the youngest daughter in my house. Considering the fact that we are two sisters at home, my parents always brought me up like a son. I was pampered and spoilt, like every other younger child. But my Mom kept me in check all the time. I was given every possible thing I asked for, be she saw to it that I took care of it well. She taught me the value of things and people. She isn't extremely well educated, but she saw to it that both me and my sister studied well. She took care of everything for us. I dint realise her importance until I grew up. I mean I always knew that she is the backbone of our family and we needed her the most. But you only realise her importance when she stands by you, when the whole world is against you.

Not once in my entire 23 years has she ever spanked me. She agrees to everything when I'm right, and explains things smoothly when I'm wrong. She has never enforced anything upon me till date. When I first tried my hands at cooking and turned the kitchen upside down, she smiled and said that the dish I made as the best she has ever tasted. The mess in the kitchen dint bother her much when compared to my accomplishment. She has encouraged me in every possible way. There is a generation gap yes, and I have felt umpteen times that she never understands me. I fight with her, ask her to leave me alone, but still she comes and kisses me goodnight when I'm pretending to be asleep. She works 8 hours a day, comes back and cooks for us, and yet when I wake up in the middle of the night with a slight cough, she is there carrying a cough syrup bottle in her hand. She massages my head until I drift off to sleep when I'm stuck with migraine. Gosh, I love her so much. I need to tell her this every single day.

One day in late 2008, I got a call at 4.30 am. It was my sister weeping that Mom has slipped and fallen and she has had a head injury. I was in Chennai at that time and this had happened in Bangalore. I dint know what I should do. I just wanted to be with her, I just wanted to see her. I came rushing down and couldn't rest until the doctor said that it was a minor injury and she would be fine. Still seeing her lie in that hospital bed, with tubes around her killed me. First of all I'm extremely scared of hospitals, they freak me out and this was happening. Comeon they are our mom's. We don't expect them to fall sick. Finally when she came back home 4 days later, I knew how much she meant to me. Thankfully by God's grace she is hale and healthy now.

That time I was going through the worst phase of my life. I was nearing depression and mom was sick. Still one day when I could take it no longer I burst out my heart break to her. She listened to every single word patiently and said that its okay, this will pass. Nor once did she scold me. Till today she asks me how is it going on, how am I feeling. Any issues, with work, friends or love, I feel free to tell her. She knows every single person in my life and approves of them. She stops me when she knows I'm wrong and the way she puts it, you just cant disagree with her. I don't know how they do it, but they are always right!! They care for us, that's why they are worried when small things bother us. Its very rightly said that 'Since God couldn't be with everyone, he made Mothers'.

So Maa, I just want to say that I Love you. I love you a lot and if I would consider myself lucky, if I can be half a good mother as you are. Thank You for everything you have given me. You're my strength and support. No matter what happens, no matter what I do, I know you will be around holding my hand, giving me another 'Fix It' lesson :-)

Happy Mothers' Day to all the mothers out there. You Rock!!

Thoughts Become Things

I write down the lines that appeal to me when I read. Just went through the list, and found these that had to be mentioned here. The sources are many books and not just one. But I do know which line came from which book. I'm just not gonna boast about it here :D.

-- Relationships have nothing to do with smart judgement. Sometimes you just have to get hurt.

-- You cannot prevent what you cannot predict.

-- The past is sometimes a very good place to live. Sometimes.

-- Nothing from the past is going to affect me, except in the way I want it to.

-- You cant go on being looked after all your life. Things happen to you and you've got to bear them.

-- Sometimes the best thing you can do when you find love again, is to walk away.

-- You're somewhere in the middle of friends and then you suddenly look at their faces and they're not friends anymore. They're different people, but each one is pretending.

-- Perhaps you cant trust anybody, perhaps everybody's a stranger.

-- Love comes to you in different forms. Its up to you to figure out which form should take shape.

-- God only gives you the resources. How you use them is the call you need to make.

-- Don't let your soul be ashamed of its shell.

-- I think the key for women, is to not set any limits.

-- That's the beauty of Love. Sometimes it makes you want to kill yourself.

-- Before you set your heart on anything, do examine how happy are those who already possess it.

-- No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.

-- The world breaks everyone.

-- Before you give up, think of all the reasons which made you hold on for so long.

-- Your here for a reason. Just wait until the reason shows up.

-- Everyone suffers. Some just let the world know about it.