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Showing posts from September, 2010

Freedom of Thought

Everyone has an opinion, so do I. Even though I speak 10,000 words a minute, more often than not I refrain from putting forth my opinion. If I need a suggestion or help I'd directly approach a person and ask for it. But when unwanted answers come my way I feel like ramming an iron rod right into their mouth. Today, matter of factly I realised that since yesterday, its been exactly 2 years since I've been single. Okay, that would not be the appropriate word to use. But I'd go by Katrina Kaif's statement this time; "As long as I'm not married, I'm single". So I am too, I guess. Ah well lets not prod much upon it. So when I happened to tell this to my friends(acquaintances) such was the reaction: 1) Not bad eh, two years for a girl like you! Me: :|. Seriously what do you think I am? 2) Its okay man, big deal. Someday maybe. Me: WTF! I never complained, did I? 3) Move on girl, high time. Don't you feel the need to have a boyfriend? Me: First part, yes.

I Dream

I dream, of a happy day, Where all good things come my way; A day spent with my dear friends, Talking about everything, books, guys and trends. I dream, of a successful life, Happy and content, without any strife; Independent and confident, Everything straight, nothing bent. I dream, of madness, Jumping, shouting and foolishness; Loud music and ignoring the neighbour's howl, Staying up all night jamming like an owl. I dream, of closeness, When my whole family is couched together; Laughing about old memories, With mom and dad sharing their stories. I dream, of perfection, Its you and me hand in hand; The perfect longest kiss, Sharing everything, having nothing to miss.


Life... is like a box of chocolates - a cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that no one ever asks for, nonreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So, you're stuck with mostly undefinable whipped mint crap, mindlessly wolfed down when there's nothing else to eat while you're watching the game. Sure, once is a while you get a peanut butter cup or an English toffee but it's gone too fast and the taste is fleeting. In the end, you are left with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts, which, if you are desperate enough to eat, leaves nothing but an empty box of useless brown paper. - The X-Files I always thought it was Forrest Gump! Bummed :|

Screaming Silence

There is so much that I want to say. Lots of words and frustrations pent up inside me. I write, I write a lot. I talk, I talk a lot too. But those words and feelings inside me is something that I can never pen down. It screams inside me and shakes me up to come out. But I can't get it out. Its something that someone else needs to understand. I have words, plenty of them. I even have fairly good enough talent to write, and I have the means too. But as I open up a note to write I'm overwhelmed by what I feel and can't get beyond that. There are so many things that I want to say, but when he comes in front of me my antennas are raised and it screams out caution! I'm just happy to say things that he wants to hear knowing that anything else I say may stop the verbal liaison's we have now. I'm so easily willing to let go of my cores; feelings, desires, respect for self, necessities, lust, love and am perfectly willing to put up with the hurt and the pain and the insan

Manipulating Music

This friend of mine always puts up lines or rather verses from uber romantic songs as her status messages. This has been going on since a couple of months. At times it is "If there is someone, its you", "I will do anything for your love", "Love story" and at times it is "You're gonna stand there and watch me burn" or "Beautiful Liar". She's a friend yes, but not someone whom I care for much. But as this practise continued I had to ask her what's going on. First thought on my mind was that she was in love (yet again!). Phew! The reason I say so is cos she falls in love every two days and with different people for different reasons. None of them reciprocate and she claims that she loses interest in them too. Sigh, I must win a patience award for the number of times I have listened to this. Now you see why I said that she is someone about whom I don't care much. If you thought I was prejudiced, I ain't. I do have reason

The Wife and the Whore

I ran into an age old friend last week. Actually he's a friend's friend and I've met him at a couple of get-togethers. I don't know him much but at that time (around 4 years ago) he was in a serious relationship with a particular girl. As we were making small talk I asked him how she was. He said that they were not together anymore. Then the following conversation followed. Me: Oh that's sad! Him: No, it only worked out for the best. I should have just shut up and said a polite bye and walked off. But no. My big mouth had to blurt out again. Me: Why do you say that? Him: Her character changed yaar suddenly. She was a very cheap female. Me: Hmmm (to him). [What the F***? You had a relationship with her for close to 6 years! (to myself)] Him: Girls from the north are like that only ya, they sleep around with every guy they meet. Me: (Even though it was none of my business) Oh come on, lets not generalise things. And she was your girlfriend for God's sake. Him: P

Impending Doom

After long I sit down to pen an emotional heart wrenching love poem. Had decided against it, but I just felt like it today; and I'm pretty happy with what came out. I just had to put myself in that frame of mind and voila, words began to flow! But the only problem is that I didn't feel half as bad before writing it than how I felt after reading it. As my best friend says, I seriously don't know why I do this to myself. I guess I had forgotten the past, Anyway I knew that it wouldn't last; But then came true my biggest fear, I fell more in love with him the past year. Its my fault I lost my mind, Sanity I now can't seem to find; Even brain and heart no longer bind, How could I have been so blind? Its bad that I had to go through it once, Again, how am I gonna get past it? How am I gonna extinguish? This painful fire that I've re-lit. Madness follows its own course, I've been pushed by some damned force; How do I pull myself up? Hadn't I already given up?

What happens to Leos

Well, this is what happens; Leo's have been brainwashed into believing that they are about expanse, power and that they are natural born leaders, and they will let you know it as they have a tendency to be high-minded and vocal about their opinions. Most inmates of mental asylums are Leos, where they can be seen being high minded and vocal in their padded cells. A bit harsh maybe, but I can totally imagine myself in an asylum. Reason, Leos are quirky, crazy and extremists. Not the best qualities for sanity. The sooner we realise that we are not the next best thing to God, the better. We have our own pro's yes, but then so do the other eleven. Enough said.

Mid-Monsoon Vision

Lets watch the sun shine, Come closer and be mine; Kiss me as the rays strike, Hold me and curdle my psych; Let me feel your heart beat, That sure is a nice treat; As I taste your warm breath, I sure can defeat death; The rain slightly sprays on us, We enjoy it without any fuss; The wetness brings us close, It smells sweet like a rose; The whole world comes to a still, Love overpours causing a spill; Feelings come right to the brim, You hold me until the lights dim; As we watch the sun set, We think of the day we first met; It feels like eternity since then, Its been the perfect why and when; It soon approaches dusk, We hide in each others' husk; You sing your melodious tune, To the rest of the world then I'm immune; Finally the night falls, Our heart beat penetrates the walls; Then we lie together awake, Waiting for the next day to break.

Wit for Love

Okay, So I love you. What business is it of yours anyway ;-) Read it today morning and it thrilled me! So much for cheap thrills :P

Man vs Food

An additional talent has always been a turn on when it comes to men, for me. Looks are a priority yes, but it features close to the last on my priority list. Personality, top one! I don't care much about the face as long as he has the right things at the right place and nothing extra. A moustache is unpardonable, but a day old beard gains an extra point. Height and apt weight is the biggest ever turn on. I don't like beefed up guys, nor the flimsy ones. Sleek is the word I presume. Take Ranbir Kapoor for example. Reading comes a close second. Men who read have some extra zing to them. I'm not talking geeks here, who sit with a book and glasses under every pretext. If you have the personality and you can read, then voila! A friend of mine sent me this link and it was the perfect time killer while my code took its course of two hours to run. Singing, playing an instrument or a sport is of course a turn on, but of late men who can cook has taken over the third spot. I'd

Reflecting Reality

Why must we believe that one person pretends and another does not? We all pretend that our realities are just that... Reality.

Bang on!

With a nervous breakdown approaching, I could do with any form of distraction. And today the distraction came in the form of my sister and her friends who took me to watch the Salman Khan flick 'Dabangg'. I wanted to watch that movie since I saw the first promo. And I'm so glad I did. The movie in one word is 'Superb'. Right from the first scene to the last, Salman a.k.a Chulbul a.k.a Robinhood Pandey, steals the show. I kinda have an extremely soft corner for men who can pull of crisp formals. Until now it was only Farhan Akthar, Ranbir Kapoor and a person in real life who had made it to the list. But now we have a Dabangg entry in the form of apna Sallu Bhai who looks sexy, sleek and mature. Be it his common man formals or his Khakhi policeman uniform. I normally don't like men who have a moustache, but I'm willing to make an exception for Mr.Pandey here. Oh yeah, I did make an exception earlier too for Surya in 'Kaakha Kaakha'. I guess the moustac

Hell and Back

Sometimes you breathe love, Sometimes you breathe fire; No matter what you do, You'll be my only desire. They say I'm crazy, Maybe what they say is true; I need to be saved, No one can do that but you. Sometimes I lose myself, Sometimes I lose my soul; I need to feel complete, Only you can make me feel whole. I need you in my life, I need you till the final act; I feel that I'm tied to you, Bound by vows and sealed by a pact. Some days it feels uneasy to live, Some days its hurts to pretend; Some days its all about the pain, And those are the days that never end. Days get more longer, And the night passes with tears; At times it feels better to give up, Rather than to live with these fears. I would do anything for you, I'd run right into hell and back; I would do anything for your love, I love you and that's a fact.


Few of the many words going through my mind this very second. Blank Empty Hollow Crazy Insane Happy In love Away from light Solitude Madness Passionless Eternal darkness Bored Hungry for love Longing to be touched Scared heart beats Empty hearts Screaming voices Blind sights Bright blinding colors Water gushing Tear drops Wet sand Friendship Connections Sentiments Respect Duties Make do Satisfaction Bad luck Hope Music Charm Inner peace Desires Void Impending doom I feel so disconnected at times. From the world, and from myself.


Seriously, life never remains the same always. Things change so frantically that a million things have past before you digest the first one. Thankfully things have been quite pleasant for me of late, but as usual something has to be present at the back of your mind which has to jolt you from your happiness at the worst possible time. Sigh! Strange are the ways of life. Do you all believe in jinx? Well I do. I mean I've begun to. Just when I'm trying to think in a straight(possibly) path, something goes wrong and the focus shifts to other petty things and moves far away from the actual path. Once, twice I can ignore. But when it happens more than twice, you are kinda forced to think that, that path is never meant for you. Life pushes you towards the path day by day, spinning perfect webs around you. You are so caught up in it that all you see is the distant rainbows and the bright orchids. Some invisible cords pull you towards it and you get lost hoping for a better tomorrow. Yo

Just Friends?

This is my take on the age old debate, "Can a guy and a girl be just friends"? Note : This post is purely based on my opinions and my experiences and is absolutely not generalised. So can a girl and a guy be just friends? Yes. Only if, Both of them are in successful relationships with other people. (And obviously your partner needs to be ok with the fact that you're best friend belongs to the opposite sex; and this is highly unlikely) If the girl is in a relationship with another guy and the best friend and the boy friend get along well, or the other way round. Either of them is a homo-sexual. No kidding, my sister has a gay best friend, or like Mahi of Mahi way. These are probably the only ways a girl and a guy can be just friends. By friends here I mean, close friends and not mere acquaintances. Friends who know each other extremely well. Know each others likes and dislikes, fun and fears, interests and can talk anything under the sun. Not the people whom you are in bas

Woody Arjun

"He is so wondrously wooden that he could give the finest mahogany a solid complex" ~ NDTV Film Critic, On Arjun Rampal's character in We are Family . Its a pity, I was so damn looking forward to watch him on big screen after Raajneeti. Not too sure if I want to watch it now, but if I do I'll surely come out with my opinion on him. P.S: I don't think it matters if he can act or not, as long as he manages to look this good!


First of all, I have a big reason to worry. I'm writing a lot about psychotic disorders and it kinda scares me. First sadism and now, paranoia. Some say that it is better to be dead than paranoid and some others agree to the other way round. I guess its something that inevitably comes with care and concern or the love for oneself and others. I'm not talking about being paranoid about dying out here. Obviously everyone is scared of death and that's almost certainly the only thing everyone wants to adjourn. That's a natural tendency. How do I describe this weird kind of fear? Okay let me give an example then. Yesterday, the person whom I care about the most went M.I.A. When I sent a text, there was no reply. I tried calling, it said unreachable. Freaked the hell out of me. You see, this person travels by a bike and is known to stay out until late nights so then, unconsciously a pessimistic thought is sown into your head. I wouldn't say that this is beyond any logic, b


God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. That's all I ask.


This is an excerpt from the book "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. It struck me most because the below stanza's depict my life to a certain extent. "Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never even dared to admit that you wanted - an emotional speed ball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with the hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is withheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but who now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore - despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free ). Next stage finds you skinny and shaky in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your ne

The way YOU make me FEEL

You're not an actor, Nor are you a star; You don't own a mansion, Or drive a fancy car; But my love is not a material, Or something that I want to trade; I love you for what you are, And not for a score or grade. You're not the one who can charm, Or the one for flattery and praise; You're not the one for constant sweet talk, Or the one to use a cheeky phrase; Love maybe blind, But it surely has sense, What I feel for you, Is something deeply intense. You may not be drop dead gorgeous, Or the one with a sculpted bod; You may not ooze magnetism, Or epitomise the Greek God; But when you smile, You light up my life; And when you sing to me, Its worth all the strife. You're presence around me, Takes me to higher highs; Nothing else matters then, With you, I feel like I'm in the skies; No matter where you are, Somewhere close or far apart; You are the only one, Who has voyaged to the centre of my heart. You may not be perfect, But you are somewhere close; You're l