Just Friends?

This is my take on the age old debate, "Can a guy and a girl be just friends"?

Note : This post is purely based on my opinions and my experiences and is absolutely not generalised.

So can a girl and a guy be just friends?

Yes. Only if,

  • Both of them are in successful relationships with other people. (And obviously your partner needs to be ok with the fact that you're best friend belongs to the opposite sex; and this is highly unlikely)
  • If the girl is in a relationship with another guy and the best friend and the boy friend get along well, or the other way round.
  • Either of them is a homo-sexual. No kidding, my sister has a gay best friend, or like Mahi of Mahi way.

These are probably the only ways a girl and a guy can be just friends.

By friends here I mean, close friends and not mere acquaintances. Friends who know each other extremely well. Know each others likes and dislikes, fun and fears, interests and can talk anything under the sun. Not the people whom you are in basic talking terms. By close I mean close.

I did have a few close guy friends until some ago. But now its close to none. It feels so weird at times. These are the people who meant a lot to you at some point of time, but now the way you look at them and the way they look at you is so different. I'm always thinking inside, "What happened to us, we were best friends for God's sake?" and he tells me on the outside, "Why can't you understand my feelings?" Its happened umpteen times, as I helplessly watch my best friends drift away and turn into strangers. Even if they stay, the weird awkwardness will make you want to wish that they had left.

I guess its easy to fall in love with someone whom you are close to. I too fell helplessly in love with my best friend 5 years ago. But thankfully for me, the feelings were mutual and we had amazing times together. It works in great ways if the feelings are mutual. Comeon, nothing like marrying your best friend. But if either of them is not in that place, then that's called asking for trouble. If the other person doesn't feel the same way, then you should respect that fact and act like nothing has ever happened. What angers me is that some people (especially guys) are willing to ruin a friendship anticipating a relationship. The choice they give is "Everything or Nothing". When you try to reason, its always the "Cannot look at you just as a friend" crap.

I mean yes, I do respect their feelings, but they need to respect mine too right. Friends are a really important part of one's life and even if one goes missing there is a void which is impossible to fill. I say impossible because, each person is different. Each person was important to me in some way or the other. Like if one was the ever listening one, there was the other who gave me awesome advices that worked all the time. Or the one who criticised almost every piece of my work, but secretly loved it, to the one who always said "You're the best friend I could ask for". So each person leaves with an empty crest and I can't do anything but cope up with it.

So its pretty much established I guess. A guy and a girl can perhaps be friends, but can never ever be close or best friends. Somewhere, sometimes the feelings automatically change from either side and things can get awkward. But if both the best friends manage to cultivate and nurture the same feelings then nothing like it. I would love it, if I could fall in love with a best friend and get married to him (Provided he feels the same).

No wonder, God had to create two sexes :-)

11 comments:

  1. "I would love it, if I could fall in love with a best friend and get married to him"

    My life, in your words, put in a nutshell :o)

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  2. pretty nice and sensible stuff :)

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  3. @Prashanth, Lucky you!
    @deshpande, Thanks :)

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  4. oh you forgot one more thing a guy and a girl can be best friends when the distance between them is 108,910 miles and they can communicate with something called a glazatron ! :).

    hope steve jobs sees this blog and reads this comment, he just might start working on it!! :)

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  5. I don't think they can be just friends even then.. Heard of 'Distance makes the heart grow fonder'??

    Interesting thought though.. Fingers crossed in the anticipation of Mr.Jobs visiting my blog!! :)

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  6. indeed the heart grows fonder more the distance. so i really hope, however irrational it sounds, that Mr Jobs does make a visit to your blog.:)

    keep me informed :)

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  7. I hope so too..

    Don't worry you'll get to share the credit if he does ;)

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  8. hehehe.. "Cannot look at you just as a friend" crap" - hilarious and so darn true! :D

    so no more guy best friends, heh? :D

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  9. Hahaha.. Definitely not for a really loooooong time :D

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  10. A well balanced post on a controversial topic! :) Reading you is like you talking to me..

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  11. Thanks wildflower.

    That's exactly how I feel when I read you :)

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