The Wife and the Whore

I ran into an age old friend last week. Actually he's a friend's friend and I've met him at a couple of get-togethers. I don't know him much but at that time (around 4 years ago) he was in a serious relationship with a particular girl. As we were making small talk I asked him how she was. He said that they were not together anymore. Then the following conversation followed.

Me: Oh that's sad!
Him: No, it only worked out for the best.

I should have just shut up and said a polite bye and walked off. But no. My big mouth had to blurt out again.

Me: Why do you say that?
Him: Her character changed yaar suddenly. She was a very cheap female.
Me: Hmmm (to him). [What the F***? You had a relationship with her for close to 6 years! (to myself)]
Him: Girls from the north are like that only ya, they sleep around with every guy they meet.
Me: (Even though it was none of my business) Oh come on, lets not generalise things. And she was your girlfriend for God's sake.
Him: Please... Don't ever associate her with me.
Me: Okay fine. Sorr......
Him: Damn her, slept with me; So she would sleep with anyone else.

And like pretending to do a favour on me: How's your life?

Me: :| , Pretty good thanks. I need to leave now, take care.
Him: You too, have fun!

Me: (To myself) Fun??!?... Oh whatever, Run Soumya run!

And me being me, this scene played in my head like every minute for the next few days. Its kinda disturbing how someone can talk about someone they love(d) in such a demeaning way. I don't want to judge him because I don't know what exactly went wrong with their relationship and honestly I don't care either. I'm not a feminist per se, but you cannot talk about any woman like that. If you loved her at once, the least you can do is respect her private moments that she shared with you and not talk about it to some random (almost) stranger.

Pre-marital sex is a common issue these days. And I see no harm in it. As long as the people involved in it are aware of the repercussions and are using necessary safety measures and it is behind closed doors. Sex is a natural phenomenon and is not something to boast about. Someday, sooner or later every one of us is gonna get there. Its between two people, married or not, and is better left private. In this case, the girl had a physical relationship with her boyfriend. Until then she was fine and the soon to be wife. He left her and she moved on. Now suddenly she becomes the whore?

The damned Indian culture still considers the entire act of sex as taboo. If they still think that sex is only for producing an off spring, then you gotta be kidding me! That's the reason why pre-marital sex is considered un-ethical. Next comes the discrimination. Even if two people are involved in it, it always sums down to the girl being of "bad character". If she sleeps with a man before marriage she's the whore, and if its the same after marriage she's the wife? Personally, I don't blame either of them. Just leave it at that. But no, its a pity that no matter what happens, the guy always can get away with it and the woman is looked down upon. I've seen cases where the guy has had his share of fun in the city with multiple women but needs a virgin wife from the village hand picked by his momma dearest. Talk about being shallow!

Sex is not just for procreation but much more than that. It is an attachment between two people and should remain just between them. Having slept around with millions is not gonna make a guy or a girl more "happening" rather than if they were a virgin. So many people, especially males are essentially disturbed if they are a virgin. Of late most women too. Their need is just to let other people know about their conquests and nothing more. Max to max a self satisfaction maybe.

Guys, If a girl who loves you is willing to "do it" with you, its only means that she loves you and cares. Not because she is a whore. If she is one, then there is a male equivalent for that too!

4 comments:

  1. I know such jerks too. They are not worth any thought.
    That apart, don't you find the conflict amazing? People who are in a relationship so want to do it because that gives them a feeling that it's complete. But simultaneously they start suspecting that, 'if he/she can do it with me, he /she can do it with someone else too!'
    The fabric of trust and understanding is very delicate. So delicate that the moment you lay your finger on it, it could break.

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  2. I so agree.. But I guess nothing can be done about it. People are after all people!

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  3. look girls , there are jerks and there are men. so be careful with whom you associate!! :)

    listen to james brown singing "it's a man's world":) you just might have a better opinion about the weaker sex!:)

    i'm just trying to keep it light ! don't throw the pointed heels at me:). thank god there's no icons that depict "shoes being thrown" at men!:)

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  4. Ah well, stop getting worked up if you aren't one!!

    The minute I get such such an icon, I'm gonna put it up.

    Let me be clear here. Not all men are jerks. I know some awesome men too :)

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