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Is it Me?

So I was having a chat with this guy today. A good friend you can say. Hmmm, I probably like him much more than how much I should like a friend, but still. Well, I'm kinda fascinated by him of late, or so I thought! Man, was I in for a surprise. So we're talking normally and he matter of factly mentions that there is this another girl and he likes her and all that jazz. I know for a fact that he likes me, or liked me until sometime ago at least, and today this. I was taken aback yes, but it was only momentary. I started asking him about her, what she does, how she looks and all that. And he took his own time to spin a tale about how they met and other blah blah.

This went on for quite sometime until he tells me that it was all a fragment of his imagination and he was just testing my reaction. I was like bleh, what for? And then there I sat, talking to myself that here is a guy whom I think I like. 'Like', extra emphasis on the word. Yet, it doesn't seem to bother me a least bit that he's talking about another girl. Or the fact that he likes someone else. Seriously, what's with me? There broke the bubble and out came a straight talk and we settled on being best buddies for life. Status quo to remain sealed.

The funny thing is that all my female friends are smitten by him and I think that he's like any other guy I know. No big a deal! I've seen woman drooling at him when we walk in together to any place, and I'm like, him? Why? Seriously? Has my past relationship screwed me so bad, or is it that I fail to see what others do? Do I even want to see anything else? This question so far has not been answered and I choose not to too. For quite sometime at least.

There has always been something weird about me. Weird or special, potato-potahto! I'm so different that at times I feel that I'm from another planet all together. I'm not conventionally beautiful or pretty. I'm not fair, infact I lean a lot toward the dusky side. I know I'm good, but I also know that there is nothing great about me. Politeness is a practised skill and diplomacy runs in my blood. I'm right there, curt, on your face. I can't act shy, can't praise others, can't fall for flattery, cant try too hard to please nor do I care about what people talk about me. Or anybody else for that matter. Yet, I've had more than my share of attention and people often see things in me that I always fail to see. Someone once actually told me that he likes my innocence and that had me rofling for days. No kidding, innocent and me? Yeah right!

Woman around me drool over Hrithik, Ranbir, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise while an Abhay Deol, Prateik Babbar, Rahul Bose, Hugh Jackman or Christian Bale do it for me. Chitrangadha Singh and Sonakshi Sinha top my list while many are fighting over Katrina and Aishwarya. A plain black tee is my saviour anyday when compared to a floral frilly top. Cappuccino anyday, when compared to a chocolate smeared mocha frappe. Strappy flats for morning, noon and night, while the high heels can go take a walk. What is with me? Seriously, is it me or the rest of the world? Okay, I hear ya!


  1. ummm...cant really answer ur question coz i kinda have the same one (??)
    seriously rahul bose, black tee, strappy flats, cappuccino... i can relate to all of it!

  2. When is your Birthday Soumya? A black tee is your gift :o)

  3. This is totally YOU my dear and there is nothing wrong in being different. Embrace these differences. Im kinda WOWed by your personality while you are questioning it!! Chillax and get going :)


  4. I refuse to believe the second last para, specially about flattery, they say, It is hard to resist a flatterer who gets it right.

    It's good that the line is already drawn, helps keep check. :)

    And you were taken aback? Momentary though, but still you did. It's ingrained, in us.

    Interesting read.

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  5. @Chandana, Same situation eh?
    U can? Leo are you?

    @Chandrika, Relax kiddo!
    Things will be fine soon.

    @Prashanth, Thanks!
    8th of August and I'd like a Versace this time :P

    @Sukanya, Some people call different as weird!
    I'm embracing every part of my life and trying hard to blend into the regular world. Wowed?!? Believe me, its not half as good as you think it is.

    @BA, you got it right there!
    Its very hard to find someone who gets it right. Very few manage to touch the right cords.

    Lines need to be drawn, always. Momentary I know, but it was more of a shock than anything else.



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