Its almost the end of the month and I have churned out just 7 posts?
*Hangs her head in shame*
Been so caught up that I even forgot to put a picture on my previous post. Sigh! Nope, I can't afford this anymore. I need regular moments of insanity from now on. So I decided to pamper my blog and give the virtual lioness a makeover. Good one eh? I was still hooked on to the coffee template I had earlier, but that damned thing posed more problems than one. Comments, date format, width adjustments, you name it and there was an issue with it. But this one blew me away. Lets face it, I've always had a thing for dark shades and this one gives me a perfect balance of a journal and my love for black, coffee and a choco chip cookie. I'm satisfied with this one :)
Nothing bothers me anymore. I'm in a very happy place. For once, my personal and professional life has been on an high for more than a fortnight. I'm enjoying the responsibilities, the stress, the tension, the rush and the results. I'm getting to learn so much. Be it about the damn telecom world or life in general. The world has always been great, I was the mis-fit. I've always thought otherwise, but now I know. How can the world be wrong? Its been around for gazillion centuries now. I'm working hard to try to fit in. I'm succeeding, one step at a time.
I'm taking out time for myself now. I need to work on myself a lot. And being single had never seemed like a boon before, but now I'd call it the silver lining. It has shown me so much that I can't even begin to thank God for putting me through such stuff. As they say whatever happens, happens for a reason. Cannot agree more. I still believe in love, but its no longer a priority. Shona is dead, for good! I'm holding back from this feeling for as long as I can. My friends tell me to give it a chance, but I have absolutely no room for it now. Nor do I have the energy for it. I'm finally in the place where I have only dreamt of being, and I don't want to do anything stupid and fuck this up.
I'm suddenly fascinated by Buddhism and have become a firm believer of Karma. Seriously, you only get what you give. That's all there is to life. I did things that hurt someone, and got back pain in return. What else was I expecting anyway? At times, there is comfort in the truth. Now, I know. Acceptance, mistakes and understandings maketh life. How you take it and what you do is up to you. Life is never unfair, nor is God. God is very fair and gives us exactly what we deserve.
Hope and faith still remain, but peace is something that you need to find within yourself. Oh God, look at me talking like this! What exactly happened to me? I seriously don't know. But its working for me in a weird way. Patience is on an all time high and that's an achievement in itself for me. 2011 seems to be a year of travel for me. I've been travelling so much and I still can't stop. I'm off this weekend too. Whoever said distractions are temporary relief. They maybe, but the after effects last long. Really long.
And on a totally different note,
Years ago, I found you and chose you
It has kept me going even if it made my blood spill
That's a part of life I'd never change
Even today, I choose you still