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Showing posts from March, 2011

Just the way YOU are

When I close my big black eyes Your face comes to my mind When I go deeper into my soul Only traces of you I find When I clasp my fists I feel the presence of your hand When I look towards my side Very close I find you stand When I take a breath Your aura I seem to smell When I think of your touch Its more amazing than I can tell When I bite my lip I can taste your scent And when you kiss me tight I know, you are for me meant When I brush my hair I feel your fingers through it Slowly coming down my neck Towards my nape bit by bit When I look at myself I see you gaping from far Always stay closer to me You shall always be my star When I lay back down Your memories get me high Taking me to higher peaks Making me want to fly When I hear your voice My eyes are filled with hope I need no further intoxication My love, you are my dope When I'm down in the dumps I'm woken up by your smile Your arms pull me out From crap into the love pile I can dance to your invisible chords

Ssshh!

For some weird reason, I am very happy today. Life is still the same, as I type out this post from my work laptop. But I cant seem to stop smiling. Something feels good inside. Like a tiny ray of hope rising up with each passing second. Like a million reasons to smile in every blink. I hear random music and that makes me groove with it. An invisible hand holding mine, as I walk alone. Like some aura of hope assuring me that everything will be alright. I'm not complaining. I love these unexpected bouts of tiny drops of happiness. I know for sure, what ever has to happen now will be for good. I'll blindly accept it. Sometimes it takes more strength to sit and go through it, rather than stand up and try to fight a losing battle. I'm fine. I will be fine. I'll stay quiet for now and let this feeling take over me. Aahatein, Ho Rahin Teri Dil Ke Dar Pe Mere, Tu Yahin Hai Kahin Kabhi Mere Khwab Sa, Kabhi Uljhe Jawaab Sa, Ke Chanda Mein Bhi Daag Sa, Mere Jaisa Tu Ke Dari

You take my breath away

I can watch you forever Trying to conceal the lust Fighting to hold myself back When touching you seems like a must My fingers yearn for long Hoping to run through your hair I ache to get into your arms But I only can get to stare The curve of my lips Thirsts for your touch Longing for your venom I cant ask for anything much At times the hunger builds Craving for your presence When I breathe, I smell you Like some over powering essence The taste of your tongue I can't seem to get enough I'm awed by the way you move Slow, deep and sometimes rough Trying to stay away from you Is the hardest thing ever Even to stay an inch apart I need all the will power Your mesmerising effect Plunges and mixes deep within Pushing me to the extremes Of committing every sin You give me the strength To resist every other temptation But when it is you I lose myself To God's most alluring creation Your warmth, your breath, your beat I can bask in them night and day One glance towards yo

Alive

Sweet pain. Smiles. Memories. History. The look. The touch. The feel. The warmth. The tears. The brushing of hands. The stolen stares. The forbidden kiss. The lingering intoxication. The thoughts. The hope. The truth. The acceptance. The LOVE. You make me come alive.

Smoke - II

Smoke - I As it penetrates in slowly I'm taken to a happy place Where everything seems good And bad tends to erase When all the words fail And feelings tends to poke When death pulls me close I come alive with smoke The bitterness feels sweet When that's all you seem to get The bottled out miserable agony With smoke, out you let The seeped in colors Are all now in a haze Coming close to a mingling black Leaving me out in a solid daze The moving patterns of smoke Seems to bring a smile and a glow Just like the way it aimlessly moves If only life would so smoothly flow When you hit the bottomest low Smoke seems to take you high There is no reasoning out here There is no how, when or why When void and vacuum Seem to be the best of words When life moves on without destination Smoke then comes out in herds It doesn't intoxicate anymore It only makes everything feel alright I like the way smoke stands out In the darkest of the dark night When nothing goes your way Stre

Faking It

Its kind of amusing to watch how people can fake their entire lives. I see a new drama unfold around me every single day. Yes, not an exaggeration. Every single day means that. Pretense seems to be the new fad now. When lives are crumbling down to bits, people try to put up a smooth exterior. Why don't they understand that the people who have seen the worst of them, will not fall for it. If anything, it only makes it worse. If you're not happy with something, just get out of it. Or atleast try to do something about it. Hypocrites and sycophants would be underrated words to describe such people. I know a girl who excels in this art. She's stunning herself. Wouldn't need anything to attract attention towards her. But no, she put out this fake 'cool and hip' exterior when compared to her sweet and down town self. I did try to understand her initially, but after a few failed attempts I gave up. If it works for her, then so be it. Some people do everything to make

Fire & Ice

Screw the patience. If I hurt you, believe you me, you asked for it. If I appear cold, that's only because you don't seem worthy enough of my reaction. Last night, I just asked myself as to when was I the happiest? 5 years ago was the reply. Now that that part of happiness has been flushed down the drain I chose to ignore it. Memories bring back a lot of pain, loads of it. I just realised that it hurt less to not care. So here we are. I again asked myself when was I the happiest? This time the reply was 'Always, until the last 3 years'. That meant I was happy even before the last 5 years. Oh hell, yes I was. So lets go back there. I was immature, short tempered, spoilt, arrogant and probably everything that I am not now. But still, I was happy then. Really really happy. That's all I want now. Even if it means me going back to the old me. The tamed lioness is always called a faithful bitch. I somehow prefer the fierce tyrant I was. I'd rather spew fire than

Off

I'm confused. Damned hell I'm confused. I took off the previous post I wrote, cos I'm not too sure I meant it. Too much was going on in life, way too many frustrations and it all didn't come out in a good way. For reasons best known to God, all I could think of today was the damned post. It kept playing back n forth in my tiny little head. Kept disturbing me and got me out of work much earlier than I planned to. I wanted to take it off. I had to take it off. But why did I write it if I didn't intend to keep it? I'm not the one to do that. Why? It gets more confusing by the second. Something's troubling me. And deeply. I need time off. I need some time to think and figure out life. I need time to sort out and prioritise things. I need some space. I need a break from life. Not from work and stress. From life. What do I do?

Broken, Not Shattered

Note to self: Thou shall stay away from blogspot whilst drunk. Still better, Thou shall stay away from any communicating device while not in senses. Gosh, look at my last two posts? Shame on me! No seriously, shame on me. If I could, I'd slap myself now. But I don't believe in hitting a woman so I'd leave it at that. Damn, damn and more damn! Trust me, alcohol combined with an overdose of pms always gets the worst outa you. I need to think twice, okay maybe thrice before I gulp down a drink now. Better safe than sorry. I don't like to justify myself so I'd let the posts be for now. Thou shall not make such a mistake again! I'm back from another short vacation and am kinda refreshed. Well almost. I was on leave yesterday and spent some quality time at home with myself. And me being me went through a whole cycle of thought process. I think, well I know, that I've been divided into parts. Not a couple, but several of them. A part of me hates the fact that I

Love Ruined Me

And that's all I have to say.

Flow

The only colors that I can differentiate oflate is that of red and white. Wine sure is bottled poetry. I'm stuffing myself with the words. Maybe someday, someday, they will just flow.