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Broken, Not Shattered

Note to self: Thou shall stay away from blogspot whilst drunk.
Still better, Thou shall stay away from any communicating device while not in senses.

Gosh, look at my last two posts? Shame on me! No seriously, shame on me. If I could, I'd slap myself now. But I don't believe in hitting a woman so I'd leave it at that. Damn, damn and more damn! Trust me, alcohol combined with an overdose of pms always gets the worst outa you. I need to think twice, okay maybe thrice before I gulp down a drink now. Better safe than sorry. I don't like to justify myself so I'd let the posts be for now. Thou shall not make such a mistake again!

I'm back from another short vacation and am kinda refreshed. Well almost. I was on leave yesterday and spent some quality time at home with myself. And me being me went through a whole cycle of thought process. I think, well I know, that I've been divided into parts. Not a couple, but several of them.

A part of me hates the fact that I de-stress with alcohol.
A part of me is craving for that sip of wine this very moment.

A part of me is trying hard to meet the deadlines and do well at work.
A part of me wants to throw everything and run away.

A part of me wants to bask in solitude for a while.
A part of me wants to go on a holiday every month.

A part of me wants to save money and have a huge bank balance.
A part of me wants to buy all the things I desire.

A part of me misses my best friend whom I haven't seen in more than a month.
A part of me hates him for failing to understand me.

A part of me has become cynical about love.
A part of me wants to fall in love again.

A part of me believes in never looking back.
A part of me agrees on a few U-turns here and there.

A part of me enjoys the attention I'm getting.
A part of me is scared of any kind of intimacy.

A part of me is happy with the way things are.
A part of me is silently wishing for more.

A part of me is getting over him.
A part of me still cries when I think of him.

A part of me wants to move on.
A part of me is telling me to hold on.

A part of me is feeling traces of sentiments.
A part of me has become comfortably numb.

A part of me knows that things are not gonna be good always.
A part of me still smiles inspite of all that.

And that part, puts all the other parts to shame.

I'm a true blooded lioness. I win. Always!


  1. way to go girl! Love your confidence... :D
    Glad to see you've bounced back....
    I think everybody goes through this kind of internal conflict... at least i could relate to it a lot!

  2. loved your post...
    And you know while crossing many tunnels of loneliness its nice to meet familiar strangers...

    great you are coping so well, actually vacationing helps a lot being there done that i can say that...
    enjoy life have fun.
    wish u luck and love

  3. Nice post..dont we all have those conflicting parts within us!

  4. I could relate to this post. We all are inconsistent and puzzled.

    Goodluck with your life.

  5. Strength is thy virtue, and thou shall be paid in due, for all the little battles fought, scared and won.

    Yet a part of me (it would be a chunk, not a small part) thinks that you can do it, and just as you said, you'll win.

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  6. @Chandana,
    Thank you so much :). Can relate to this eh? Just make sure the right parts of you take priority then!

    @Rolling Stone,
    Thanks. You have no clue as to how many familiar strangers I've met. Vacationing helps yeah, will be off again soon.

    Thank you for the wishes. Trust me, I wish you the same.

    Thanks. We all do, yes!!

    Welcome to my blog! And thank you for your wishes.

    :D :D. Talk about motivation! I'll win, I'm sure of that.

    Thou thanks thee :)


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