Faking It


Its kind of amusing to watch how people can fake their entire lives. I see a new drama unfold around me every single day. Yes, not an exaggeration. Every single day means that. Pretense seems to be the new fad now. When lives are crumbling down to bits, people try to put up a smooth exterior. Why don't they understand that the people who have seen the worst of them, will not fall for it. If anything, it only makes it worse. If you're not happy with something, just get out of it. Or atleast try to do something about it.

Hypocrites and sycophants would be underrated words to describe such people. I know a girl who excels in this art. She's stunning herself. Wouldn't need anything to attract attention towards her. But no, she put out this fake 'cool and hip' exterior when compared to her sweet and down town self. I did try to understand her initially, but after a few failed attempts I gave up. If it works for her, then so be it. Some people do everything to make themselves feel good. Having said that, I realised that I'm no different. Yes, call me a hypocrite if you may.

Last night as I was talking to a friend he told me that I'm one of the most happiest person he's met. He actually mockingly called me happy singh. I was like bummed out. If he knew the truth then he'd get the shock of his life. I do put up a fake exterior, but not in terms of the person I am. I'm blunt, frank and honest and that's exactly what I put out to the world. I'm not a typical girl who goes 'woooo' about everything. I'm called a tomboy most of the times and I have no qualms about it, cos that's how I am.

The fake exterior that I put out is that of a happy soul, when at present I'm anything but that. It sometimes is easy to lie and say that everything is okay, rather than give out an explanation. Its easy to smile and dodge most of the times. I live behind a mask of my own, and I have no problems accepting it now because everyone does that. I read a quote that said that 'Be kind to people, everyone is fighting a hard battle inside'. Was just a quote then, means life now.

No one can heal you. No one will fight the battle for you. Its all up to us. Its all up to me now to live my life, the way I want to. I know things have not been good oflate, but I know I'll get past this. I will get past this. The rampant down has to rise up sometime. I've seen lower lows and highest of highs. This is just a phase and I'm sure that this too shall pass. The year started of brilliantly. If it did not have these tiny glitches maybe I would have taken it for granted. Like they say a smooth life is not a good life. You need to go through crap to appreciate life. Yes, you do.

Well I'm just gonna wait for the silver lining now. And next time when someone asks me how I'm doing and when I say I'm doing great, I'll no longer be faking it.

3 comments:

  1. I have noticed that the sadder or more shakeable I am inside, happier or stronger I try to show to the world.

    If I am at peace with myself, then I dont feel this desire to put up any face

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  2. Aren't we all hypocrites somewhere?
    I second with Rajita's comment...we all are like this somewhere!
    And as you yourself said...this too shall pass...Amen to that!!

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  3. @Rajita, That's exactly what I do too. Human nature maybe..

    @Mansi, we all are like this right? It shall pass I know. Soon..

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