Love aaj Kal


Naah this is not a review of that crappy movie. Actually the movie was good enough, but was eerily similar to my life story so I chose to not like it. I've been wanting to write about this for quite sometime now. Although I had sworn to myself to never write about love again, today I feel like it.

I spent almost all of my college life being in a relationship, like most of us do. It gives a weird thrill and honestly it is an 'in' thing during college life. What happens after that nobody really cares. But that love was the best phase of life. Juvenile maybe, but it was beautiful. Bunking classes to meet, stolen kisses, careless whispers and what not. Sigh, that was life. That was love.

But look at what has happened to love now. People now seem to make a mockery out of it. Infidelity, affairs, friends with benefits, open relationships, casual dating and flings seem to rule and work. The way my relationship ended turned me into a commitment phobe. Its always nice to have someone around but the minute it tends to get serious I choose to run away. Its sad but that's me. They say that most of us are victims of situations and as it turns out, I'm one too.

There is no harm in getting into a casual relationship provided both of them are aware of it. I have nothing against flings or friends with benefits, provided it is with one person at a time and both are aware as to what is happening. Its easy to get involved in this day and age, but somewhere lines need to be drawn. Love now is not about chocolates and flowers, its about dating first to see if things work out and then going ahead with a relationship. In a weird way it seems to make sense to me. No point in giving friendship a different name and destroying the very root when things don't work out. Practicality as it is called. It is foolish in some way taking the beauty out of love, but honestly I don't feel that the 'butterflies in stomach' type of love exists anymore. Rather, we don't let it exist.

I have seen married people sleep around with colleagues and I do have friends who have been a part of many one night stands but care two hoots about it. For them life is all about being happy and staying happy irrespective of whether it is with one person or more. They seem happy so I don't question it. Nor do I want to judge them. Its their life and they chose to live it that way. Good for them.

I have always lived life on my terms. It may be wrong, but if I feel that it is alright I go ahead with it. After mourning for about three years, love now seems like an alien concept to me. Trust, compatibility and mutual respect don't seem to matter anymore. Its all about having fun now for however long it lasts. Nobody has to get hurt. Its liberating to not get emotionally involved with someone I'm sure, but the question is for how long is that going to last?

16 comments:

  1. Ahhh soumya I agree with every word of it...True love is lost some where..now people dont waste their time on something that is nt giving them any benefits...

    hmmmm not for that long..you are going to get tired of it really soon...we women strive for commitment...we want to get settled down..it cant be all fun and no commitment all your life..aint it? you will defntly like to settle down some day..and for that day..i wish you all the best..I truly wish you get some body compatible to your way of thinking..trust me..when it comes to real life nothng matters more then compatiablty...i have seen pple who are madly in love bt nt compatble in trouble....you can survive if you have compatblty with your partner if nt love..pyar tou ho he jata hai uger bunda bunday ka putter ho tou;p

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  2. Hello. :-)

    This is my first visit to your blog. Your thoughts made me remember one of my old posts which I wrote on similar lines. Maybe you would like to have a look at it.

    http://mindzpeak.blogspot.com/2009/09/decision-or-emotion.html

    You have a nice blog here. Hope to read more from you. :-)

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  3. I second you but then again i would say when it comes to love we have become more practical. I am not talking bout flings and adultery. I am talking about love as such. Its not that i dont love him but i dont let myself risk everything. I am just like any other girlfriend, so in love and the man loves me back but we keep our feet firmly attached to the ground. I dont believe in mushyness to the point of death and making so many sacrifises which you later regret. After marriage its a totally different concept though

    Nice read my girl!

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  4. call me old stone age but i find it hard to believe couples can be 'involved' more than once and not have an emotional connect. But I guess people have their own ways to view it.
    And about trust, you are so right. :) if you don't trust the right person, you might get your heart shattered (With all the cheating that has become so normal) :)

    Lovely interesting post. :)

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  5. Although, I have never been in a relationship(i.e. mutually ;)), I find it very eerie that I seem to agree with your views totally :(

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  6. Hedonists dese ppl b called... nice if u plan to try it bt this is lyk a credit card, u have to pay later...

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  7. I concur Soumya, Girls want commitment & guys want everything apart from this lil word. Name me an introvert but I like my world that way. It’s always been hard to judge the species called men, their wants & needs both lies at different edges of life.

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  8. @Soumya - Well such kind of people have always existed. Its only that these things have become more accepted now

    Likewise, true lovers also exist today. Its not an emotion that can disappear forever.

    @Sonia - Let's not get sexist here. Both genders are capable of being committed and of having sex on their mind all the time. No sweeping comments plz..

    Cheers
    CRD

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  9. Soumya,

    Read all pending posts. So Damaged shows how tender heart you have and do feel the hurt. Congratulations on award and it is really so fulfilling to have a real close friend with whom you could share whatever you wish to. May your friendship continue this way. Love Vs Passion shows the modern trend which at times may be disturbing. Had good laugh on Lets Talk. When is your birthday as you mentioned you will about it. On this one. live as per your conscience. As long as you are discreet and have confidence in your partner it is fine but one should not be promiscuous. Whatever one does, he or she should remember that would the same be permitted for own children.

    Take care

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  10. Soumya,

    I am sorry I missed asking how are you feeling now. Hope you are taking care of your health. Please do keep in mind Health is most important and you should never neglect it. Share, if you wish to, as to why were you hospitalised.

    Take care

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  11. @CRD: Hey that’s my personal view, I don’t accept the fact that “both genders are capable” as so far I haven’t seen anyone “from the opposite gender” doing that. Anyways, let’s not get into that. I have no means to offend you. Cheers.

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  12. I agreed with every word of the post. Cheating anyone in any way is wrong. ANd it breaks my heart each time i see someone being unfaithful to someone else....

    PS Following your blog. will keep coming back for more :)

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  13. @Mishi,
    Yeah it can't be fun all the time, for now it makes sense. Ofcourse I want to settle down someday and I will do it the day my mind allows it and with the right guy. Nothing matters more than compatibilty and that's the only thing I look for in most men :)

    @Shobhit,
    Hello :)
    You wrote about the same movie too? Nice. Check out my comment.

    @Red Handed,
    Totally agree with what you say. This is what I had at one point of time and I loved the feeling. But now, its a whole different story altogether. You can't deny, either way its a risk.
    Thanks dear :)

    @Srinidhi,
    Thank you :). I found it hard to believe at first too, but when I saw how prevalent it was I kinda begun to understand it. Its a choice people make, to each his/her own. And don't get me started on trust. That's the one thing I absolutely can't seem to do now.

    @alchemist,
    Thank God atleast sometime agrees totally. Thank you and God bless you with a mutual relationship very soon :)

    @quartertoinsane,
    Aren't we all hedonists in some way or other? I know I don't oppose it, but it doesn't mean that I plan on trying it. Good for people who are already there.

    @Sonia,
    I only partly agree with you here. I know you are not trying to be a feminist as such but I do know of women who run away from commitment and still want to enjoy the pleasures of life. CRD does have a point to make.

    @CRD,
    True. Its like homosexuality. Its all coming out of the closet now. I seriously hope true love still exists. I plan to fall into it someday :)

    @Jack,
    Thank you for all the comments. You always cheer me up. My birthday is on the 8th of August, I shall write about it soon. What you say is perfectly right. We need to remember that our children can follow the same path too. I'm safe don't worry. I won't do anything that my mind and soul doesn't allow me to.

    I was hospitalised due to acute anaemia and low blood pressure. A bit weak as this will take quite some time to get right. Health is my top priority now and I'm doing everything it takes to keep it going well.

    @ram pyari,
    Cheating is a bad word. It should be penalised.
    Welcome to my blog and thanks for following :)

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  14. Love is something that should stay, if it does not, the lovers must have the will to find reasons for it to stay, but stay it must.

    And reading to this post, I do hope that when ever you get into it finally, you'll make a beautiful wife, not just as a girl, but wife. :)

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  15. Well yes,,,today love has become too modern..and a one-off fling, a one night stand has become so much abundant..it's certainly no longer about roses and chocolates..!

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  16. @BA,
    It must, but does it?
    Awww, that's so sweet. I hope so too :)

    @Nirvaan,
    It certainly is not. Just hoping that the plain old love exists somewhere atleast.

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Care to leave a word or two? Thanks for dropping by :)