I'll never be the Same

After an 11 hour day at work, I now find some time to flex my muscles and an over exhausted brain. As I sit alone in my room, for some weird reason I'm having a weird tendency to look back at life and introspect. Just thinking about what I was and what I have become now. It all feels so strange, how things change so rapidly and for the better. Or so I hope.

How a social drinker turned into an almost alcoholic and then into a hardcore sober workaholic. How a love lorn girl turned into an escapist running away from the very emotion that defined her. How a dreamy eyed teenager grew into a strictly practical woman. How a casual soul turned into a thinking magnet. How a vulnerable lass turned into the strong ice maiden. How a rainbow lover turned into a black and white fanatic. How an OCD bitch turned into a haphazard queen. How a non stop talker turned into a genuine listener. How a genuine listener turned into a judgemental cynic. How a messed up creature metamorphosed into an almost sorted dame. How a people lover turned into a agnostic misanthrope.

Strange are the ways of the world, seriously. Situations bring out the best and the worst in people. I've only seen how situations affect my psyche over the past year. I've been through so much that I cannot find the old me no matter how hard I preen and look. Its like I have been forced to grow up only due to the happenings around me. Its true, success hardly means anything if there is no struggle. Well, I'm not complaining.

Today as I look at myself, I see a strong, independent, single woman with absolutely no expectations from anyone or anything, but herself. People come and people leave, they only form catalysts to bring about bouts of light and happiness here and there. But the original blueprint or framework remains me. If I stumble, life would not be worth living. And I don't intend to get there. There is a place in me where I go back to every now and then, where I get to hear the echoes in my head. It helps, in every possible way. They say that you tend to get strong only when there is no other option left. But when there are other options and yet you choose to be strong, then its quite something else altogether. And that is what I have become now and I have no intentions of going back to what I was before.

P.S: I'm thoroughly disappointed by my previous posts, based on the number of comments I've received. Come on people, show some love.
P.P.S: How's the new look? I liked the previous one better, but this mood kinda reflects my life now and I like the feeling that brightness is not far away.

29 comments:

  1. Loved the new look.. people must keep experimenting.. it makes life and in this case Blog alive :) HAppy Diwali .. and don't worry.. the life remains the same.. only the perception changes.. :)

    Weakest LINK

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  2. People come and people leave, they only form catalysts to bring about bouts of light and happiness here and there. But the original blueprint or framework remains me...............u r always growing

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  3. Love the new look, certainly brings about a peppy new dimension to the space similar to the post which is also peppy, hard hitting and positive.

    Hope you had a Happy Deepavali.

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  4. hmm..new look is good..but as you said, I would have preferred the previous one..I speciall like the center align thing :)

    loved the last paragraph you have wrote about people and life..

    On PS: I had read your previos post but could not write comment since i was using google reader, my net connection was slow, so i could not write comment.


    stay connected!!!
    its me!!! sharan :)

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  5. Love the post! Change is the only constant, as they say... keep re-inventing yourself, thats the only way to keep sane :)

    Love the new look tooooo

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  6. You always have an option to be strong or to be weak.. and when you choose to be strong inspite of it being a hard choice - that's when you truly change into the kind of woman you have become!

    I loved your previous template.. it was totally you. But I love what this one signifies too :)

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  7. 1) Though I am not really a fan of colourful, bright lights, this template simply interested me. :)

    2) "They say that you tend to get strong only when there is no other option left. But when there are other options and yet you choose to be strong, then its quite something else altogether."

    Hat off! :)
    Life is screwed up because of choices and varieties!

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  8. new look is indeed good! n yes i like the spirit of choosing to be strong even when other options are also available!!

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  9. Hello.
    Visiting from the group Bloggers.

    Life is a journey we must all undertake. Along the way we age & with it comes maturity & wisdom. We cannot go back to change things, we can only look forward & try to do things differently using the wisdom & knowledge we have attained along the way.

    This is a thought-provoking post.
    Thanks for sharing.
    The Beautiful Winds Of India

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  10. Hello.
    I've just realized you are following my blog.
    Thank you. I always like to return the kindness & have become your newest follower too.
    Do come visit me again soon (smile)!

    Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn

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  11. i too like the previous one...but this too is nice...everyone changes of dies of stagnancy...I guess you hav changed for good :)
    nice post.

    Cheers!
    Sub

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  12. Very well written.:-)Cheers to your strength and resolve.Speaking of comments,12 comments and you havent replied to even one of them..:-D How about showering some affection on your commentators..and replying to their comments.???:-D

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  13. @Rachit,
    Thank you for liking the new look. Experimentation is the key to an adventerous life :)

    @Jidhu Jose,
    I am. Thanks :)

    @Atrocious Scribblings,
    Thank you so much. I had a great Diwali and I hope you did too.

    @its me!!! sharan :),
    I have a soft corner for the previous one, but it was time for a change especially when new beginnings are beckoning.

    Thank you so much :). Aww, I'm atleast glad you thought of commenting. From next time on, no google reader, just the blog :D

    Will stay connected!

    @Kalyani Gupta,
    Thank you and welcome :)

    @CynicalOxymoron,
    So true! Thank you :)

    @Chandana,
    Oh yeah and what I turned out into, I'm proud! The previous template was so much me, but it was time for a change :)

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  14. @Chandrika,
    1) I'm not too, but the template got my attention don't know why. Thank you :)
    2) Thank you again! True, but its you who gets to make the choice right. So decide on that carefully and unscrew things :)

    @quartertoinsane,
    Thanks buddy. I see you are not withdrawn from here :)

    @megharana,
    Thank you so much :)

    @Andy,
    Thank you for visiting and following. I so loved your poems. Will visit soon :)

    @SUB,
    For good, yeah :). Thank you.

    @Rahul,
    Here we go :D. A very special welcome to you and I'm glad you liked the post. Keep visiting :)

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  15. Wow this is so well-written...I'm in awe.. And I felt like you just voiced my thoughts.. :)

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  16. i lik d graphics on the right side.. but i feel it a bit difficult to read the posts.. changin the font might help it.. and a really good article... luvd goin thru it... keep goin

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  17. Well how beautifully you decipher yourself Soumya?
    I wish I could write my my thoughts out and shift the burden.

    Not expecting is the key to happiness. I like the new you. Being practical will never put you down, atleast in the long run.

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  18. I liked the old one and I like this as well. Please keep it....people wanted me to change my blog theme but it reflects my mood and thus I gave mobile version link...they can read on lighter theme too....

    Well....I read your posts...sometimes I may not comment because I start thinking how I relate to your posts. ..And then....I leave quietly....however mostly I comment...i hope :-)

    I go thru this a lot too. I feel am changed....I want my jolly fun innocent me back....but....it refuses to come back....so whatever boring me I have become I take a deep breath and go on....

    But...people like this me better...sigh....:-) there is a heavy pruce to pay for being wise...or lets say mean and practical....

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  19. Doesn't your blog have the prettiest templates? :)
    Coming to the post..
    ** How a love lorn girl turned into an escapist running away from the very emotion that defined her.
    I see myself in that. People, appearances, make-believes .. they can all defy our genuine opinions. What is is usually what is not. You know, we often end up building a world around us that only strengthens our insecurities in a weird way .. But then again, you have to strike back and sometimes with a sweet vengeance .. I am glad you're holding on! Reminds me of Kipling :
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

    Tc! Shall follow you in a while

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  20. Aww...where was I all this time :banghead: New theme huh? Sooo Loved it :D. Damn, you work hard on your blog ;)
    //How a genuine listener turned into a judgemental cynic - you are not judgmental. :) At least not the `cynic` level !

    P.S. I called you trice on Diwali. Your cell din't even ring :/ What is wrong with it? :S
    P.P.S. Oh..Did I tell you I love your posts more than you? ;) It's hard to decide when it comes to choosing between you two :D

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  21. Everything that we grow through makes me wonder if we do introspect enough. You, I know, do a lot of it. :)

    Beautiful post.

    Happy or sad, its meaningful. Sometimes thats all we want.

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  22. Change is the only constant in our lives. Its transitorial aspects help us keep moving forward always. :)

    Very well written.

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  23. @confused soul,
    Thank you :)

    @Saheer Kumble,
    Welcome to my blog! Will try changing the font. Thanks :)

    @Red,
    I do? Thanks my girl :)
    That's the hope.

    @Chintu Singh,
    Its all about how I like it at the end of the day :). Thanks girl, whenever you do, you leave awesome comments. I'm glad and content with what I have become. And I'm willing to pay the price that comes with it, but would never change :)

    @Cяystal,
    Thanks dear :). Wow that's a good one!

    @Stranger !,
    I do, my blog is the only thing with which my relationship has stayed the same :)
    I'm not? Remember our first meeting? :P
    P.S: We have established that something is wrong with your phone. Haven't we? :)
    P.P.S: My posts are a very integral part of me, so it all sums down to being me. I'm atleast glad that you have great choices to choose from.

    @Srinidhi,
    I do it a lot, helps me to grow :). Thanks sweetheart.

    @MothSmokeLover,
    It sure does. Thanks :)

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  24. People change with time and so does the things. All you can do is stand still on your believes & fly with it.
    About the new look, it’s good but I still prefer the old one! :)

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  25. I admired you so much girl , you are so honest to yourself and so brave how i wish i can be as strong as you ..never mind the wits and your poetry ,your exceptional ! Be happy .love ya friend !

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  26. @Sonia,
    I prefer the old one too, but its time for newer things :)

    @Angel,
    Thanks dear, love ya too :)

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  27. @Sonia,
    I prefer the old one too, but its time for newer things :)

    @Angel,
    Thanks dear, love ya too :)

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