Never be too Careful

I have the time to write these days, but I'm unable to get words out. I don't know what is happening. Life is good no doubt, but some glitches are blurring things out. I've learnt that, its best to never try to be too careful. A little bit of precaution is good, but I put in all my energy and focus on not getting into something. But today, at this very moment I find myself buried deep under it. I don't know why I'm finding this so funny. I was so damn careful, so very cautious; yet it happened.

Falling in love is not something you decide on, but I did everything that I could to stay away from it. The minute I found myself leaning towards it, I backed out. I did all I could to never look back at it, I even termed it as addiction. But today I know that addiction is indeed a form of love. After all, why would you want to get addicted to something that you don't love? Making sense? Yeah.

Come mid November and my travel schedule gets a bang start. I'm going to be globe trotting for quite a while it seems like. I'm going to be back here only to fly off again in sometime. I've always wanted to travel and see the world, but today as I see my travel schedule, my head reels. You need to be careful about what you ask God seriously, because at times, rare times for me, He sends a positive reply. I'm looking forward to a new place, new environment and new people. But leaving behind the old ones just when you are still contemplating on the rush of feelings is so so bad. I so want to jump in and sort things out but the Lioness pride in me doesn't let me do that. Love sure is complicated. There is a tinge of pain too, but I'm glad that I realised that it is not meant to last before I heartily jumped into it. Some consolation here.

Being alone is good. It is a strength in itself. No unnecessary responsibilities or liabilities. I realised this the day when the lines of love and lust merged into me. Expectations always hurt, be it from either side. Being ultra careful about separating lust and love did not work either. Everything in life comes together at times. And thanks to Murphy ruling my life, it all comes together at the worst possible time for me. Happiness is at its peak thanks to a constant flourishing work life, but at the same time personal life seems to be going for a toss. But again, things only happen for the better and we continue to hope.

Now that the distraction/ addiction/ love is out of my life there is more room for newer and better things. This makes me smile. At times I wonder why am I not able to break down and cry. But then again, I've done more than my share of that, that it does not seem to matter anymore. People are weird. At times they make you feel like a priority and at times like an option. Its weirdly funny because you tend to see only the happy side of it. Or rather that's all you want to see. But when it hits you one day, it hits you hard. My once healed heart now has a sharp, deep dent. I'm choosing escapism here and running away from it. I want to keep matters of the heart away from my body and life for quite sometime now. But yeah, I'm not planning on being too careful about it.

So moral of the story: Shit happens, always. Don't try to build walls around you because even if a brick comes loose, the wall comes collapsing down. Instead, open your doors and let it come in. Deal with it the way you want at the right time. That's much simpler than something coming in unexpected when you had been so careful about it. Makes you feel like a fool to be honest. That's when you see all your life's philosophies crumbled and stranded on the ground contributing to more shit.

Someone rightly said, "At times the best thing you can do when you find love again, is to walk away"

But can we remain friends? Only time will tell, especially when both have decided to walk away to different paths.

13 comments:

  1. did something sad happen or did something good happen?

    this is confusing me... :(

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  2. "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness."

    And I dint say this, Bertrand Russell did. But I hope you know wat im trying to say... ;)
    Love ur writing!

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  3. Falling in love is not something you decide on, but I did everything that I could to stay away from it. The minute I found myself leaning towards it, I backed out. I did all I could to never look back at it, I even termed it as addiction.

    Being alone is good. It is a strength in itself. No unnecessary responsibilities or liabilities. I realised this the day when the lines of love and lust merged into me. Expectations always hurt, be it from either side.

    This is how I feel. I've never fallen in love because I'm afraid of being hurt. You're doing the right thing not giving up =)

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  4. I sometimes feel we overthink things. Over analyse and cut the flavour out. I hope you have the best time ahead girl. Not just cause thats a nice thing to say, but cause you should enjoy your trip. :)


    p.s I am jealous. :\ World tour. Bloody. :\

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  5. being alone is good..it makes you stronger..

    but the strength of true love can't be compared..don't start disbelieving in love...it catches hold of you..when you least expect

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  6. As long as there is no regret, the decision stands right. The day you start feeling a pang of guilt, maybe thats wen the truth hits you hard. I just pray that never happens. The scar the past left was too deep, I can see.

    Stay Strong!You already are, I must say!

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  7. good to see you back here.. and yeah at times its good to walk away.. :)

    Weakest LINK

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  8. As Paulo Coelho said “Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.” So, the best is let the extraordinary things happen in its own way. I know you are not an escape leo. ;)
    & good luck for the travel part, hope you’ll enjoy it. Loads of love, Take care! ;)

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  9. @quartertoinsane,
    Both.

    @The Meditating Lion,
    Oh tell me about it! I know :)
    Thanks!

    @Areesha,
    Hmm I hope. Lets see what happens :)

    @Srinidhi,
    Thanks so much dear :). Its not a tour, I'm going on work. I hope to enjoy it either ways :)

    @Nikita,
    Love... Hmm. Not for me. Not for now atleast.

    @Red,
    No regret what so ever. The scar is healing quick and I don't want to expose it now. I'm trying to stay strong. Hell ya, I am :)

    @Rachit,
    Thanks for understanding my boy :)

    @Sonia,
    I totally second that!
    I'm not an escapist, but this time I want to walk away. I know its for the best. Thanks a lot sweetheart, you have been so suppotive. Love you too, hugs! :)

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  10. Congrats on getting it right with your wanderlust. Let loose and enjoy the ride while you can:)
    And like Red said, as long as there are no regrets, none ever.

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  11. @PeeVee,
    Finally its getting right :). Thanks!
    No regrets at all. That's not called living.

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  12. this is gooooood...seriously gooood..:-)

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  13. @Rahul,
    Thank you. Seriously! :)

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