Can't erase, Can't rewind



If you don't have a past, then you don't have a present. Show me one person who hasn't had a past and I'll bow to you. Isn't this what life is all about. The past, the present and the future. So why make a big deal about having a past or dreaming about the future. This is how life is. This is how life is meant to be.

Its after ages that I'm thinking about my past or writing about it. People who have been following my blog right from the start know that I have also been a victim of living in the past. But I don't regret it now. After a colorful past(not my choice of words) I chose what colors I need in my present. The past has been very kind and unkind to me. But yeah, I survived all that didn't I? People around me think that I have an enviable life because of all the men I have around. They might just be friends, but again, you cannot control what others think. Others think that maybe my present is not good enough, just because they have had limited information about my past. For those keeping count, I've had 94,769,321 boyfriends. Don't wait, just pick the phone and spread the word. I haven't cared about what you say or do for the 9490 days I've been on this earth, what makes you think that now I will. And if you think that my past is limited only to this aspect, then you will  be shocked. There is a reason why I do what I do and why I am the way I am today. 

Situations affect a person the most, be it from the past or the present. If you don't know the reason then please don't judge. 

Its my life, my past, my present, my boyfriend and my marriage. Life is seriously funny at times. The title of this post comes from the song 'Erase & Rewind', which was introduced to me by a then good friend. Today, I no longer know if he is actually alive or not. Not that I care, but still. Another close friend turned into a foe after a brief relationship, and today he does not exist for me. People come, people leave. 3 years ago, I wasn't happy at all at my work front. I just did the job because I was getting paid. When I decided that this is not what I want, I just plunged into something else and I'm the happiest today. Life is life, everyone has a past, present and a future. Its up to us to decide what and who you want to carry from the past to the present or to the future. Even the normal life we live apart from boy/girlfriends and work is a life. There is a past and a future to it too. I don't understand why past is only considered to be in the love life front? Very unfair.

A good friend of mine, just came into the city. His parents have found him a suitable girl to get married to. He likes her too. But he wants me to help him do a background check on her. I out rightly denied. This is one more weird quality about the male species. They can have as many affairs as they want to, but yet prefer a homely, pristine clear, virgin girl. 'Cocktail' is an example of this. The man can lay anything that looks like a girl but if the girl does the same its a loud "No" for marriage. Poor Deepika, though I loved the way she has played her role. It would have been better if she fought for her love without trying to change herself. But why? The Indian audience is not wired to accept such characters. Will gawk at her flawless body in a bikini, but will not think of her as marriage material. Strange.

Life cannot be lived on as a bias. Every soul comes with a history. When we can accept something that happened eons ago, why not the recent past. Make peace with what has happened and you make peace with what comes your way later. Everybody makes mistakes, very few learn from them. Its up to us to decide what we want to be. But no matter what you can't undo them or try to go back into the past to change it. Accept life, and then you start living.


~ Soumya

24 comments:

  1. Like I always say, "I have no regrets. Only lessons."
    I don't regret a single thing I've done in my life. And if I didn't have a past, I probably wouldn't have a future. It's a cycle. And I've never hidden anything about my past to anyone. Neither from any previous boyfriends, nor from the guy I'm gonna get married to. Imagine how exhauting it would be, to carry a secret around all your life. Sorry. Na-ah. Not for me. So what if you've had a past? If the person you're gonna spend the rest of your life with is ok with it, then who the hell is the rest of the world to care about it or judge you over it? Tell them all to go take a hike, darlng.

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    1. Exactly!! Amen to all you said sistah!

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  2. brilliante !!!
    and that is all there is to be.
    PERIOD

    we are not answerable to anyone but ourselves..have a clean conscience..follow your heart..
    get hurt..rise..fall..but always be true to yourself..and you will be the happiest.. :)
    and the rest of the world..well they can go to timbuktoo or some alien land..\m/
    love your spirit baby!!
    cheers!!

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    1. Timbuktoo indeed :D

      Thanks love, nice to see you here after long.

      Cheers!!

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  3. That's the spirit! When it comes to self, people will say hundred reasons and when it comes to others, the first thing the society does is to judge. Why are they so interested in judging about every little thing? Sigh! Life in itself will not be a concept if it doesn't have a past, it is just that whatever happens in others' lives is spicy enough for others to let their tongues on a roll and yeah obviously and sadly that happens only to be the love front. Simply loved the way you wrote it and I read the last paragraph more than 5 times. Awesome!

    Keirthana

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    1. Exactly. Rather talk about others yard instead of picking up the dirt from theirs.

      Thanks dear :)

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  4. hard realilities
    xpressed candidly... calls 4 salutation

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  5. Accept life as it comes! Very true and agree with your take, Soumya!

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  6. Soumay,

    I agree with you that every one of us past and we need to accept this fact. Also it is upto us whom to carry forward into present or future. It is so narrow mindedness to label a girl just because she is outgoing. And it is so true that most of the males would have all the fun they wish to but would look for a "pure" girl to marry. Hypocrisy. This is changing but at slow pace.

    Take care

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    1. Pure is the word. I hope it changes soon.

      Thank you Jack. You take care too.

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  7. My past is so damn present that I wudnt be surprised if it becomes my future too..

    Pretty serious n deep stuff here, Soumya

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    1. Hahaha, nice way of putting it, that one!

      At times you get serious :)

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  8. Forget the past,lve the present and don't think about the future.
    Visiting your blog for the first time.
    & interesting post by the way .
    _Gunjan Kumar

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    1. Thank you Gunjan and welcome here!

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  9. Soumya,

    This is to wish you - MANY MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY. MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.

    Take care

    PS : Wish I could send e-card!

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    1. Thank you so much Jack. I'm so glad you remembered.

      You can always email me at soumprasad@gmail.com.

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  10. I know what being a victim of the past feels like. I've been stuck up with it for quite some time now. Nice post. :)

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    1. Thank you Rahul. And I pray that you get outa it fast :)

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  11. this is one reason why I am afraid of arranged marriages. my past is colourful to as extent that i sometimes pray i get colour blind. i left the guy who loved me coz of my own issues which i havent recognized yet. i dont know how a person getting into an arrnaged marriage with me will be able to accept my past and still want to be with me. that is why some people dont believe that honesty is the best policy. not that my past is bad but still society wud classify me as an outcast just coz i lived my life my way and without any regrets!

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    1. The last 3 words in your comment says it all. If you don't regret anything then it doesn't matter. Don't be afraid, there will come someone who will accept you with the past and that is all that matters. Hell with the society.

      We have all been there honey, don't feel like an outcast :)

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