Being Aditi


So, 'Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani' crosses the much coveted 100 crore margin. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. No, the story sucked. And just because you wear glasses, doesn't mean a girl is nerdy. And no, a college topper doesn't walk around carrying a text book all the time. The music of the movie is decent enough. 'Badtameez Dil' is my husband's favorite song to shake a leg to and I enjoy the beautiful chime of 'Ilahi'. Nothing more to the movie. YJHD feels like 'Ram Gopal Verma ki Aag' when compared to 'Wake Up Sid!'. But still I loved the movie. Why? For Aditi.

As soon as Cal and I walked out of the theatre, I told him one thing. I loved Aditi. This is Kalki at her best. After playing the innocent Paro and the bitchy Natasha, it is a pleasure to watch her sink her teeth into Aditi. She blends in so beautifully that soon you begin to forget that she is actually the ugly toothed girl. And then you start empathizing and sympathizing with Aditi. At least I could, because I'm exactly her, barring a few choices she makes.

This article by Shobhaa De brings out the essence of Aditi beautifully. And that put me in the thought mode. I don't know if I can call myself "one of the boys", but I sure know that I shall not call myself "one of the girls". Both my mom's (mom and MIL) keep joking about the fact that how I was supposed to be born a guy and God decided to change me the last second. Probably, you never know. 'Tom boy' is the word most people use to describe me and I do not take it in offence, nor do I take it in pride. It is who I am and I have no problem with it. Growing up, I was much closer to my brothers than my sisters, I played cricket, climbed tress, jumped from one house to the other, very well knowing that I'm a girl. Nothing and nobody could take away that fact. Most of my friends have been boys and they feel a sense of comfort to share their feelings with me. No, not because they consider me as one of them. Only because they feel that I could understand them. Because I was sensible. No strings attached and I never shied away from discussing any topic. When the boys became men, they did not ignore the fact that I had become a woman. Maybe I lucked out. Poor Aditi didn't.


I am not a feminist, yet I fight for my rights. That doesn't make me a man. I can't smooth talk and I use the F-word more often than not. That doesn't make me any less of a lady. I wear jeans and shirts, most of the time. That doesn't mean I have the body of a man. The people who know me, know that. Most of the male friends I have(had), have asked me to marry them. Very well knowing the fact that I'm not a typical airy girl. I might have been "one of the boys" but my identity as a girl was never lost. So what if I do not like pink or purple. It’s a choice, that's it. So what if I wear shorts and ganjis, that doesn't mean I am a guy. It only means that I have the body and the confidence to carry it off. See, that is the problem here. In our country, only men are allowed to be confident and headstrong. If a woman is the same, then well you either are a feminist or a "Tom boy".

On the day of my wedding I had a huge argument with my makeup artist who wanted me to wear an orchid in my hair. I did not want to, because I don't like it. She then yells, "Why are you so like a tom boy?" Hello? And why? How on earth is that even related. Like everyone, even I have my share of likes and dislikes. I'm as comfortable in a saree or salwar kameez as I am in my jeans. Just that I prefer denims due to its versatility and toughness. So? I have been a part of the 'Bharat Scouts and Guides', hell yeah I actually am a 'Rajyapuraskar' guide. When I expressed a desire to join the NCC, people raised eye brows. Reasons best known to them. Being the younger of two girls and a Leo at that, I have a tendency to defend and protect the people I love and care about. Are only men supposed to do that? If protecting the people I love makes me a Tom boy, then so be it.


There is a scene in YJHD where Aditi sends Ranbir aka Bunny a video message, inviting him for her wedding. She says, "See, I'm dressed in a short dress, high heels and even have a French manicure, so please at least now pay some attention to me." I was fascinated by this line mainly because I thought it was a whole carton of bull shit. I have been asked out by my friends when I'm in jeans, sneakers and messy hair. No, I do not look like Avril Lavigne or Kristen Stewart. I have had men love me the way I am and when I have loved them back, I've had butterflies and all that jazz. Probably the butterflies and the saxophones did not pay heed to the clothes I was wearing. I am not in your face sweet, but I don't worship blasphemy either. 

Aditi settles for a fat, good hearted man with an Ambani like lifestyle. An arranged marriage they say. Only because the man she loved in her hay days, did not even consider her to be a woman. Let alone fall in love with her. As I'm typing this, I'm reminded of the scene in 'Kuch Kuch Hota Hai' where Shahrukh's eyes pop out when he sees Kajol's waist as her saree conveniently flies in the air. He probably did not give her a second look when she spent all of her college life with him wearing jeans and jerseys. What an irony. And there is a gargantuan list of movies that preach the same.

I married a man who loves me in my pajamas and who wouldn't give two hoots if I wear shorts or if I wear a saree. He knows the person I am underneath all of it. No, not anatomically. I am like this ever since I can remember. I did not decide to be like this, just so that I could be popular with the guys. And the fact that I was popular with the guys does not mean that it was because of this. Even if it was, I don't give a damn. I've always stuck to what I believed in and shall continue to do so. I haven't lost out on anything, being the way I am and the men in my life have loved me for the way I am. "You are different", this is something I've heard from most men and when I have insisted on just being friends they go like "Now, where do I find another girl like you?". You read that? Girl they said. Just because I'm not the conventional frilly, lacy, squeaky girl, doesn't mean I'm not a girl in entirety. 

I have no qualms being an Aditi, because I know that I still am me.

P.S: I'm now on twitter. Follow me @soumyaprasad. See you guys there.

~ Soumya

22 comments:

  1. only thing is filmi Aditis can turn into glam queens in a blink :

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  2. Love your confidence Soumya...it oozes out in each of your posts!!

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  3. May the world be populated with more girls and women like you. :-)

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    1. Thank you Sir. You are awesome :)

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  4. It is wonderful to know who you are and being comfortable being yourself. To me it is the most important thing. Loved reading this post!

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    1. That is the only important thing. Thanks Nisha.

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  5. I dont know why people are so hell bent on giving labels.. 'tomboy' 'girly girl' 'typical girl'... I mean let the girl just be whatever she is!! I know am a bit of all these combined. But most of the time am simple, practical, rational with no complications... and I think that's what attracts people most.. guys and girls included. The 'you are different' you get is coz u are fuss-free and not afraid of being you. Not hiding behind any masks.. I mean who wouldn't want that!!! :)

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  6. The problem is that we tend to stereotype everything. A girl is either a tomboy (like Kajol in kuch kuch hota hai) or she is a pink-loving, dreaming-of-a-prince-on-a-white-horse typical girl (like simran of DDLJ. We have that annoying habit of categorizing everything. IT's kind of lame how the movies add to this thinking. I hated cocktail for the same. Why would a Deepika want to be like Diana :O It is annoying to see such mentality of men who want confident and headstrong girls to date and want to marry the coy one!
    I could identify with you being definitely not being the girlie girl though I was not exactly the tomboy. So that left me somewhere in between :P

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    1. Absolutely true. At times you feel that movies are to blame. I still am suffering from that Cocktail confusion :P

      Hahaha, don't bother. Just be you, that's it that matters :)

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  7. Nyc post... Nd this post show. U live ur life as u want... Very less people dare to do it..... Keep it up.. Keep writing...:)

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  8. I was a forced to be Tomboy. Because I had friends who were outwardly pretty and I was the one who was chosen by guys to get their numbers and other details. I am that insignificant creature with no feelings or feminine desires or so the guys thought. And noone wanted to marry me too, although they preferred to talk to me more than their own girlfriends, because I was interesting. Or so they said. ;-) When I saw Aditi I was reminded of myself. Except for the choice she made at the end. I found my prince charming finally after 26 years of being a boy dressed in a girl's attire.

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    1. I'm glad that there are so many Aditi's out there.

      I too married my prince charming at 26. The prince who accepts and loves the Aditi in me :)

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  9. And I wrote something on the same subject and linked u as well. http://itsaneetasblog.blogspot.com/

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  10. Everyone is unique and that's what it all comes down to. Labeling someone is not something we have the right to but yet people do that. Sad, but true! That does not mean we have to change ourselves for that. Do the others change their ways of judging people when they don't know enough? No right? Then why the hell should we change when we are doing something confident. Keep rocking Leo! :)

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    1. Exactly! Why should we change. You change your thoughts instead.

      Thanks Keirthana :)

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  11. You Live The Life as You want; That The thing I Like In Everybody. I don't Think Man Don't Look Towards A Girl If She Is Like So Called ADITI, The Only Thing Matters Is She Is a Girl,Man Will Be Man :D.

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