Coward

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Many times I ask myself
What is it that holds me back
Am I busy loving myself
Or counting the things that I lack

I want to fall deep
In the oasis I see in his eyes
When I have him around me
Everything feels so fine and nice

And yet love him I cannot
The pain from the past still stings
I'm scared to lose myself
To the happiness that fresh love brings

Love once took me to hell and back
Oozed every ounce of everything I had
I lost myself completely in it
Forgetting myself, turning mad

The hole in my heart grew bigger
On life I had given up
No matter what I did to forget
It stayed on like a constant hiccup

It ripped me off every emotion
Sucking out my soul from within
A few years ago, I wasn't like this
Love turned out to be my only sin

Today it stands in front of me again
The same feeling but a different face
Do I stay back and not go through it
Or should I just give in to the embrace

Maybe I'll follow the butterflies
And take it one day at a time
Should I just put in all our words
Not worrying too much about the rhyme

How will I know it will last this time
What if it turns out to be a sham
Call me a coward if you want to
In love, that's exactly who I am

6 comments:

  1. Beautifully worded poem, Soumya and the feelings are well conveyed.

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  2. Perhaps completely off topic, but sometimes in love, you have to give 'all - in'.

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes. Else, you definitely are a coward.

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  3. This was soooo good Soumya...like someone said...all is fair in love and war. And falling in love is such a beautiful feeling, that we still do it even though we know it will bring us pain.

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