"Life is what happens to you, when you are busy making other plans" - This happens to be one of my favorite sayings, but when it took a severely literal effect on my life, I did not know what to do. There are a lot of things that we take for granted in this world. Maybe it is time we sit back and take a look at those things closely. Life has been hitting me with one tragedy after another since the end of last year. No matter how strong a person you are, there is only so much one can take. Just when I thought 2016 was the worst year of my life, 2017 seems to be hell bent upon trying to prove me wrong. My life has always been a roller coaster ride, with me handling a million things at every point of time. I have no complains, as I love the busy life that always keeps me on my toes and active. But I was in for a nightmare a few days ago.
My mom fell sick and had to be hospitalized for a good twenty odd days. Multiple surgeries, sleepless nights, tension, followed by my own ill health left me totally drained out emotionally and physically. The hospital she was admitted in was closer to their place, and since I live on the other side of town it was really far for me. Travelling up and down everyday, while handling the household chores coupled with the guilt of leaving behind a high priority project at work left me totally exhausted. I was almost zombified and then thanks to the beautifully fickle weather of Bangalore, I was down with fever, cough and a cold. Sadly, I had no time to bother about myself and focused completely on getting mom better. After ten days of leave, I had to get back at work. This has to be the most trying period of my life. I normally use work as a distraction and leave behind everything that plagues me once I am at my laptop, but this time that was not the case. My mind was only at the hospital and I was constantly on the phone worrying. I used to rush through work and then rush back to the hospital. My father and uncle were constantly by her side, but I couldn't stay away either.
Last evening, we got her back home. Although she's far from healed, she's getting there. I finally can take a step back and relax. I need to focus on my health and work at the same time. That I will. There's one thing I learnt while going through this entire ordeal. The importance of hope. I held on to hope like no tomorrow and had only positive thoughts on my mind. It is important to stay strong when the people around are crumbling. I did that. I don't know where I got the strength from, but I did. Maybe, it was my mothers blessings all the time. It is also during such times that you see the true colors of people. And a rainbow did I see! We humans are a funny species, as we are the ones with the least amount of humanity in us.
Now that mom is back at home and healing, my health seems to be getting better as well. It was a nightmare that my family had to go through, but we survived it together and came out stronger. In the end, isn't that all that matters? It is important to be strong during such situations and hold things together. It is important to believe that things will be fine. It will take time yes, but it will all turn out fine. I've always had an aversion to hospitals, of course no one loves going to a hospital; but some thing about them used to turn me off. Well, not anymore. Earlier, it used to be about ill health, pain and misery. Now it is all about getting better, hope and miracles. During my twenty day visit to the hospital, I've seen so many other people struggling around me. Patients and the people they came with. It teaches you so many things at the same time.
Like this one lady, who sat like a rock for ten whole days in front of the neuro ICU waiting for some response from her husband who was admitted there. She was alone, while her daughters visited her once in a while. She did not shed a tear, nor panic. She held her cool and faith and never gave up on hope. I formed a strange bond with her. While we did speak often and exchange notes on the patients admitted, there are so many things that I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell her that she gave me the courage to stay strong for my family. I couldn't tell her that she being so strong, inspired me. I couldn't tell her that every time I prayed for my mother, I prayed for her husband as well. I couldn't tell her all this, but there was no need to. Even though it was unsaid, it was clearly understood. I'll never forget this woman all my life. She never asked me for my name, nor did I. But we now share a very intricate bond. Maybe more so because she reminded me of my mother in every possible way. Strong, confident and independent.
I can handle any amount of physical pain, but the emotional drain-out completely burned me out. I'm taking my time to get better now. I'm back at work and focus is still an issue, but it is much better than what it was last week. Even before what happened to mom, things were not all that rosy. Work was hectic, other problems kept creeping in, and there was no peace of mind whatsoever. What ever happened, only added to it. But when it left, it took away the past uneasiness as well. Today, things are much better. Life has taught me so much in the past few days that I'm a better person now. I've matured a lot over the few days and become more stronger. I now know, who are the people who will stand by me and who will walk away. I'm not upset over the people who walked away. This is exactly what I expected from them anyway.
I have no grudge against life. When you are at rock bottom, the only way is up. I'm going to hold on to my strength, hope and walk ahead. For me and my family. I might not know how to beat the storm as yet, but I've definitely learnt how to sail my ship.