Disappear

Image Source

I often wonder
How it would be like to disappear
Never looking back
Wanting to be anywhere but here

Leaving all the fears behind
All the joys now unknown
Walking away from the obvious
Nipping memories already sown

Pointed fingers and I told you so's
That constant scream in your head
A spell and fairy dust would work
I'll just be gone, not dead

Would someone miss me
I haven't given this a thought
Maybe I no longer care
I'm tired of the battles I've fought

I often wonder
How it would be like to disappear
Would it be a brand new start
Or would it be crippled with fear

A blank mind, an empty slate
The happy feeling of nothingness
Nothing more to sort and clear
None of those lingering mess

Along with the sense of forced duty
The burden of responsibility now erased
Like invisible wings helping me fly
As I give in, blind and unfazed

No more insecurities, no more desires
Trying to be the girl with no name
No longer a part of this tiring journey
Was life for me, for some a game

To lies, deceit, malice and greed
I'll finally turn a deaf ear
Floating above the cotton clouds
I'll embrace void, feeling clear

Never looking back
Wanting to be anywhere but here
I often wonder
How it would be like to disappear

12 comments:

  1. Poignant read! I haven't thought of disappearing but I've often wondered about the purpose of life. I see animals going about their lives in such a different manner as compared to us. Who is more fulfilled? The other day the husband and I was having a conversation around this topic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is quite an interesting topic to think about. It can keep your mind busy for hours.

      Delete
  2. We all feel like this now and then don't we? And I know how rough 2017 has been on you. It couldn't have been easy. Sigh.

    That said (and assuming this is quasi-autobiographical) I would miss you. I'd miss you, reach out to you, want to sit by a cozy fire and drink cocoa and read Harry Potter with you. So if nothing else, we'd have each other. Hugs, babe.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I feel like this always, Soumya. But then you are a brave girl. 2017 was tough for you. But so are you! Hugs, dear.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wouldn't it be loverly! That is my thought! Honestly feel like disappearing sometimes just to escape and be by myself! I in fact wish for an invisibility cloak, just be there yet not be there? Beautiful poetry Soumya!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh you said it! At times all I want is to not be there.

      Delete
  5. Maybe we all feel this way sometimes (you know that I do). In theory, it sounds almost... heavenly. At the same time, it's also just an escapist fantasy.
    Hugs!

    And it's a great poem. Makes you sit and think, and wonder...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Escapist fantasy yes, but hey atleast for a while it takes things off your mind.

      Thanks, love!

      Delete
  6. If only that could happen. I can keep fantasising to the thought of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. Maybe someday it would be possible in the mind at-least.

      Delete

Care to leave a word or two? Thanks for dropping by :)