Sixty Thoughts That Crossed My Mind While Watching 'Ae Dil Hai Mushkil' #NotAMovieReview

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I know this movie released a couple of years ago but I only happened to watch it recently. I do remember trying to watch it earlier in between the breaks of the Oscars telecast, but every time I switched the channel, Ranbir was brooding or was crying or was doing both. A few weeks ago, when the husband was away and I was bored to death, I switched on the television after years. After getting used to Netflix and Prime, there is hardly anything exciting on TV anymore. As expected there were no good shows or movies to watch. A channel was playing 'Ae Dil Hai Mushkil' and the movie was just starting so I decided to watch it. Honestly, as much as a lover of movies I am, some Hindi movies absolutely make no sense to me. Sometimes I just watch movies for the "What nonsense" part of it. It is quite a humorous past time, trust me.

Ae Dil hai Mushkil is the story of Ayan and Alizeh, played by Ranbir Kapoor and Anushka Sharma respectively. Ayan loves her, but she loves Ali (Fawad Khan) and marries him. Then, the story unfolds. Here are the sixty thoughts that crossed my mind as I watched Karan Johar's (He claims that it is loosely based on his own life) love story.

*************** Major Spoilers Ahead ***************

1. The starting credits of the movie is too long, WTF!

2. Oh here's Ranbir, he looks goooooooooooooood.

3. There's Anushka, what's with her hair? And that nose ring?

4. They kiss! Wow, that was quick. Do I need to watch the rest of the movie now?

5. Her name is Alizeh Khan? Could it be any more filmy. Well it is a KJo movie after all.

6. Now she decides that they are friends. Only friends.

7. Wait, he has a girlfriend (Lisa Haydon) and she a boyfriend (don't know who he is).

8. What's with Lisa Haydon's accent? Her favorite Hindi word is "vaatavaran". Wow, who came up with this one?

9. Why doesn't Alizeh like Lisa? Did she actually throw a drink at her?

10. Is that Alia Bhatt with feathers on her head? Poor thing, the things one has do for their mentor.

11. What on earth is a breakup song?

12. Why is Anushka wearing a kurta with boots in a disco?

13. Ohhhh their respective partners are now doing it? WOW!

14. Heartbreak for both of them. Why is Ayan overacting?

15. Why is Alizeh laying a mortar on him? WTF is happening?

16. Alizeh's father sends her to Paris to get over the heartbreak. Wow, my dad would have killed me instead.

17. She decides to take Ayan along, as a friend. WOW! Where are all my useless friends?

18. Paris looks nice, I should go there soon with the husband.

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19. Why are they re-creating movie scenes? What's wrong with them?

20. Ooooohh Fawad is here! What a hottie!

21. Wait, he's her ex? He cheated on her? The one she keeps calling "Tabaahi"?

22. She forgives him and asks Ayan to leave. What is this nonsense?

23. Ayan leaves! Hello, Mr. No balls!

24. So they don't talk for a while now. Is that why he's trying to be a singer?

25. Who loves whom?

26. Alizeh is calling Ayan to attend her wedding to Ali? This could be fun.

27. Ayan is now wearing mehendi with her. Great!

28. Cutie Pie? This movie seriously needs better songs.

29. He's going to confess his love for her now? At her wedding to someone else? Rachel Green alert.

30. He's kicked out of the wedding. What else did Ayan expect? Also, why is he looking so pansy suddenly? Must be the clean shaven look.

31. An airport setting! Don't tell me he meets a woman here.

32. Ah there she is, Saba (Aishwarya). She's a shayara, is that what a poetess is called in Hindi?

33. She lives in Vienna! Oh what a beautiful place. I need to go back there again. Also, how does a poetess get to be so rich? So much for the 100 odd poems I have on my blog.

34. Wait, Ayan calls her once he visits Vienna after a few months and now they are doing it! In spite of him telling her his sob stories throughout the duration of their flight.

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35. Is that Shahrukh Khan? What's he doing here? Of course he is Saba's ex-husband. Maybe they wrote this character just so SRK could have a guest appearance.

36. Why is he glorifying one-sided love? What a moron!

37. Did that speech motivate Ayan to call Alizeh right from that venue?

38. Alizeh is coming to meet Ayan and Saba in Vienna. Doesn't she trust him when he says he has someone else in his life now?

39. Who comes to a dinner invitation empty handed? And why is she wearing a kurta with boots again?

40. Okay, this is awkward.

41. Did Ayan just ask Alizeh why can't she love him? What is this?

42. Why is Ayan so desperate and clingy? Among other unpleasant things.

43. Did Saba have to see it to believe that Ayan still loves Alizeh? Well, at least she breaks up with him. One woman in the movie had sense.

44. Why is Ayan running like a maniac?

45. Is he asking Alizeh permission to live his own life? And he still asks her why she doesn't love him? WOW!

46. So, Ayan is now a successful singer. Thanks to the heartbreak, I'm sure. Wait, am I watching Rockstar?

47. Ayan meets Ali, why? Oh wait, Alizeh left Ali?

48. Ayan is waiting for Alizeh at the "Love is teda" (Don't ask) spot? How does he know she will turn up? It is a movie, I'm sure she will.

49. Of course she turns up! Why is she bald? Please don't tell me she has cancer.

50. Well, what do you know, she does.

51. Ayan is crying in a public toilet over this. Again. This guy has cried more times in the movie than I have in 32 years of my life.

52. Ayan goes bald too, because what is love if you don't have the same hairstyle! He is taking care of her now with the hope that she will fall in love with him. Don't tell me that happens.

53. No, it doesn't.

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54. What's with all the baldness? It looks super weird.

55. What a pushover Ayan is. Why will anyone fall in love with him?

56. She leaves him and goes away. Well, about time I'll say. Why didn't she use the "No means no" dialog with him? Hadn't PINK released then?

57. So, he's running after her, deciding that it is okay to stay only friends. God, please don't make this an airport love story.

58. Of course he goes to the airport.

59. Wait, did she just fake breathlessness to get off the plane? Did she also say this is the good part of having cancer?

60. Why does Ayaan love her in the first place?

Apparently this movie resurrected Ranbir's career. If playing a loser does that to your career, imagine what playing a successful guy will do. That explains why he did 'Sanju'.

10 comments:

  1. I HATED the movie. None of it made any sense. I found Anushka annoying and over the top. And men should seriously stop stalking women when they have been told that they are just friends. KJo is cuckoo to be making such BS. And I laughed out loud when I read that poetess bit and how she was so lucky. Also Aishwarya spoke lousy Urdu when reciting shayari. Sigh!

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    1. I know, right? What a annoying movie this one. I wonder what the person writing the screenplay was thinking about in terms of the additional small unnecessary nuances put here and there. Aishwarya looked like a Goddess, apart from that everything fell flat.

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  2. Fun points and cool analysis, Soumya :)
    I had watched it in the movie-hall. Yet to write my review though.
    I found some scenes funny & some brought out incredulous gasps. You have expressed them well. Imagine getting a cactus as a gift!

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    1. You watched it in a movie hall and survived? WOW!

      Every scene in the movie was atrocious and so over the top. So much fluff with little story to cover it up.

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  3. Lol, this was a hilarious read! I haven't seen the movie, but now I don't have to! Not that I regret it one bit. I am sure this post is a million times better than that story!

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    1. Don't. Please don't watch the movie.

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  4. Okay, I was laughing at many points you made. I could relate to most of it. I didn't watch the movie, but actually listened to it from a friend. The entire story and I remembered asking her why she had to tell the story of Rockstar suddenly? Yes, the scene where Aishwarya notices Ranbir and finally decides to break-up was the only good thing about the story. However, I wondered how they chose to love in the first place. Half the time I had a problem with figuring out which two were a couple.I had interrupted way too many times before she actually completed the story and we decided not to talk about it further. I decided not to watch the movie at all.

    Loved the read,Sou. What a way to relax myself after a head ache. I laughed and laughed that I feel so much better.

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    1. This reminded you of Rockstar as well? Wow, great minds do think alike :)

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  5. haha..I loved this Soumya.... This movie turned out to be the utter KJo nonsense and you have summed it well with your posts. You know, unlucky I ended up reading his book and reading that pathetic attempt by him to gain sympathy for himself, I realized this is the level of storytelling to be expected form Kjo unless he is just the producer.

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    1. Oh I read that book too and I'm so embarrassed by the fact that I did.

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