LOL: Life Of Leo

Image Source There hardly would be any workplace that doesn't reek of sexism. No, I'm not talking about sexual harassment. Nor am I talking about the income parity. Those are reserved for stand alone posts. I'm talking about sexism in general here. I've finished a decade of my corporate life within the same company and I'm proud to say that I work for a company where more than 50% of the workforce are women. How many of them make it to the top rung I'm not sure, but the current CEO and chairperson is a woman and I'm incredibly proud of that fact. How many of us can say that we work in a company run by a woman and be proud of it? Well, I surely can.

Image Source Roughly around a couple of months ago, I woke up to a comment on one of my pictures on Instagram. The comment said 'Dagar' and I honestly had to google the word to understand what it meant. The comment was left by a random stranger, who did not look a day more than eighteen from his display picture. I immediately blocked him of course, but sat down to think what prompted this random kid to leave such a comment on a picture of mine. Before you can ask, this was a selfie of mine and I was wearing a sleeveless top and only half my shoulders were visible along with my face. The reason I'm saying this is because when I mentioned this incident to a few people in my circle, the first thing they asked me was what was I wearing in the picture. Some even asked me what was the need for me to post a picture of mine and invite trouble. Both men and women were a part of this conversation and for some reason they all thought that it was my fault.

Image Source We women are expected to dress a certain way, behave a certain way, talk a certain way, laugh a certain way, and what not. Who decided that women should be like this? Who decided the default characteristics of a woman? Ever since I can remember, I have always been a rebel. It had nothing to do with the fact that I was girl. I was a curious child and I asked a lot of questions. Growing up, I became ambitious and worked hard to get where I am today. Still there are a few people out there who raise their eyebrows and drop their jaws every time they learn something about me. Most of them can't believe that my parents and my husband "let me" be the way I am. If I had a penny for every time someone asked me the following questions or made the below statements, I'd be richer than Jeff Bezos today.

Image Source Every time my husband and I visit a certain household, he is asked how his work is going on and if it is getting hectic for him. I am asked what I cooked for breakfast/lunch/dinner. If this is not unfair, then what is? I work the exact same hours as my husband in an equally demanding job and contribute equally to the household, yet, why am I only expected to focus on domesticity? Why is a woman expected to be born with a certain set of skills and characteristics? She needs to know to cook well, to clean well, to take care of the house, to satiate her husband, to have an inbuilt motherly instinct, continue to look after the house even with a kid seated on her hip, and not complain. Who defined this? Why aren't women expected to have ambitions, rise up the ladder, be financially independent and excel at their work? It doesn't mean that these women will not take care of a house, they might even do that. Still, why isn't what they want from their life ever co...

Image Source I watched ' Tumhari Sulu ' over the weekend and was really impressed with it. For those who haven't watched it, this movie is the story of Sulochana or Sulu (Vidya Balan, in a role tailor-made for her), a middle-class housewife who lives with her doting husband Ashok (an endearing Manav Kaul) and her 11-year-old son Pranav. As a person with varied interests and hobbies, her education has suffered in the past. As a housewife, she dreams of being a working woman, but her lack of higher education doesn't allow her to get any white collar jobs. She's interested in everything around her and thinks of setting up multiple business as a 50-50 partner with her husband, even though none materializes. She takes part in every competition possible, be it a saree draping contest, a vegetable cutting contest, radio and TV contests or a lemon and spoon race. When she wins a contest on Radio Wow run by Maria (Neha Dhupia, who looks stunning and is brilliant as t...

Image Source I only recently read about the Bechdel Test. For those who are unaware of this; The Bechdel test is a method for evaluating the portrayal of women in fiction. It asks whether a work features at least two women who talk to each other about something other than a man. The requirement that the two women must be named is sometimes added.  This test is apparently used as an indicator for the active presence of women in films and other fiction, and to call attention to gender inequality in fiction. We already saw how women are portrayed in Indian cinema last month . This week, before getting into the real life scenario I want to talk about three classics that miserably fail the Bechdel test. Before we get into that, let's ask ourselves one question. What do we women like to talk about the most? To other women, I mean.

Image Source I watched Alia Bhatt's ' Raazi ' yesterday. Although the movie received glowing reviews, it did not work for me. I found the story to be dragged out unnecessarily and somehow it did not hit the right emotional note. While Alia was fantastic in the movie, a brilliant actor like Vicky Kaushal was wasted. The only take away for me from the movie was having a female protagonist who risks her life for her country. But who is behind all this? Yes, men. As much as Alia's Sehmat is brave, the strings behind are pulled by men. She blindly follows her father orders and marries a man she has never seen. From asking for basic help to get her things done, she needs to use code words to reach out to men. Even in the end, the man who trained her doesn't blink twice before issuing orders to have her killed. I know it is all about patriotism, but why weren't there any other women who could help her? What's the point in being brave, when you are a mere pupp...

Image Source I watched ' Pad Man ' last weekend and I thought that it was a good movie. For me, the movie was all about the love that a man had for his wife and wanting to ensure her well-being. The promotions around the movie was done well too. I know a lot of people came forward and complained that why are they showing the use of sanitary pads when it is not good for the environment and how pads were getting wasted while celebrities were posing with it. The intention of the movie was to get men and women to talk about menstruation and show that it is not something to be ashamed of, and it did it well to a certain extent. At the movie, in the theater, there were an equal number of men and women and I was honestly surprised. I actually thought that men probably would shy away from watching this movie. My husband was keen on watching it as was I and the reaction from the crowd was quite something. Once the movie ended and they showed the real life pad man, there was a stan...

Image Source During early 2012, I developed a hormone problem and started putting on weight. I then got married in March 2013. I was at my heaviest while I got married, but every person who met me after I'd got married attributed my weight gain to marriage. I even got sly remarks like " Oh, now you look married " to " Looks like your husband is keeping you very happy ". While I just replied with an eye roll, I wanted to respond saying that my then boyfriend was keeping me very happy back then too, but since it is a statement that could be easily misconstrued I let it be. Of late when people find out that I'm married, they look shocked. Not that I look like a young, flawless, unwrinkled diva, but because I show no signs of being married. While most women these days seem to change their surnames on Facebook right from their wedding venue, I am someone who has never given this a thought. The thought of taking my husband's name did not occur to me at...

Image Source ***This post was supposed to be published on last Monday. I did put up a #FeministMondays post last week, but it turned out to be way too aggressive and personal for my own liking. An hour after I published the post, I took it down. This post is to replace that. I can always backdate it, but this time I choose not too. Next month on, the #FeministMondays posts will continue to be published on the second Monday of every month*** I recently happened to watch the movie ' Bareilly Ki Barfi ' and I loved every bit of it. I would say that this movie is a step towards feminism because of its female lead. Kriti Sanon's Bitti is strong headed, does what she believes is right, has a firm head on her shoulders and her parents support her and accept her the way she is. One scene in the movie keeps coming back to me. The one where a random guy comes to "see" Bitti with the quest of marriage. When they are asked to go out for a while and speak alone, the ...

Image Source In my previous post , I spoke about how women who drink are judged and scrutinized by the society. Today, I want to raise another important question and attempt to answer it in my own way. As of today, in India, there are 945 females to every 1000 males. And trust me, this is a better statistic when compared to what it was earlier. We all know the answer to this imbalance, don't we? Female foeticide. Years ago, I wrote a post about this very topic and it hurt me so much to write that. A few days ago, I happened to chance upon that post again and I thought what could be the primary reason for people, men and women alike not wanting to give birth to the girl child. As a new month began and a certain loan amount was cut from my bank account, I got my answer. It has been close to five years since I got married, but the loan that I took for my wedding is still on. My parents are still paying off debts that they had incurred at the time of my wedding. Yes, five year...

Image Source " Acche ghar ki ladkiyan alcohol drink nahi karti ". This translates to " Girls from good homes don't drink alcohol " and this was a line made wrongly famous by the movie PINK . Have you ever noticed that when you are out for a meal and how the waiter gives the woman the food menu and the man the drinks menu? In India, drinking is somehow considered a man thing. I'm sick and tired of being judged for enjoying a drink every now and then. If the whole point is about alcohol being bad for health, when did the importance of good health become gender specific? Men can drink, but women can't? Our society needs to grow up way too much. Girls who drink are considered characterless, sluts, immoral and what not. But somehow a man drinking is directly proportional to his virility. To be a man, he must drink. To be a woman, she must not drink. Or rather to be a good woman she must not drink. If this isn't prejudice then I don't know wh...

Image Source In my last post , I spoke about how feminism did not exist as a concept for me while growing up. Thanks to my chauvinistic father and uncles, I thought that the women are expected to worship their husbands and do all the chores at home while the men lazed in front of the TV and expected their wives to answer to the snap of their fingers. Being the man of the house meant too much to them that they were expected to be put on a pedestal and looked up to. Many women had the same thoughts too and this became a norm without anyone making a big deal out of it. While feminism as a concept is making waves now, some women who claim to be feminists themselves are getting it all wrong. Today we'll look at the other side, where women expect men to treat them like equals in all the wrong ways possible. It is no hidden fact that I have a certain amount of hatred for housewives. I have been very vocal about it and have received my share of flak for it too. But, I stand by my t...

Image Source Feminism is a word that came into existence very recently. Better late than never, one would say. But has one thought how it would have been had feminism existed right from day one? If men and women enjoyed equal rights right from the evolution of time, would there ever be a need for the very word? Today, feminism is considered a bad word. Most people don't know what it is and a lot of wrong and unnecessary things are also being done in the name of feminism. There is no denying that. Feminism is about having equal rights for men and women. It is not male bashing. It is not the elevation of the female on a pedestal. It is not about celebrating women's day. Feminism is not about all the million things that it is deemed about. It is only about one thing. Gender Equality. Still, most of us do not get this. There are quite a lot of women who call themselves "feminists" just to appear cool. These are the same women who succumb to husbands at home and th...