2010 is going good. I know that I have changed. And in so many ways that I can't pen down. I've decided to stay oblivious to many things around and that's how it works the best for me. Call me selfish, foolish, naive or whatever but this is how I choose to be. They say that a person who is happy doesn't have all the facts. Oh well, I don't mind being that person. I may be postponing pain for later, but when that moment comes I'm sure I'll deal with it as I have dealt with everything else.
Just figured out that monotony is good if you are used to it. Not that I lead a monotonous life, believe me, my life is anything but monotonous. 'Life is what happens to you, when you're busy making other plans'. This line has been coined keeping me in mind for sure. The twists and turns, ups and downs and most importantly the roundabouts my life takes can put the most complicated roller coaster ride in the world to shame. Not that I'm proud of it, but I've learnt to sail through it with ease. If life seems to be going smooth, I get worried. Damn it, good or bad, when you go through something constantly for more than 10 times I guess you just get used to it.
And have I got used to it or what. Believe me life is simpler when you decide not to care. Things keep happening around you, just give a walk through. Nothing, almost nothing bothers me now. I'm used to not being acknowledged for the hard work I put in. I'm used to people just telling me a lame "Good" when I accomplish something great. I'm used to listening to the woes of other people even when I don't care. I'm used to the cold callousness of some people. I'm used to the annoying blatant flattery that comes my way. I'm used to listening to "This guy is good for you, no this one is better, no not him, what about him" from my sister. I'm used to the void in my life. I'm used to writing any kind of poetry, even if its in the middle of the night. I'm used to listening to "You're different" from almost everyone who meets me. I absolutely don't care if its in a good or bad way.
I'm used to going out for a drink every time one of my girls ask me "Hey child, free for a drink". I'm used to listening to "Hey butti, let go na" from my office girls. I'm used to dodging talks about holy matrimony when mom brings it up. I'm used to avoiding going out with the opposite sex, even if I have to use the same honest excuse every time. I'm used to not saying a no to the most important people in my life even if I want to say it. I'm used to smiling even when I know its killing me inside. I'm used to saying "Yeah, I'm OK" even when I want to scream my lungs out. I'm used to breaking hearts because I have no other option. I'm used to people getting hurt and walking out of my life. I'm used to new people wanting to be a part of my life. I'm used to the wailing of my neighbor's daughter at the stroke of midnight just when my head hits the pillow. I'm used to praying to God to give me peace of mind. Seems like, God has just got used to listening to it too :P .Oh boy, I can go on and on about this.
Trust me, nothing, absolutely nothing is hard when you get used to it. If you cannot avoid things, its better to accept it and learn to live with it.
PS: I'm also used to writing posts this long even when I decide I'm not gonna write anything more than 2 paragraphs :D.