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Freedom of Thought

Everyone has an opinion, so do I. Even though I speak 10,000 words a minute, more often than not I refrain from putting forth my opinion. If I need a suggestion or help I'd directly approach a person and ask for it. But when unwanted answers come my way I feel like ramming an iron rod right into their mouth.

Today, matter of factly I realised that since yesterday, its been exactly 2 years since I've been single. Okay, that would not be the appropriate word to use. But I'd go by Katrina Kaif's statement this time; "As long as I'm not married, I'm single". So I am too, I guess. Ah well lets not prod much upon it. So when I happened to tell this to my friends(acquaintances) such was the reaction:

1) Not bad eh, two years for a girl like you!
Me: :|. Seriously what do you think I am?

2) Its okay man, big deal. Someday maybe.
Me: WTF! I never complained, did I?

3) Move on girl, high time. Don't you feel the need to have a boyfriend?
Me: First part, yes. The next, No!

4) You're mad. Don't waste your options. Try them.
Me: :| :| :/. Thanks, but no thanks.

5) Explore.
Me: Eh? Its not an isolated territory.

6) Best thing, get married.
Me: Haha, Thanks :D

7) Really? Good for me ;)
Me: For you yes maybe, for me No.

8) Seriously, that long eh? Must be depressing no?
Me: Not exactly, but stop rubbing it in.

9) So, I know this guy who'll be perfect for you.
Me: Do I look like I care.

10) Why single? Always have a backup na.
Me: Whats that now?

Let me stop now, before I lose my mind. Seriously, why am I friends with these people? :|

Well actually I'm a very happy person, although at times I prove otherwise with stuff like this. The first thing I do when I'm miffed/pissed is lash out. Since the past two years I've made a serious effort to not take out my frustrations on people. Oh believe me I was a terror some time ago. But again as you grow up you realise things and blah blah. So now that I cant speak, I choose to write. I can always do so in my journal, which I do when I get back home. But when I'm at work its always a multiplication theory of frustrations and then it ends up here. I need to be more careful :/

Okay, so I said that I am a pretty happy person. I have a decent enough job, make good enough money to sustain all my needs, have great albeit crazy friends, have enough people in my life to make me feel loved, have music in my ipod, have my mini library at home and my movie collection. And most of all, I have really supportive parents and an extremely possessive sister who lifts an eyebrow each time I mention about a guy in my life. She has her own opinions and has tried to set me up with almost all her eligible friends. Ah well, I wasn't interested before and am not even now. I'll pick the guy I love and will do it when the time is right. Until then people can leave me alone.

There is this girl I know who feels extremely sorry for me because I don't have a boyfriend. Reason, she thinks I don't have anybody to go to when I'm upset or sad. Eh excuse me? What are friends for then? That is when I realised that she has only one person and only one priority in life. I wonder whom she goes to, if she's pissed at him! I pity her and the awful lot out there who think that life is incomplete without a partner. Life sure is more beautiful and worth living if you have the perfect partner, but life is not impossible without one. There are much things to life than having a girlfriend/boyfriend. If you are in love and have found one, then perfect! Good for you. Now let others live in peace.

I have no complaints and no regrets. Well, a few regrets maybe but they are worthwhile. I'm actually happy in an overtly optimistic way, that this happened. I learnt a lot about myself, others and have learnt how to live life. I've brought a lot of positive changes in myself and have come to a stage where I can smile daily, if not laugh whole heartedly. Depression takes time to heal. Who ever said time heals, forgot to specify the recommended dose. And we all know that trial and error doesn't work in medication :P. I've started the healing process long ago, but at times nostalgia gets the better out of you. I can't help it, I'm only human.

I'm content with whatever I have now. I was never a greedy person anyway. I need time. I know 2 years is a lot for anybody. But I'm not anybody. I'm me, and that makes it even more worse. But I'm sure I'll get there someday. And soon. I just don't need any interruptions or fake motivations until then. And most importantly I want to be alone for sometime. Love is not something that will happen when I decide. I was a hardcore romantic and I still am. If I get into something, it will only be because I'm in love. But I need a break now, solitude maybe. So the people who are trying to set me up with their 'friend', 'neighbour', 'cousin' or 'friend's friend' can take some rest. And the people who think that I'm depressed or lonely because I don't have a boyfriend; Ah well, I don't care.

Freedom of thought for you, freedom of speech for me.



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