I want to scream. Scream bad. Scream loudly. Only, this time out of joy. Every single messed up thing in life is slowly falling in to place. I know that changes don't happen overnight; but the start has begun. Finally begun. Here I stand fingers crossed and a heart filled with hope, watching life unfold in all its glory.
Looking back at life I feel so pathetic as to how stupid I have been. Pathetic, foolish and crazy. Its just a matter of a thought and a decision. They say some decisions change your life forever. Mine did. And I haven't stopped smiling since then. Speaks a lot, doesn't it?
Everything is finally normal at home and yes the want of returning home is now back. Strike one. I'll be moving into a new process at work starting next month, leaving behind the stressful and tiresome role that I was handling in the old one. This one's more tough but will do great guns for my resume, plus I get to sit next to my best friend. Strike two. Two most important things in my life are now sorted. The rest can take care of themselves.
And me? I'm still strolling the lane caught between love and infatuation. Can't seem to figure out what is what. The problems here are two. One, this time I'm 200% sure that he's the wrong guy. Two, he's in love with me. I don't want to do something stupid and end up hurting either of us. Atleast not him. Not another one for God's sake. I know myself way too well. My feelings toggle rapidly than the damn pendulum of grandfather's clock. But, I have a good feeling about this one. Dekhte hai, kya hota hai. So, I'm taking my own sweet time to figure this out. Not that it doesn't hold much priority, but I'm still basking in the clear air of the above two.
Now I know, whatever happens, happens for the better. My family is now more closer, I value my work more, and I now know that I can fall in love again. None of these were tough. All they needed were a chance and half a cartload of patience. I gave them both and will continue to do so. Hope things turn out good.
About the past, a part of me still loves it, and the other loathes it.
I'm feeding the latter.