One, two, three. Here we go.
I want to post this before I end up getting too high and venting out crap. I'm only writing this because something inside me is not letting me stay still. I'm thrillfully happy today. It had been ages since I've felt this way. First, my hardwork finally paid off and now when I see my work flow so smoothly and beautifully I feel proud. Second, I got a zillion compliments today on the way I looked. Even though a few bitches turned green, it only added to the exhilaration. Third, striking realisation: I can feel again. Duh, obviously for someone else. This close friend *cough* of mine turned the whole of me green by talking about this particular chick. I kept nodding and listening but the inside of my head was screaming 'Stay away from him you bitch. He's mine'. The jealously and sulking lasted for a good 20 minutes until I saw her. Then it all went poof! Reason? I'm way hotter than her ;)
Atleast now I know that I can feel for someone else and I no more have to hitch hike on the post called the 'past'. No, I don't want to read much into this and think why I felt like this, what does this mean, why do I care, why is this happening and all that blah. The only thing that matters now is that I can feel again for another being. You need to be in my place to get the feeling. Trust me, it feels like a rebirth.
This might sound really funny coming from a cynic like me, but, whatever happens surely does happen for a reason. My ruler Murphy's getting wicked by the day and life's been throwing more lemons than I can count. But you know what life, I've developed a taste for lemons now. What else have you got? I'm not gonna quit. Like I once said before, I'd fight until life gives up.
They say that you will have no idea as to how strong you are until that is the only option you have left. True. Lemonade was never an option for me. Since salt comes free (well almost), tequila's the word, and I'm addicted. I'm so glad that these things happened. Even though I have written a million posts cribbing about all the bad things in life, in the end I've emerged out a tougher and stronger person. And for some weird reason life's toughest questions seem to be getting answered today. No, its not the wine talking. Not as yet. But the zillion and million used is pure exaggeration.
We all have only one life to live and we might as well as live it the way we want to. Fuck the rules and monotony. Nothing is right or wrong. Do what you feel is right and have no regrets if it goes wrong. Because no matter what happens, in the end, something good emerges out of it. I have been denying this all this while but its the plain simple fucking truth. This friend of mine is leaving forever in a couple of weeks but he's leaving me with the feeling that I can feel again. It does hurt yes, but also, I feel nice inside. No point in random thinking and worrying. Let life take its own course and if there is someone called a God watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Amidst all this hoopla of work, stress, lemonade and tequila comes another realisation. I might actually be falling out of love. I am falling out of love. It does not make sense nor does it seem to matter anymore.
P.S: Yes, the post title was intentional.