Light it Up

With all the noise and smoke doing the rounds, I hope everyone is safe out there. Wishing you all a very happy and extremely safe Diwali.

Its that time of the year where you burn out all the bitter memories, let it flow into smoke and look out for new beginnings. Not breaking the norm, that is exactly what I shall do. I'd like to light up a few people like a monster rocket and let them shoo away to any other God forsaken planet. For good. I'd like to cuddle up all my bitter memories of the recent past into a giant flowerpot and watch it sparkle up before settling into dust. Ah, the satisfaction that gives! I do it every year and well life has been such that I have to do it every year. If only Murphy pays attention to someone else and wouldn't be so hell bent upon chasing the Lioness. Bring it on Murphy, its been 25 years and I'm still standing here waiting for your surprises. Now that I've won like a 7379563455 times, I think I still will. Suck up, Loser!

Over the past year, one thing that I have been extremely good at is cutting out people at the right time. It continues. When a blessed distraction turns into emotion and starts digging into your life, you know its time to burn it out. I'm a psyched out Lioness who loves to dangerous extents. The very fact that it took me about 3 years to get over a 3 year old relationship proves it. So, I've decided to stay out of anything that remotely seems like love. For my own sanity that is. Obviously no one suddenly wakes up and makes such a decision. Suddenly uncertainty blurred out and I got slapped hard by certainty. It did not turn out good, but I'm fiercely happy that it ended. It hurt exactly for 4 hours and then it was back into smiles. Damn, how I turned into an eternal optimist is something I wouldn't know. Well, who's complaining?

One more thing that I wouldn't know is that how could I get it wrong two times in a row? Inspite of being so extremely cautious I let it happen. But I'm so happy that I did not let the temptation get me. I held on instead of plunging into it headlong. The very reason that I could get out of it in such minimal time. Coming to think of it, it doesn't seem like it was love in the first place. Well now that it is over, its over. And just like last time, this time too this is not something that I'd want to look back to. It is vital to kill people in your head, to make room for new ones. Crazy logic maybe, but it works for me. Its over, and it shall stay that way. Period.

No matter what, in the end it always turns out to be fine. As I sit here all dressed up in traditional attire looking forward to the Diwali party at my best friend's place, I can only thank God for giving me the strength to get past everything in life. And by everything I mean everything. Its not been an easy ride, but I have come out of it with my head held high and with absolutely no regrets. I'm so extremely proud of myself. And there is no way that I'd get cynical about love and relationships. I'm burning out the past memories, but the romantic in me continues to live on and strong.

Enough with my rant. Damn, can anyone else get so random and still stick on to a sole topic called love. Naah, no one but me can do that! So, lets say a quick prayer and head out to burn the pain, past, darkness and bitterness from our lives. Let all our lives be only filled with light and happiness from now on. Amen!

9 comments:

  1. Sounds similar to my post :)
    life teaches us a lot of things and it definitely makes you realize how strong you are. Here's to new and happy beginnings!
    Happy diwali!

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  2. A FRESH START.
    What more can I say, when my mind is running miles per second thinking about what you wrote.
    SIGH! LIFE!!!!

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  3. Happy Diwali Soumya :)

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  4. @Chandana,
    A lot similar. Here's to new beginings :)

    @Raajii,
    Thanks and Happy Diwali to you too :)

    @Red,
    Fresh start indeed. Nothing more, nothing less.

    @Sonia,
    Thanks dear and wish you the same :)

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  5. I like rants! I like it always...rants are the most genuine posts and I took darn 8 years to get over a 5 year old relationship...now he is a father so I could let go rather easily...it was so smooth...like letting the feather flow in a storm... :)

    Keep up, more love and blessings...*hugs*

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  6. @Chintan,
    8 years? You my girl are an insipration :)

    Thank you so much. Hugs!

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  7. Love?Aint that Loss Of Valuable Energy????:-D

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  8. @Rahul,
    I guess. But love usually is what you want it to be. Addiction, distraction, vanity, boredom, lust etc etc :)

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