Now that I have finished more than half a year of being married, I think I can talk about it. For those new here, well, I got married on the 22nd of March this year. Since then, I have been itching to write about the most talked about union in the word. But I waited patiently, for some experience, to learn a few things and unlearn more. Marriage sure is an eye opener, not necessarily because love is blind. Mostly because you start seeing a new phase of life, unfold before you. As much as I want to say that marriage doesn't change anything, the truth is that it does. Not me as a person, but the way I interpret and understand things. It might be different for different people, but I would say that marriage has brought out the best in me.
Like I said, marriage has only changed the way I interpret things, not me as a person. And like I always say, its only a marriage, not rebirth. People who I did not even know existed have began to ask me as to why I haven't changed after marriage. Tell me one thing. What should I change? I'm sorry, I did not read any marriage manual before I got hitched. I just fell in love and decided to take the plunge with the man I love. Did I miss something? If so, kindly leave a comment below. Everyone says I'm still the same. Of course I am. I got married at the age of 26, so that's 26 years of being a certain kind of person we are talking about here. Am I supposed to undo this? Even when my husband loves me for being this way? Damn, I so should have watched those saas-bahu shit they air on TV everyday.
Yes, I'm married. That doesn't mean I stop wearing my low waist skinny jeans and ganjees. It doesn't mean I abandon my micro shorts for heavily bordered sarees. It doesn't mean I stop cutting my hair short. It doesn't mean that I can't dance around. It doesn't mean that I lose my identity of being, well, ME. Its crazy how people just expect that I would
metamorphose change into a combo of Tulsi and Parvathi sprinkled with a pinch of Priya. I know that I'm married. I haven't taken the thali out of my body since the day Cal tied it around my neck. I never will. It is something that I truly believe in. Marriage is sacred to me and I hold it very close to my heart. While we are on that, I wear my toe rings too. Except for when I wear tight shoes, but most of the time they are on my feet. I like looking married. The very fact that such things exist means that they mean something. Right? I like having the red kumkum on my forehead too. Who says you can't team up all of these with modern clothes? Its got nothing to do with marriage. You call that a sense of style.
The thing that bothers me most post marriage are the comments on my weight. A colleague who I occasionally run into in my campus always asks me with a sly smile, "So, the weight is all the marriage effect eh?". Some people wink at me while they talk about my weight and others shyly say that my husband has been taking good care about me. I just look around and try to count the waves in the air while they do that. Seriously people, if you actually think that I put on weight because of the sex after marriage, then well, I don't know if I should laugh or cry at your ignorance. Sex is sex right? Before or after marriage? What has weight got to do with it? For the interested, I put on weight when I took a break from work and stayed at home for three months in early 2012. No exercise and only rest, coupled with a severe attack of PCOD, were the main causes for my weight gain. I don't know why people care so much. They called me stick insect when I was thin and now that I had put on weight, they started making their own interpretations about it. Marriage happened a year later. After being a size zero for 25 years, I am very happy the way I am today, thank you very much.
And when people ask me "How is married life?" all I want to do is find the nearest gutter and push them into it. What sort of a question is that anyway? And what am I supposed to reply? When I told a friend that I was going to Purple Haze for the weekend, she almost fainted. "You drink?" I said yes, I always did. The look on her face said it all after that. It was followed by a series of questions I had no interest in answering. But now that I'm married, I guess the most important change that I should embrace is to get used to these garish questions.
Another thing people notice the most about me is my perfectly manicured nails. According to them I don't do any work at home, hence my nails stay perfect. Hello? What if I am a hard working woman who manages to take out time to take care of myself. I'm a really good cook and I thoroughly enjoy cooking. I do the cleaning up after that too. I'm hardly left with any time at the end of the day to care for myself but I make sure I do. Be it a hot mineral salt bath or a self manicure pedicure session. I like to take care of myself. I did that before marriage too. So, what's the big deal?
I stay with my in-laws and people talk hoo-haw about it. The initial plan was to move out and stay separate, but after a couple of months we did not feel like moving away. I guess I am the only woman who wants to stay with her in-laws and not away. Two people can never make a family.They remain a couple. And I want a family. Of course, it comes with its share of adjustments and compromises, but hell yeah I'd put up with it without a frown. I'm a hard-core non vegetarian and they are a typical orthodox Brahmin family who do not eat even garlic. I do miss my meat, eggs and garlic laced food, but waking up next to the man I love is more important to me. But no, I have not given up on it. I still hog on my meat and fish like there is no tomorrow. I just do not have it at home. My husband makes it a point to take me out and get me to eat what ever I want to. I dress the way I have to everyday and on festivals and occasions too I dress the way I want to. No pressure, no adjustments.
When the people around me do not expect me to change, why should I? Not that I would change if they expected me to. You only change things that you are not happy with right? So if I and my husband are totally happy with the way I am, then why should I change anything? It is as simple as it is. I want to remain the woman my husband fell in love with.
I say it again. Its a marriage, not a rebirth. There is nothing to change. I am what I am. And shall always be.