I was watching 'Namastey London' today. It is one of my favorite Bollywood movies. This love story that launched Katrina Kaif into the limelight is an awesome tale of two incompatible people. But I'm not writing this to promote the movie, but there is a dialogue in the movie that tugged my heart. Akshay tells his father in law that you want everything from abroad, but when it comes to finding a partner for your child, then it has to be an Indian. This rings true in more ways than one. I have seen so many families settled abroad who come to India to find a girl for their sons. The poor girl would have no clue about their lifestyle there and will struggle to adjust later. But yet she is fascinated with the whole idea of being married to an NRI man. The concept of moving to a foreign land is the top one dream for every Indian. Everyone wants to go settle abroad and blend into the western lifestyle there. No matter how narrow minded their thoughts might be.
Oflate my Facebook wall is filled with updates of people who are now settled in other countries. The women who did not step out of home without wearing a dupatta, are now suddenly dressed in frocks and skirts. Looking hideous and uncomfortable to the core. Just because you are now in a different country, doesn't mean that you change your sense of style just so that you can fit in. It is hilarious to see people dressed in multicolored scarfs and boots when the sun behind is shining bright. As if these clothes were not troubling enough, everyday you see atleast a thousand pictures uploaded into various albums. A hundred in front of the Statue Of Liberty, another hundred behind it and another hundred on the way to it. The fascination for the United States remain strong but we Indians are proud as long as we are out of India and in another country. No matter where, Facebook updates and fancy clothes will surely follow.
Now let us get to the people who are not going anywhere. They make such a big deal about people who are travelling abroad. "Oh you know, XYZ is going to foreign. He is so lucky na". For all you know, that poor chap might be going there to try to make a decent living for his family back in India. There are so many people who fail to do good here and are called by few relatives to help them out in their business abroad. I know of so many students who take up odd jobs to survive abroad while their family back in India is boasting about sending their children abroad to study. I know a 100% pure brahmin, vegetarain family who speak non-stop about their son studying in "Yamerica". I also know that the same son is working at a butchers, cutting beef to earn some additional income. Living abroad is not as rosy as the Indians sitting in India think it is.
The craze of going abroad is extremely high in corporate. I know people who leave everything they have here just so that they can go abroad for a year or two. I know of women who are new mothers and leave behind their infants who are less than a year old to achieve their dreams of going abroad. And husbands leave behind their wives and their family for the same. I find such people heartless and stupid. A few years ago I had a job where I was travelling abroad almost every month. I was away for months together and I did enjoy it at first. At that time I was going through a tough time and the travel was a much needed distraction. And then I met a guy and I fell in love. The minute we started a relationship, I did not want to leave him even for a day. I changed my project and stayed back in the country. It has been my best decision till date and the guy today is my husband and we are still so much in love and haven't been apart even for a day.
Staying away from your loved ones, just to make some money is a concept I do not understand at all. I'd rather spend some good time with my husband and family instead of making ten times the money I am making now. I have had good chances of going abroad but my husband works in an Indian company and I do not want to leave him and go. Yes, he can quit his job or take a break and come with me for a while. But I do not want him to do it. I am not trying to be a compromising wife here, it is just that the thought of moving abroad doesn't excite me much. I'd rather stay around my folks and make sure that I am there for them whenever they need me. I've seen so many children who do not even come back to India when their parents have passed away. They say they did not get the tickets or that it was too expensive. It is a horrible thing and there is no way I would do something like that.
This doesn't mean that I will never go abroad again. I'm a techie and I know that I can find a job anywhere. Else, I always have my writing to fall back on. If my husband gets a chance to go abroad for a while, then I will join him. But just for a short while. And I would not be changing my wardrobe or uploading a million photos on Facebook. No other country or city can ever beat Bangalore for me and I am sure that I want to spend the rest of my life here with my parents and the man I love. That is more important to me than anything else. The Indian obsession with foreign land will never change, no matter how many centuries pass by. A person going abroad to work or a couple staying overseas are considered big people as they are on foreign land. Yes, just because they are on foreign land. They might be a plumber or a beggar there, but who cares?