LOL: Life Of Leo

Image Source Growing up, I thought that the only mode men came in was "angry". My father and uncles were perpetually unhappy and always ready to blow their fuses. We had to walk on eggshells around them with a constant fear of taking a misstep. My poor dog bore the brunt of my father's frustrations back then. As much as it was a toxic environment to grow up in, I now think that all they needed was a space to express their emotions. Clearly, they weren't able to come to terms with the pressures of taking care of the family. I strongly believe that the most burdened being on the planet is a middle-class Indian male who is expected to singlehandedly support his family, while keeping his ego and pride in check. My mother was the primary breadwinner of our family; this should have minimized my father's frustrations, but it only seemed to multiply it. Taunts by relativities didn't help either. A man is expected to do what he should, after all.

Image Source A recent article stirred the plastic pot by claiming that career-oriented Barbies wear flats while fashion-focused Barbies cling to heels. As if a woman’s ambition could be measured by her choice in footwear. The Barbie movie, for all its pink-splashed visual grandeur and viral soundbites, only amplified this bizarre binary. Do you recall the ending where she is seen in Birkenstocks instead of heels? Going to a OB-GYN of all places. I think the intention was to show that she's a normal woman now. Well, what if I personally like to visit my OB-GYN in heels? Or boots? Or whatever I'm wearing during the course of the day where I have to do a million things and visit the doctor. Instead of elevating the dialogue around femininity and freedom, the movie reduced it to stereotypes draped in designer clothes and pop feminism.  Once a doll meant to inspire imaginative play, Barbie has now become a battleground for social commentary; and not always in the most productive wa...

Image Source Ah, the great Indian mentality; a unique blend of centuries-old traditions, unspoken rules, and a dash of unsolicited blame. If there's one thing we've mastered over the years, it's this: Whenever something goes wrong in a man's life, let's point the finger at his woman. Whether it’s the office presentation he messed up, the fact that he doesn't have the time to meet his own parents often, a change in his tastes or priorities, his habits or the cricket match he failed to win, there’s always a woman to blame. It’s like the woman is the invisible force behind every man’s performance, except when he does something great. Then, of course, it’s all him. But I digress. Let’s take a recent and omnipresent example – the Indian cricket team.

Image Source You don't have to be always alright Sometimes, it is okay to not be nice For being honest about what you feel Dear woman, don't apologize You don't have to do it all Everything you don't have to supervise For getting that me-time to relax Dear woman, don't apologize

Image Source We women are expected to dress a certain way, behave a certain way, talk a certain way, laugh a certain way, and what not. Who decided that women should be like this? Who decided the default characteristics of a woman? Ever since I can remember, I have always been a rebel. It had nothing to do with the fact that I was girl. I was a curious child and I asked a lot of questions. Growing up, I became ambitious and worked hard to get where I am today. Still there are a few people out there who raise their eyebrows and drop their jaws every time they learn something about me. Most of them can't believe that my parents and my husband "let me" be the way I am. If I had a penny for every time someone asked me the following questions or made the below statements, I'd be richer than Jeff Bezos today.

Image Source Social Media was the perfect tool for us to connect with our old friends and like minded people. It also was a good tool to express your thoughts, have discussions and learn about many things. And then, it turned toxic. Now, Social Media is nothing but a place one goes to feel good or miserable about themselves. It is like a competition where everyone feels the need to prove something to someone else and everyone is competing with one another for an invisible prize or an inflated ego. People are quick to take offense and retaliate often spreading hate and vitriol. While it has given a platform for everyone to have a say, most people use it as a tool to show off to the world or desperately try to fit in to it.

Image Source Every time my husband and I visit a certain household, he is asked how his work is going on and if it is getting hectic for him. I am asked what I cooked for breakfast/lunch/dinner. If this is not unfair, then what is? I work the exact same hours as my husband in an equally demanding job and contribute equally to the household, yet, why am I only expected to focus on domesticity? Why is a woman expected to be born with a certain set of skills and characteristics? She needs to know to cook well, to clean well, to take care of the house, to satiate her husband, to have an inbuilt motherly instinct, continue to look after the house even with a kid seated on her hip, and not complain. Who defined this? Why aren't women expected to have ambitions, rise up the ladder, be financially independent and excel at their work? It doesn't mean that these women will not take care of a house, they might even do that. Still, why isn't what they want from their life ever co...

Image Source Everyone by now knows that I'm an outspoken person who calls a spade a spade. I always speak my mind and never sugarcoat stuff. I have always been straightforward even when I was child. While I am pretty diplomatic at work, because I need to be, I still remain outspoken and express my thoughts freely and as often as I can. I have been often told that I have a dominant personality and that I'm someone who likes to lead. While I do agree on the latter, the former is highly debatable. I've lost count of the number of times people have called me "Bold" (Gosh! I hate that word!), just because I choose to voice my opinion. While most people just nod along or prefer to stay quiet and go through it, I choose not to. It is not that I am trying to be a rebel without a cause here. I just believe in doing things the right way. If something seems off or wrong, I talk about it. I am called bold because of this. I am called dominant because of this. Well, if t...

Image Source Soon, I complete 10 years of Corporate life. I have loved every bit of it, but it was not my first job. Growing up in a middle class family, I had to give up on a lot of wants and sometimes needs too. Way too early in life, I started doing promotional jobs to make money for myself. I remember the first promotional job that I took up. It was an event for a mall inauguration in the heart of the city and since I was in between semesters, I took it up happily. The event was for 15 days and I got paid 250 bucks for a day. A bunch of us had to wear T-Shirts with the mall's name on it and promote it around the area and share pamphlets. It was a fun job. This was only the beginning of my journey of financial independence. During school, I used to work in mom's boutique and make money on the side. Watching her work and helping her in small ways back then, enables me to create clothes for myself today. I saw a dearth of money while growing up and how my parents were st...

Image Source During early 2012, I developed a hormone problem and started putting on weight. I then got married in March 2013. I was at my heaviest while I got married, but every person who met me after I'd got married attributed my weight gain to marriage. I even got sly remarks like " Oh, now you look married " to " Looks like your husband is keeping you very happy ". While I just replied with an eye roll, I wanted to respond saying that my then boyfriend was keeping me very happy back then too, but since it is a statement that could be easily misconstrued I let it be. Of late when people find out that I'm married, they look shocked. Not that I look like a young, flawless, unwrinkled diva, but because I show no signs of being married. While most women these days seem to change their surnames on Facebook right from their wedding venue, I am someone who has never given this a thought. The thought of taking my husband's name did not occur to me at...

Image Source ***This post was supposed to be published on last Monday. I did put up a #FeministMondays post last week, but it turned out to be way too aggressive and personal for my own liking. An hour after I published the post, I took it down. This post is to replace that. I can always backdate it, but this time I choose not too. Next month on, the #FeministMondays posts will continue to be published on the second Monday of every month*** I recently happened to watch the movie ' Bareilly Ki Barfi ' and I loved every bit of it. I would say that this movie is a step towards feminism because of its female lead. Kriti Sanon's Bitti is strong headed, does what she believes is right, has a firm head on her shoulders and her parents support her and accept her the way she is. One scene in the movie keeps coming back to me. The one where a random guy comes to "see" Bitti with the quest of marriage. When they are asked to go out for a while and speak alone, the ...

Image Source Two weeks ago, I turned 31 and had one of the best birthdays of my life. My priorities for the next year of my life is simple - To focus on my physical and mental health, to spend a lot of time with my husband and friends, to travel as much as I can and to read as many books as I can. Apart from this, I want to excel at work and climb one more step in the professional ladder. Yeah, that's about it. Having a child has never featured in my list of priorities and I doubt if it ever will. Before people start assuming that I'm a child hating witch, let me tell you that I actually do like children. I like watching them and playing with them, but in small doses. Children are beautiful creatures and I think that it is amazing to watch them grow. But do I want to do that? No. Not as of now at-least. The problem with a woman my age being a non-mom, is that, most of my friends are now parents to one or two and in some cases three children. Good for them. I'm sure ...

Image Source For some reason, all the articles that I've read since morning have been about marriage and the difficulties that surround it. I am not a staunch believer in the institution of marriage but I do believe hopelessly in love. I married the man I love around four years ago and we have continued to be lovers and soul mates. It worked out very well for me, so yeah I'd like to say that marriage is good. The reason why I say that I'm not a big fan of marriage is because of the forced relationships and responsibilities that come with it. When most couples say that they don't feel married, it mainly means that they do not stay with their parents. The only time that I've felt married is when I stayed with my in-laws for the first two years of marriage. It was no less than hell. Today as my husband and I stay on our own, we're back to being in a relationship rather than being forced to being man and wife.

Image Source A few weeks ago,  when I stayed up all night being sick, all I wanted to do the next day to take a leave from work and sleep. The idea was to sleep until 10 am and then drop a message to my manager about being sick. It was just 6 am then and I thought I had more than enough time in hand. My eyes were exhausted as I hadn't slept a wink the previous night and I was having a terrible headache along with severe body pain. It was gloomy outside and it was the perfect weather to cuddle up inside a blanket and go to sleep. I had just closed my eyes when I woke up to a loud sound. That of a Shehnai . I stay on the third floor of an apartment complex, so imagine how loud it must have been. Turns out it was a religious procession by a man and his gaudily decked up cow asking for alms in exchange of blessings. Why he had to be so loud I do not know.

Image Source In an instant, everything changed The music soon turned to a scream It all unfolded like a painful drama Scarier than any ghastly dream It happened right in front of me In a room that was filled with love One second people were holding hands Then it all became about push and shove We all were trying to survive The world looks down upon us anyway All we did was fall in love And yet others had lots to say The first shot shook me up From where I was, I saw him fall The screams of others blinded me  For help, I couldn't even call He shot at the crowd randomly Spitting and hurling abuses all the while I ran and hid in the bathroom When I looked back I saw the bodies pile I managed to call my mother Told her I loved her for the last time She couldn't believe what was happening Loving someone was not a crime He did come for me soon I lay down, pretending to be dead I thought he would walk past me Bu...

Image Source I've always been a fiercely independent woman and I hate dependency of any kind. Depending on someone else for anything completely ticks me off. This is the very reason why I don't have a maid or a cook at home. I don't like waiting around for someone to get my own things done. More often than not a man who is dependent on his mother for everything is called a "Mama's Boy". And every woman hates such a man. Because who wants to be stuck around with a man who waits for his mother to do things for him or follows her orders to the tee. The mother clearly holds the leash of the son and guides his every move. Sadly she refuses to let go off the leash even when he has a new woman in his life now. Yes, we have all heard of the quintessential Mama's boy. What about the Mama's girl? At the risk of feminists boycotting my blog and dissing this post, I'm still going to come out and say this. The concept of Mama's girl does exist and i...

In today's world of crying out for feminism, women are failing to notice one big thing. While there is a group of women holding slogans and screaming out for equal rights, there also is another group that does not want women to have equal rights as that of men. This second group is more often than not led by a woman. In the almost three decades of my existence as a woman, I have tried my best to succeed in every step of my life. But the ones who wanted to hold me back and point a finger at me were always women. When a woman climbs up the corporate ladder, a lot of them think that she's sleeping her way to the top. In the group that thinks so, there at least will be one or two women. Maybe women cannot handle each other's success. If that's the case then this whole act of feminism is a facade. It should be called selfishism instead. A mother-in-law will not spare a moment to find faults in her son's wife. The daughter-in-law would be a working lady and would no...

I'm not perfect and yet I'm very happy the way I am. I do not have the perfect body or fair, flawless skin. I've accepted myself the way I am and that is the same way I accept others too. Being a realist, vanity is not something that I'm particular about. I look for a person's personality first and only then go for the other things. I have dated both good looking and average looking men as looks were never a priority for me. It was important yes, but not at the cost of intelligence and a good sense of humor. Having said that, I know and accept the way I look. So I know what is within my reach and what is not. I am a decent looking girl and I wanted a decent looking guy. That's about it. I did not want to be vain and wait for Mr. Universe to come sweep me off my feet. After all, I'm no Miss. Universe here. It is no hidden fact that we Indians are obsessed with fair skin. Even though more than 60% of our population is brown, white is the color always pre...

painting by Cesar Santos Talk all you want about my body It does not matter to me I'm more than all of you put together And yet only my size you can see Who defined the perfect body To look like a fragile hour glass I do not want to comply to this This body shaming, I shall pass I am happy the way I am I have curves, here and there Cellulite and stretch marks appear too I love them, why do you care Small, medium, large or bigger It is just a label after all Why desperately try to fit in Instead choose comfort and stand tall People will continue to laugh Like their body, their minds are thin Pay no heed to them Carrying some extra weight is not a sin What matters is how healthy you are Your stats have nothing to do with it Take care of yourself the way you want to Do not worry, as long as you're fit Ignore the vanity and march ahead Paint your life with your own color chart Size sometimes does matter Only ...

Image Source As a child I have never feared God. Since my parents were not very religious, they did not impose it on us. Growing up, I rarely visited temples or any religious places. The concept of God was not something I believed in, but as a child I was fascinated by it. When you are young and you see a religious function going on in your neighbor's house but not yours it is only natural to be awed by it. This continued for a long long time. But a few years ago, it all came crashing down. Religion is something that I have no clue about and it doesn't matter to me if a person is a Hindu, a Muslim, a Christian or any thing else. But when people start talking trash in the name of religion and clearly put down a few people, it gets on to me. I'm not an atheist, but I see God as a super power. My only prayers are a humble ' Thank You ' for all that I have. Earlier, I used to be so fascinated by the various pujas, prayers, mantras and shlokas. Mainly because I d...