Let Boys Cry

Image Source

Growing up, I thought that the only mode men came in was "angry". My father and uncles were perpetually unhappy and always ready to blow their fuses. We had to walk on eggshells around them with a constant fear of taking a misstep. My poor dog bore the brunt of my father's frustrations back then. As much as it was a toxic environment to grow up in, I now think that all they needed was a space to express their emotions. Clearly, they weren't able to come to terms with the pressures of taking care of the family. I strongly believe that the most burdened being on the planet is a middle-class Indian male who is expected to singlehandedly support his family, while keeping his ego and pride in check. My mother was the primary breadwinner of our family; this should have minimized my father's frustrations, but it only seemed to multiply it. Taunts by relativities didn't help either. A man is expected to do what he should, after all.

For generations, men have been taught to suppress their emotions, to “man up,” “be strong,” and never let anyone see them cry. Society has boxed men into a narrow definition of masculinity, one that equates emotion with weakness and stoicism with strength. This emotional silence is not strength, it is suffocation. It's time to dismantle this toxic machoism and normalize emotional expression for men, because the truth is, emotions don’t come with a gender tag. Men, too, feel deeply. And men, too, need to cry. Without being equated to "a girl". When you think of it, it sure is funny how "like a girl" or "like a woman" is considered a weakness. The amount of burden women put up in their lifetime with almost no support, and silently, it sure is a wonder why we don't have them screaming their lungs out more often. 

The world witnessed an emotional moment in tennis history when Roger Federer announced his retirement. On that night, two champions - Federer and Rafael Nadal, sat side by side, holding hands and shedding tears. These weren’t tears of weakness; they were tears of legacy, friendship, and unspoken admiration. Two of the sport’s fiercest competitors showed the world that vulnerability and greatness are not opposites. That image of Nadal crying not just for himself, but for Federer, broke stereotypes in the most graceful way possible. It reminded us that even the strongest warriors have soft hearts. In a similar vein, Indian cricket fans saw Virat Kohli - known for his fiery demeanor and fierce competitiveness, shed tears after winning the IPL recently. Those tears weren’t just about the trophy. They were the release of years of pressure, expectation, criticism, and perhaps self-doubt. Kohli's tears weren’t a crack in his armor; they were a sign that even icons need space to feel, to release, and to just be human. For young boys watching, that moment sent a powerful message: it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to cry. Roger Federer and Viral Kohli are sporting greats, yes. Most importantly, they are just two men expressing their raw emotions. This has nothing to do with privilege or what they have achieved. 

The Indian man, in particular, is raised with an immense emotional burden. Expected to be the provider, the protector, the silent sufferer, he rarely finds safe spaces to just exist without judgment. From financial pressure to family responsibility, from career expectations to emotional isolation, the average Indian man is told to handle it all without blinking. Beneath that calm, composed exterior, many men are silently breaking. What they need is not more pressure to be "strong," but permission to breathe, to be vulnerable, and yes - to cry. Suppressing emotions doesn’t make men stronger; it makes them angrier, more frustrated, and emotionally stunted. This ruins families and generations of children who look up to these men as role models. Unexpressed emotions often build up like pressure in a sealed bottle and eventually, they explode. This toxic silence contributes to rising mental health issues, broken relationships, and even violence. By teaching boys not to cry, we aren't toughening them - we're depriving them of emotional literacy. That deprivation affects every aspect of their adult lives, along with that of those around them.

Allowing men to express emotion is not about turning them into something they’re not; it’s about allowing them to be fully human. Tears are not a betrayal of masculinity; they’re a release, a signal that someone is alive, real, and feeling. Just like laughter, just like joy, sadness and vulnerability are natural human experiences. When men are allowed to cry, they raise children better, love more deeply, and live more freely.

We need to stop raising boys who are afraid to cry and start raising boys who are unafraid to feel. Society must stop rewarding emotional repression and start celebrating authenticity. Let men cry - not because they’re weak, but because they’re human. The world will be better for it.