I've attended quite a few events this month and it was an enjoyable experience. I met a lot of new people and made some good friends. There were a lot of meaningful conversations and I did have a wonderful time. Everything seemed to go fine until I mentioned "my husband" during some random conversation. People gasped and some even choked. There was a round of "You're married?" and then I had to witness quite a few not so pleasant expressions. This is not the first time that this has happened. In the two and half years that I have been happily married, I have heard this question quite a number of times. Although some people would have loved to take this a compliment, I find it a little weird. How does it matter if a person is married or not? While the conversation is revolving around food, writing or fashion, how does one's marital status matter?
When someone says "You don't look married", most women take pride in it. They think that they look young and have "maintained" themselves really well. As for me, I don't know how to take it. How does one look married? Am I expected to look sad and unhappy? Or dress in a particular way that screams out that I'm married. I still dress the way I always used to. I love my skinny jeans and tops and it is only because I am comfortable in it. Marriage is the best thing to have happened to me and dressing this way is definitely not a reason to hide my marital status. I wear my mangal sutra and sindoor as and when I feel like it. And this is not a way to hide the fact that I'm married. It's my personal choice and it completely depends on my mood.
Someone once told me that I'm way too well groomed to be married. I'm updated on fashion, dress modernly, have manicured nails and let my hair loose. Apparently once you are married you will not have the time to take care of yourself. Also a married woman is not upfront and expressive I believe. In that case, I definitely do not look married. Come on seriously, what is the need to find out if someone is married or not? Unless you are way too much into the person and want to ask him/her out then maybe you need to find out about the other strings attached. But then ofcourse, if you really like a person you would have already found out about this atleast. More often than not, only a woman is subject to such questions. Mostly my woman themselves.
The way men analyse this is something else altogether. I've had male friends discuss their own tactics of figuring out if a woman is married or not. One guy said that you can know a woman is married or not by the way she walks. I was like, wow! Apparently married woman have a slightly bigger gap between their legs and that can be seen when they walk. Why? Well, for obvious reasons. I wanted to laugh out loud. I had the perfect comeback too, but then I decided I did not have to waste time debating with such idiots. But when I did mention that pre-marital sex was common these days, he said that the same technique can be used to check the virginity of a woman too. What a genius! I mean who needs science when you have morons like this?
Now coming to the title of this post. A male friend once told me that married woman have a certain smell. I for one have the nose of a blood hound and my antennas were immediately up. And yet I couldn't sense what he exactly was smelling. He then chose to explain in precise detail. Married woman do not have the time to work on themselves I believe. So they normally are dirty and stink. Especially since they have to do all the household work and cleaning and then come to office. Clearly someone has not heard of a bath. Or a deodorant for that matter. I wanted to show him the finger and tell him that this my friend is the actual scent of a woman.
There are so many things in the world to think about. Voices should be raised against a lot of other things. Debates should happen about what is right or wrong. More time should be spent on innovation. But instead people are worried if a woman looks married or not. Some women are worried that they look married. Some women are worried that they do not look married. Some take pride in both. I just say that I do not give a tiny rat's ass if I looked married or not. Or if anyone else is married or not. The person matters to me, not his/her marital status. Conversations matter to me, not validations of one being married or not.
And to those people who measure the virginity or marital status of a woman through her legs, you deserve a red hot rod (no pun intended) right up there. And to people who write articles like these, you just need to be shot.