When Leonardo DiCaprio finally won an Oscar, everyone was filled with joy. I was too, but I was bawling my eyes out as I watched him go up and collect his award. I have loved him as an actor since What's Eating Gilbert Grape and I seriously think that he deserved an Oscar for most of his roles. I haven't watched The Revenant yet, but I was just happy that he had won. I cried non-stop for a good ten minutes. Another extra two minutes for his speech. What a man! And I'm not the one to cry easily. But some people just bring out the emotional fool in me. Yes, while the whole world perceives me to be strong, bold and arrogant I gently nurse the emotional side of me. I do not show it out very often. Only the people who are very close to me have seen this side of me. For me everything revolves around emotions. Love being the strongest of it all. And at times I do let emotions take over me.
I don't know if you would call this being sensitive or being emotional, but this is the way I am. When I see an old lady walking on the street with a heavy bag, I quickly offer her help because I do not want her to go through the pain. Two days ago, the auto driver who dropped me home was wearing thick glasses and we had to ride through a road covered with dust. Half way through he stops his auto, wipes his glasses and continues the journey. He doesn't complain even once. He has to make a living after all. I paid him extra and he hesitantly accepted it. My heart goes out to people like this. The vendor who sells vegetables right outside my apartment is one such person. He sits alone on a stone awaiting customers. While some bargain with him and walk off to the market ahead, I make it a point to buy something from him everyday. Even if it is just a cucumber or a lemon, I do. He feels so happy and in return I smile too.
When people work hard to make a living, there is something inside me that bleeds for them. I respect them immensely and feel the need to help them. Every one is facing a battle I know, but at times I feel the need to acknowledge them. I have seen people stare up at me when I address a delivery executive as "Sir". Or an auto driver. It is important to me to be nice to them. I am not doing them a favor, I just want them to know that I appreciate their help. When a man or a woman does everything in their might to earn a living and take care of their family, they need to be respected. That is exactly why I absolutely hate people who sit at home and live on someone else's money. Dogs bring out another emotional side of me. I lost mine fifteen years ago and till date I cannot think of him without shedding a tear. Every dog I see on the street, I feel a need to pat them. Or buy them something to eat.
I associate people with emotions as well. Which is why when people hurt me, I wipe them out of my life. As strong as my emotions are, once someone betrays me I see no need for them in my life. I would never forgive them. People I trusted resorted to talking bad about me, especially as I was entering a new phase of life. When I heard this, I was shocked. All emotions were wiped out in that instant. Then I heard so many true stories about them and realized that these people deserve exactly what they gave me. If I have an emotional connection with anyone, I would do anything for them. But if that is broken, then I would leave no stone unturned to hit back. I'm not a Saint. Tit for tat is what works for me. Karma is watching and she exactly knows why I'm doing what.
Emotions are really important to me. Without that someone is as equal to being dead. If I don't feel emotionally connected to someone, then they don't exist for me. No matter how close they are. At times I tell my husband that I'm such an emotional fool as I get affected by random things, but he tells me that it is only because I'm a good human being. I feel for others and that is what being a human is all about. Maybe.
In that case what are those people called who put others down, who purposely hurt others, who have no emotions what so ever? Clearly, they don't qualify as human beings.