This is the fifth consecutive day that I've stayed at home without stepping out much. Yeah, no office or anything. No, I haven't gone crazy but I soon will if I don't do something productive. So, here I am. What happened you ask? Okay let me start from the beginning. It was the year 2000 and I was in the 8th standard. I was the class topper and once I was asked to read out something from the blackboard. I stood up in pride and then realized that there was nothing written on the board. I squinted my eyes as the teacher looked at me with a puzzled look. She asked me to step forward and come right in front of the class and read. As I walked ahead, I could see the poem 'Silver' written on the board in faint handwriting. I loved that poem, but that was when it struck me that something was wrong with my eye sight. I read the poem and walked away really sadly.
When you study in a convent, you have a lot of privileges. We had regular health camps that spoke about puberty, acne and other "growing up" stuff. One such health camp was a sight awareness camp where all of us from the school had to get our eye tested. First embarrassing moment of my life, my dear friends. I couldn't read anything on the board apart from the first line. Of course that was only because that line was written in such big letters that it could have been read from Jupiter. Within the next five minutes, the doctor there gave me a note that I was supposed to give my parents. It read "Vision problem, please consult a doctor". It also had some random numbers written on it. For me it just meant one thing. If I gave this note to my parents, I'd have to wear glasses. When you are a rebellious teen, you know how insulting that could be. So I hid the note. If I squinted my eyes at a particular angle I could see the black board albeit not very clearly. But still, something was better than nothing.
I passed 8th standard as the topper and was awarded the 'Excellence In Studies' award. I walked up the stage to collect it and could only see a few hazy bubbles in the audience. I couldn't come back to find my mother in the audience as I couldn't make out faces properly. That was when I realized that I had a serious problem. My mom managed to find me and when we got home, I gave my parents the note from the doctor. They were sad at first that their youngest child had eye problems, but I was taken to an eye doctor immediately. Now comes the second embarrassing moment of my life. Sitting on the stool, wearing glasses that could easily be used to sight UFOs and reading out letters and numbers in front of me. Finally it was established that I have myopia in both eyes and I was asked to select a frame and collect my glasses the next day.
Fast forward to 2004 when I had to join my engineering. That was the major growing up phase and it was also the time to have crushes and boyfriends. I decided that it was also the time I switched to contact lenses and ditch my glasses. My parents obliged and soon I was glass free and loving it. The first day I wore contact lenses to college I felt like the world was my oyster and I could breathe rainbows. Years passed and I was happy with the fake eyes I was using. But while travelling it did become a pain. Wearing them and taking care of them now and again, replacing them every month was becoming a tedious affair. Just before I got married I wanted to correct my vision surgically, but my then boyfriend and soon to be husband was not very happy with the idea. He was scared for me and I continued to wear lenses. Last month when I getting ready for work and wore my lenses, my eyes started burning terribly and I had to sit down for twenty minutes to let it cool. He couldn't see the pain I was going through and decided that it was time for me to get rid of this for ever.
So last weekend, I got a LASIK operation done and my vision is now clear and sorted. The procedure was not painful but scary as hell. I held my cool and it was over in 15 minutes. They asked me not to see light or use the phone/laptop/read and stay away from dust/water for 8-10 days. Then began the real ordeal. Everyone knows that I suck at taking breaks. But this time I had to be on a break and NOT do anything! I couldn't cook, watch TV, read or use the phone. I would have loved to be dead instead. Cal is working from home this week to take care of me and administer the eye drops timely and my agitation is not making it any easy for him. My vision was sorted and I could see everything clearly a couple of hours after the operation itself. I wanted to keep myself busy and I found myself in a helpless situation. Not going to work was enough to make me feel worthless, but not being able to do anything at home was driving me crazy.
But I'm not the one to take things lying down. I picked up my kindle and set it to a larger font and started reading 'The Girl Who Played With Fire'. I was reading a book prior to my surgery but the font posed an issue. I could read it but I was not supposed to stress my eyes, so the better option was the kindle. I was wearing the safety black glasses while reading though. It made me look a lot like Karunanidhi's kin, but it was either that or not doing anything. Gosh, I seriously am horrible at resting or doing nothing. I visited my doctor yesterday for a followup and he told me that I could do anything I wanted to as long as I don't stress my eyes much or not let water or anything else touch them. But I still am not fit enough to stare at the laptop for a whole day. That would take another week or so he told me, but I'm going to start work from next week. Else I'd definitely go insane.
I'm happy I got the surgery done and it will definitely take me sometime to get used to the fact that I can see things clearly without lenses or glasses. I still try to adjust the glasses on my nose or rush to remove my lenses before a shower. But there is nothing there. I couldn't be more relieved. But I will probably be more happier once I start going to work and doing my regular chores. Seriously, a time out is definitely not for me.
I want to feel normal again and this post is the perfect start.