Love In The Time Of Social Media

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Social Media was the perfect tool for us to connect with our old friends and like minded people. It also was a good tool to express your thoughts, have discussions and learn about many things. And then, it turned toxic. Now, Social Media is nothing but a place one goes to feel good or miserable about themselves. It is like a competition where everyone feels the need to prove something to someone else and everyone is competing with one another for an invisible prize or an inflated ego. People are quick to take offense and retaliate often spreading hate and vitriol. While it has given a platform for everyone to have a say, most people use it as a tool to show off to the world or desperately try to fit in to it.

Being loved is a wonderful feeling. Having a loving and supporting partner makes one feel good and precious. It is a very personal feeling and something that needs to be silently treasured, not rubbed into every one's face. When people feel the need to show off that they are in love all over Social Media, the sanctity of the emotion is gone. Don't get me wrong, while I don't mind an occasional PDA moment, I do mind 353 pouted selfies of the same two people in question. While you somehow train your mind to get past this, the captions more often than not takes the cake. For instance, take this. A friend put up a photo of hers with her better half on Facebook on their anniversary celebrations. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well, the caption read "Celebrating my anniversary @ Leela Palace, Delhi". There was no loving message, not a mention of the partner (who was just tagged on the photo) and nothing about it felt like the celebration of love. Note the use of "my" instead of "our" too. It was more like the love for the luxurious hotel in question and the need to let people know that they could afford a meal there.

Checking-in on Social Media while travelling and visiting multiple locations is considered normal now, the need to prove your love for your partner time and again to the people on Social Media is something I don't get. A certain male puts up regular selfies on Facebook with the caption "I luv ma wyf". He surely must love her a lot, but most of his images have his wife (if it is her) on the corner of the frame usually looking away and his lovelorn mustached face in the center. My question is does he even tell her that he loves her? Or he chooses to do it on Facebook alone for everyone else to know? Birthdays of a loved one are now all about "My hubby gifted me an iPhone, Yippie" instead of the way he makes her feel on that day and every other day. If getting an iPhone on the birthday is what is more important, then well, do as you please.

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Facebook has become a La-La Land for most people who make up their own love stories and splatter it all over Social Media. Many people, both men and women, talk endlessly about the love for their luvs, baes, babys, better halfs and every other mush nick-name you can think of. Some people even put up images that clearly are selfies, but claim that their partners took it. There is a clear example above. These people do not tag the so called partners or mention their names. Just image after image, status after status. It could be possible that the other person is not on Social Media so he/she cannot be tagged. I have seen examples for this too. But what if they are on Social Media and yet the bae is left untagged? Does the other person even know that one is talking about them like this? I'm very curious about this. It is very simple, if you want to announce your love to the world, show the world and the person involved that you love them. Else, just don't make any announcement at all.

Having said that, there are also people who over tag their partners and what they do for each other. I know a couple who dress up in the same colors all the freaking time just to show the world that they are so much in sync! I mean, you live in the same house, do you really expect us to believe that you can read each others' minds and choose colors? These days, they even dress up their children in the same color. So, if one of them is wearing black trousers with an orange shirt, the rest of them are as well. How happy and proud they look in their pictures! I guess it makes it easy while on family outings, you can never get lost! Once in Goa, we saw a couple clicking multiple pictures wearing T-shirts that said "I am His" and "I am Hers". What were they trying to prove and to whom I have no idea till date.

Love is a very private emotion and it needs to be celebrated the same way. Go to your exotic locations and fancy restaurants all you want, but celebrate the feeling and not the place! Write an ode to your partner and not The Oberoi. You do not have to post every image together on Social Media. As long as you both know that you love each other, I think that is enough. If you have to prove it to others all over Social Media or elsewhere, then probably you have the wrong idea of the emotion. For those who are single, know that it is perfectly okay to be so. Having a partner or falling in love is and never will be a mandate. You do not have to make up stories just to fit in. You do not have to concoct imaginary conversations and spew it on Social Media without tagging the so called partner. There is absolute no need for anyone to share anything on Social Media, let alone made up partners.

Being in love is a beautiful feeling. If you have it, cherish it, not flaunt it. If you do not, wait for it if you want it. Else, it is perfectly okay to be happy alone as well. Do not get consumed by the glossy life you see on Social Media and try to match up to it. Trust me, no one ever is that happy.

Someone once told me that the sign of a happy relationship is no sign of it on Social Media. I couldn't agree more.

22 comments:

  1. I guess extremes are bad. I have since long stopped reacting to how people behave on social media. Not only couple but some people are obsessed with their own selfies. I guess social media is a beast that no one can tame. Because no matter what one does, someone somewhere will get annoyed. So I guess, go ahead and share what you like. I always have the Snooze and unfollow button that I use generously. :)

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    1. It sure is. I am a firm believer in love and when I see people going out of their way to prove it to random people on Social Media, it gets my goat. Some things should remain private, if it exists that is. Have you seen people make up love stories on Facebook? That is another level all together.

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  2. This is a wonderful post. There are people who are clearly obsessed and actually ask other people why they are not obsessed ;). Someone asked me after I got married that why haven't I changed my name on Facebook and I cannot tell you how much it made me cringe.

    Recently I have become very careful what I share on Facebook and I actually hate when people share my photo on their wall without my permission. Still some people are not just showing off too much love with their partner, they don't know how to respect someone else's boundaries.

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    1. Thank you, Manisha and welcome to my blog :)

      Ah why do people have to poke their noses into the business of others I never know. I am very wary of Facebook these days as well. I hate that too! I immediately go and un-tag myself from posts like these.

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  3. Oh the cringe!! I totally understand what you mean. I have infact unfollowed a lot of popular couple accounts on instagram because after a while you just can't look beyond the cringe factor. There are yoga couples who I just can't even look at now. Maybe it's a phase... Or maybe I am too old to tolerate fake people anymore.

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    1. Hahaha, you get it, don't you?

      Yoga couples? Wow, I wouldn't dare to even go check it out. Hai na? I too think at times that I'm too old for all this nonsense.

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  4. Agree with your points, Soumya.
    Social Media has become an ostentatious channel.
    It shows how much we love things and places more than people!

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    1. It sure does, Anita. Thank you for visiting after a long time :)

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  5. Oh Sowmya, how do I tell that every sentence of yours is screaming what's been in my head since the past 4-5 years?

    According to me, the check-in widget is the most obnoxious one on Facebook besides the Poke tool. I wonder what people get other than the air around the opulence of their check-in spot to brag about. I personally never share my locations or hangouts on social media for significant reasons & privacy, of course.

    I totally agree that validation is the only damn thing people are lusting after these days. I miss those days of Orkut when all that we wanted was only reconnection & not a narcissistic life.

    This has to be one of the best posts I've read this year so far.

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    1. Ah Ashvini, you made me feel so nice with this comment of yours. Thank you for that.

      People don't understand privacy anymore, I think. Trust me if I didn't have a blog, I probably will never be on social media in the first place.

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  6. I definitely agree with what you said! The places seem to be more important than the person these days all thanks to social media!

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  7. I reconnected with my friend, now my husband through orkut. Post marriage, I have been guilty of uploading 100 plus pictures from every trip that we made. And then I felt saturated. So there were occasional snaps from special moments but I started uploading a single collage. A year back, my husband deactivated his FB account because it was becoming a waste of time for him. So we definitely have a life full of love and romance eden today. Just that we prefer to keep it private and personal. This is one of the best posts I have read today and I say this after reading 25 more posts.

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    1. That is such a sweet love story, you have there.

      Occasional snaps and PDA moments are okay, but not the killing overload of it. Love is meant to be private. Very private.

      Thank you so much for saying that, I feel honored.

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  8. Aye, aye, I hear you Soumya. I wonder if you saw my recent update. I've deleted both Facebook and twitter from my phone and I am so much at peace. I'm sick of watching the same pictures, the same kind of check-ins, the same pouts, and the same holiday glam. I had kept these apps on my phone simply because I thought I would need them for my blogging, but oh not really.I can log on to my comp and use them and it's more peaceful that way.
    I get to live a more "real" life and be more mindful, instead of mindlessly scrolling through people's feed. I wish I could delete Instagram as well, but can't as it's functional only as an app.

    Social media is most of the time only glorifying our lives and blurring away the other realities.





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    1. You are one smart lady, aren't you? :)

      We need to live much real lives, it is so important.

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  9. Hahahaha!! This is such a hilarious post, Soumya! All the examples made me laugh and they are so true! I just cannot get over with the fact of what couples do on Social Media. And my timeline has people going gaga with wrong English! Imagine my plight!

    I'm so happy to visit your blog in the morning and have a good laugh!!

    Cheers

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    1. Didn't know this post was that funny, I intended it to be a serious one :P

      Welcome back here, Geet.

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  10. One of the reasons why Facebook became a boring place is due to overuse of it. Way too many updates and there are very few couples who I enjoy to follow. I somehow find these new words like bae, brother from another mother and some more very annoying. When people used bae, for sometime I really thought they misspelt some word. I googled to know it. Anyway, I am glad I don't have Facebook installed on my phone. I don't find Facebook as a convenient place anymore. I prefer Insta to be my den and like it there better.

    You have said it right. Some people appreciate the places over people who are with them. And what a lovely read Sou. You speak your mind easily and I am amazed at how you convey what you want to so beautifully.

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    1. Oh you said it. Over use of anything is bad, let alone SM. If I didn't have my blog, I'd never be on SM. I love Instagram too, that is a place I quite enjoy.

      Thank you for your always kind comments, Jay.

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  11. Social media is often a good place to find your love. You can observe the life, interests and behavior of the person you liked.
    If the coincidence of interests occur, you can express yourself and arrange a meeting in your real life.
    I do not thinkvirtual love is a good idea.

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    1. It is okay for love to start off in the virtual world. It needs to move offline though, very soon. Else, it just does not make any sense.

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