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Sixty Thoughts That Crossed My Mind While Watching Atrangi Re #NotAMovieReview

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Since the pandemic, if there is a Bollywood movie that was shoved into our faces promoted immensely, it has to be Atrangi re. From Sara Ali Khan dancing in every possible location, be it trees or on water, to people copying her Chakachak moves, this movie was everywhere on Social Media. Personally, I think that Sara Ali Khan is a decent actress, but picks the wrong movies. If you think she was annoying in Love Aaj Kal, she takes it up a notch with Atrangi Re. The movie does live up to its name in terms of ample color strewn around, but what makes the movie unintentionally funny is the colors of people.

Before I talk about what I thought of this one, let me give you the gist of the movie. Vishu (Dhanush) is from Madurai and is studying to be a doctor in Delhi. Rinku (Sara Ali Khan) is an orphan from Bihar, hated and abused by her family members and happens to be a serial eloper. She's runaway ample times to be with her long-term boyfriend, Sajjad Ali Khan (Akshay Kumar in what will be the darkest spot on his career), only to be captured by her family and brought back home again. Tired of her escapades, her family decides to get her married to someone who is not from Bihar (so as to be oblivious to her antics). 

What is more farer from Bihar than Madurai? Soon, Vishu and Rinku are married and they set out to Delhi to live together in the boys hostel. Hey, if Kabir Singh can do it, so can Vishu! Sajjad the magician appears on an elephant (no kidding) to claim his girlfriend. By now Vishu is in love with Rinku and Rinku is in love with Vishu and Sajjad. Talk about a true Bollywood tale. What happens next is something that shouldn't have happened. Rather, this movie should not have been made.

I had the utmost respect for Aanand L Rai, thanks to his Tanu weds Manu series. He ruined it with Zero and then took it up another notch with Atrangi Re. Rest assured, I'll be thinking a thousand times before I decide to watch something by this filmmaker again. Why? Read on.

Here are 60 thoughts that crossed my mind while watching this colorful crap.

1. So Vishu is a South Indian in Delhi and a medical student. Nice. At least they aren't showing South Indians as drivers or electricians.

2. Vishu is up an electric pole. I take my words back.

3. Sara's introduction scene is her trial at eloping. Interesting.

4. She's called Rinku Sooryavanshi. A Rohit Shetty hangover?

5. She's soon breaking soda bottles at the people who have come to take her back. Then she drinks one herself and walks Rajinikanth style to the car waiting to capture her. Why run in the first place then?

6. Of course, Vishu is witnessing this entire scene.

7. Rinku's grandmother thinks that the best way to stop her from eloping is to get her married to someone else. Sigh, Indian families.

8. They drug her kheer and use laughing gas to marry her off to a laughing/crying/howling groom, aka Vishu who has been kidnapped for this very purpose.

9. Will they sing 'Kashmir main, tu Kanyakumari' now? Oh wait, I seem to have a Rohit Shetty hangover.

10. Oh ho ho, well well well, Vishu is soon to be engaged to the Dean's daughter, Mandy, in Madurai.

11. In the train back to Delhi, Rinku tells Vishu about Sajjad and shows him his picture. They decide to forget this marriage happened and move on with their lives.

12. Still, Vishu gets Rinku to his hostel in Delhi. Boys hostel. It's Delhi, I guess anything is possible here.

13. Rinku who comes carrying a large bag, apparently has nothing to wear and ends up wearing Vishu's lungi and shirt. Vishu meanwhile is parading in tracks and a T-shirt.

14. Vishu needs to travel to Madurai for his engagement and has the best idea in the world! To take Rinku with him!

15. This Vishu's friend is annoying AF. He's studying to be a psychiatrist and he believes that since he's one, he knows and understands women.

16. I didn't catch the friend's name, so we'll just call him AAF. For annoying AF.

17. Vishu, Rinku and AAF travel to Madurai for Vishu's engagement.

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18. Rinku decides to wear a green saree and dance in front of the entire crowd. Chakachak only.

19. As she's dancing, Vishu's bride-to-be finds the video of Vishu's and Rinku's wedding on YouTube. Seriously, social media zindabad.

20. Drama ensues and the bride's family decides to insult Rinku instead, including throwing water on her face. Meanwhile, Rinku is crawling all over the floor looking for something. Something about this Rinku doesn't seem right.

21. Vishu stands up for his "wife" who is busy eating an idly sans chutney or sambhar and walks away with her. Please don't tell me he's fallen in love with her now.

22. What do you know, he has! Once back in Delhi, he confesses his love for her. In Tamil. Until now the pal could speak perfect Hindi.

23. At this very moment, Rinku hears band baja baraat and runs through the roads of Delhi. This girl runs a lot, yaar.

24. Sajjad has arrived for her. On an elephant. On the crowded streets of Delhi. What on earth am I watching?

25. While Sajjad and Rinku are having lunch in the hostel's mess, AAF decides to drop in. What hostel is this that anyone can enter or exit?

**Spoiler Alert**

26. Rinku introduces AAF to Sajjad, who happens to be an empty chair. Aaarrggghh, I hate that I saw this coming.

27. So, well, Sajjad doesn't exist and happens to be a figment of Rinku's imagination who she conjured up to escape her traumatic childhood. Okay, but someone should have told her something, no?

28. No! While she sits in the hostel mess, eating her chowmein and talking away to glory to an invisible Sajjad, none of the people on the neighboring tables find anything amiss. AAF is thrilled!

29. When Vishu hears this from AAF, instead of worrying about the mental health of his "wife", he dances away to glory. No competition after all.

30. I hope they tell Rinku about it and get that poor thing admitted to a facility that will help heal her.

31. Instead, Vishu decides to play along and AAF decides to treat her by himself on the side. He's still a student mind you, but then again, read point 15.

32. AAF tells Rinku that Covid's brother David is on the prowl and she needs to take medication often. I'm not making this shit up.

33. Every time Rinku takes her medicine, Sajjad gets injured. Instantly! AAF must be a genius, alright.

34. As Sajjad keeps getting hurt, Vishu continues to celebrate saying "Koi nahi hai, koi nahi hai". Seriously, grow a pair man! Also, why did Akshay do this movie? What was he high on?

35. Rinku on the other hand is having her cake and eating it too. She loves Sajjad but still wants to be Vishu's wife.

At this point, I lost it! I couldn't watch this crap anymore! A couple of weeks passed. Hotstar being Hotstar kept shoving reminders into my face every time I logged in. Just to get this one out of my resume watching list, the I decided to sit down and complete this hellish experience.

36. So, Vishu is still dancing in merriment, while Rinku and her Sajjad continue to live with him. Rinku's continues to eat AAF's medicine and Sajjad continues to get injured. Who is the writer of this film?

37. Sajjad gets hurt really badly and Vishu saves his life. Yes, he carries an invisible person into an operation theater and his friends in scrubs operate on the said invisible person. I swear I'm not high.

38. This is the best chance to tell Rinku that Sajjad is dead and move on with this story. Right? AAF agrees with my thoughts too.

39. Vishu comes out and says, "Sajjad theek hai" instead. Mr. No-balls anyone?

40. Rinku is thrilled and well, so is Sajjad. So thrilled that as a gift to Vishu for saving his life, Sajjad decides to make Taj Mahal vanish. Yes, that's the gift to Vishu. How is it connected to anything so far, God only knows.

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41. So, Vishu, Rinku, Sajjad and AAF travel to Agra for the great Indian vanishing trick. Vishu and AAF are studying to be doctors, don't they realize that Rinku has serious mental health issues? What sort of love is this?

42. Since there is no Sajjad, obviously the Taj Mahal can't vanish. Not that it would otherwise. Anyway, moving on.

43. Vishu and AAF pay 500 bucks to everyone, yes everyone, who have come to visit the Taj to clap when Rinku claps. Thus completing the illusion. Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale and all those involved in the making of The Prestige must be watching this with awe.

44. Since AAF gives Rinku her medicine at the very second when Sajjad does his trick, he loses his magic touch! The Taj doesn't vanish but people are clapping and applauding the act. Rinku is confused. As am I.

45. Sajjad is so heartbroken that he decides to jump off the hostel and Rinku begs Vishu to save him. This turns into a battle of who can do what for Rinku. Why do Bollywood movies do this?

46. Vishu decides that the thing he can do for Rinku that Sajjad can't do is, breaking beer bottles on his own head. One would think that the fact that Vishu really exists might give him an upper hand, but no.

47. Our soon to be Doctor breaks ample bottles on his head and Rinku decides that she feels something for Vishu too. Why are women in movies drawn to violent, senseless men?

48. All the bottle breaking clears Vishu's head and he asks Rinku for a divorce. Instead of telling her the truth about Sajjad and asking her to get treatment, he asks her for a divorce instead. How did this fellow clear the entrance exam for a medical seat?

49. Rinku runs away from court instead of signing the divorce papers. Her idea is to have both the men in her life. "Ek baar ek ladki ko dono ladke mil jayenge toh kya aafat aajeyega?", she actually says this. Apparently, Sara Ali Khan felt super empowered while uttering this rubbish. I was egging Vishu to throw her out of the auto right then.

50. Rinku comes back to the hostel to find Sajjad missing. How did she know the difference one would never know.

51. Vishu tells her that Sajjad is waiting for her at the railway station and that she is free to leave with him. However, he's going to wait outside the station just in case she changes her mind. Full points for self-respect to Vishu!

52. At the station, Rinku sees Sajjad with a young girl. At that very instant she realizes that the young girl is her and Sajjad is actually her father. Wait, father? But isn't Rinku considering him to be her lover?

53. Then there is a flashback with Sara Ali Khan playing Rinku's mother. Because, one over-acting Sara is never enough. The mother and Sajjad, the magician, were lovers and get married despite opposition from her family. They have a child, i.e Rinku. Once, during a walking through fire trick, the mother's family make it go wrong and Sajjad is caught on fire. The mother and Rinku are sitting in the audience. The mother runs to save her husband and both of them are burnt to death during the act. Rinku considers this a part of the illusion. One might think that this would evoke emotion from the audience, but the audience has reached a phase of "Whatever" by then.

54. To block this incident, Rinku conjures Sajjad in her head to be her lover and he's the one she's been trying to elope with since childhood. Seeing her running away alone, her family members have always brought her back. No one thought of getting her checked though.

55. In present day, at the railway station, Rinku finally sees that Sajjad doesn't exist and is all made up by her mind. Her father as her lover. Oh so twisted and messed up, don't ask.

56. Meanwhile, our Doctor has changed into a white silk shirt and mundu (dressed as a South Indian groom) and waiting for her with sweets. Yes, oh yes.

57. Rinku cries her heart out and comes rushing to Vishu who is distributing sweets to passengers at the station saying "Meri biwi wapas aagayi". I would never accept sweets from a deranged looking man at any cost.

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58. Stupidity Love wins and the movie ends. To hell with logic and sensitivity.

59. 'Atrangi Re is about mental health as much as Dangal was about good parenting' - Someone on Twitter said this. I hear you, brother. I hear you.

60. WTF did I just watch.

Comments

  1. Entertaining post, as usual. Point number 58 and the last line of point number 53 are my favourites. I have watched a few random scenes of this movie and it was so annoying. I don't like Sara Ali Khan (as an actor). Dhanush is a good actor though. I understand the comparison with Dangal, however I liked Dangal. :)

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    1. She's a decent actress, but needs to pick the right scripts. Dangal was good if you look at it without a filter :)

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  2. I watched this movie (tamil dubbed) that could have been the reason that Dhanush's talking did not look odd to me. True to its name according to Wiki, Funnily Weird. I really thought that was the meaning and it made sense at every scene not to expect anything other than that. Usually in a Bollywood movie, South Indians are predicted odd in many ways. This is no exception. I wonder how on earth did Dhanush agree to do this movie? I agree with the name you've given his so-called friend, AAF :)

    You brought back the movie scene by scene. I couldn't stop laughing at how we managed to watch this, me convincing my husband to watch it in one shot (he took a break though). At one point of time, I actually paused and waited for him to return to watch the movie. He was completely annoyed and said that Akshay must be the father, why on earth do you want me to watch this now. I had to tell him only because he had chosen it! :)

    I love your take! :)

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  3. Oooh! This is what I was waiting for. What a fun post. I haven't watched the film but I have to admit, very weirdly, the storyline seems intriguing. I mean I can imagine it being made into a decent film. I do like Sara but the sight of Akshay Kumar with his teeth bared in a smile was so off putting I lost all inclination to watch it. Also, the treatment of mental illness in Hindi films is so shabby there really was no hope for right from the start

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    1. Do watch it and we'll talk about it, Tulika :)

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