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A Slump Called February

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February and I don't get along, that is established now. Over the past few years I've been noticing that the shortest month of the year always seems the longest to me and it more often than not is unappetizing. Nothing grave, but February puts me in an overall life slump. The most bleh month of the year if I might say.

Work for me has always been linked to my self-worth as a person. The work in February was light, and that didn't go down well on me. I'm not someone who likes to have a lot of free time, it puts me into a state of ennui. This was the primary reason for me to not be in the pink of my mental health. Not being busy made me feel worthless.

After years of being totally independent when it comes to housework, we hired a maid last year. Since we have a puppy now, the house needs to be cleaned regularly and as often as we can. I had gotten used to the rhythm of her being around to help everyday. This was my first time dealing with a maid. My partner and I both come from lower middle class households and maids were a luxury back then. Almost unheard of for us. I was just glad to have found a nice lady who loved our pup as well and did not create a fuss. Or so I thought.

Just a week after she started, she asked me for a huge sum of money. No, not her salary. Just something she wanted to borrow and asked me to reduce it from her salary every month. Considering the fact that my partner and I are self-made and know the value of money, we're very cognizant about it. I refused to give her the money, but helped out with rations, clothes, beddings etc. I told her clearly that we're not the ones to encourage borrowing. She was fine with it, but continued to ask for money time and again. I continued to ignore it and helped her out with every other thing possible. She was very clean with her work and was quite prompt and regular, so this was something I could overlook. 

After a year of working with me, she again asked for a huge sum stating the last year as an example of loyalty. I outrightly denied and offered to increase her salary instead. She asked for an outrageous raise. I asked her to be practical and we finally agreed on a decent raise and I paid her for the month. The next day, she stopped coming. She wouldn't answer my calls nor turn up. Apparently, most maids are like this, from what I hear from my friends and neighbors. This was my first time and trust me, I'm not sure if there will be a second time.

This hit me hard. Not only because there were additional chores in my kitty now, but also because I felt cheated. I treated this woman with respect and dignity and went out of my way to make her life better. But, all she wanted was money. According to her, people like us should help people like them, because we can. Not with our deeds, but with money. She felt entitled to keep asking for it. In a way, I'm glad she's gone. But, this upset my entire routine.

Thanks to this, the life slump continued. Reading, which is my go to comfort when things don't seem right, was impacted too. I was feeling stymied by everything around me. Wanting to get out of my reading slump at least, I decided to read thrillers. They would keep my mind occupied and busy, I thought. Oh man, was I wrong or what! Why do all thrillers or mystery novels have to have a podcaster these days? Why do they all have to have an LGBTQ angle? Or be filled with all the trigger warnings in the world? What happened to genuine story telling? While I read more than ten books in February, most of them were close to trash.

This tedium spread to my writing as well. I wanted to write about so many things, but I couldn't bring myself to sit down and write. I was bored, I was distracted, I was angry, I was frustrated, I was tired, I was saturated. Before I knew it, I was having a meltdown.

Thankfully, I have a partner who knows and understands why I behave the way I behave. Together we sat down and addressed my feeling of being overwhelmed by everything around. I slowed down, prioritized better, managed time better and I automatically started feeling better. The thing is, I usually know what is wrong and what I need to do to address it. Sometimes, you just don't want to see it and do it. Am I the only one like this?

For now, I'm just glad February of exhausted languor is done with. March is looking good and that's all I'm going to focus on. 

Comments

  1. So sorry about this Soumya. I hope things are back to normal soon. I had a terrible Feb as well--hope March will be better.

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    1. I'm sorry to hear about that, D. I hope your March is better too.

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  2. Reminds me of my experience with my maid. Phew!! Just that I made the mistake of lending a huge amount of money to her falling for her stories which made me feel bad for her. But she would never let me reduce it from her salary ever. Month after month it was a different excuse. Finally I knew I'm getting back nothing and increased her chores and said will cut it out that way. But she started using sarcasm on me that nobody has every asked her back money. People just donate. I learnt my lesson and decided never again will I ever lend money to a maid .

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    1. That's horrible. Now I know that my maid would have done the same had I lent her the money. Thankfully, sense prevailed.

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    2. You can be sure of that . We genuinely want to help but they are actually quite thankless .

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    3. That's so sad. How can they feel entitled to something like this.

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  3. Having lived in Bahrain, I have always liked my maids. There was one who asked me for money and said what interest will I charge!! She was zapped when I said I will not charge any interest!! I wish maids back home were the same otherwise I will die when I move back 😂
    I will say don't lose hope. There are some nice people out there who will work for you soon.

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    1. I really wish I find some nice ones soon. Do your maids there return the money you lend them?

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  4. I am so sorry to hear about your experience. It is terrible. I also stay far away from any maid who asks for loan. It is a very tricky situation and they mostly just run away with the money. That said, I have had some really good maids as well. Try and hire someone else. If you have a ladies group in your apartment, that's generally very helpful in feedback about maids.

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    1. These are very same ladies who told me that all maids are like this. Some maids even steal from the houses and the people just ignore it as it is so hard to find decent maids who work well. I hope I find a nice one soon, else, I'll just learn to live without the help.

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    2. That's ridiculous. I can't believe someone actually puts up with stealing maids. I would never. I hope you find a good one who is also honest.

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    3. I felt the same. I'll give it a break before I start looking for one again. I'm emotionally exhausted thanks to this.

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  5. I am so sorry this happened to you, Soumya. It's best to not entertain such demands from maids, you never know what lurks in their minds. Hubby has always warned me about being too friendly or supportive of maids and maintain distance. It can be so difficult to trust people these days!
    I hope March is a better month for you. Hugs!

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    1. Exactly. I was just treating her as another human being. But looks like she had other intentions. It is really sad.

      Really hoping March will be a better month. Thank you, Shilpa.

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  6. Ugh! That's such a raw nerve. "I treated this woman with respect and dignity and went out of my way to make her life better. But, all she wanted was money." --- this is my biggest beef with most maids. I let go a lot, empathising with them, with their problems (and often, they do have a lot going on in their lives) so I get emotionally invested but when I really need them, they don't show up and that really hurts me, more than making me angry. Unfortunately, I cannot do without them. I try really hard to keep that distance, but it rarely works.

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    1. Right? There ALWAYS is something going on in their lives. Almost every alternate day a new problem used to crop up in her life too. I was emotionally vested, probably that was their first step to get me involved and then mooch off it.

      For now, we've decided to manage things by ourselves. With time if it gets hard, I'll actively search and will hopefully find a decent one.

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