Infidelity - A Definite Deal-breaker

For me, infidelity is a deal-breaker, no doubt about it. It is the ultimate form of disrespect. I've had my share of relationships in the past and I'm glad that I did not have to go through this. I did not cheat, nor was I cheated on. Something I'd like to thank my exes for. Had I been cheated on, it would have broken me completely. It would have shattered my self-respect, my confidence and my very belief in love. It would have made me cynical and I'm not sure if I would have been able to get over it and move on. Although I haven't gone through it, I've witnessed it closely around me more than a couple of times. It is destructive, to say the least.

Infidelity isn’t only about bodies; it’s about trust, integrity, emotional survival. People often try to categorize it as just physical, just emotional, just mental; they speak of open relationships, grey areas, complicated circumstances. The language shifts. The context morphs. But the bottom line remains immovable: when you cheat you not just break a promise, but you break a person. You erode relationships and destroy people.

Let's talk about the moment in the spotlight. Recently on the talk-show Two Much hosted by Twinkle Khanna and Kajol (I swear, I'm losing my respect for these women thanks to this show), viewers witnessed a discussion on just this. The topic: “Is emotional infidelity worse than physical infidelity?” On one side, Twinkle and Kajol along with Karan Johar treated physical cheating as not always a deal-breaker. Twinkle even said “raat gayi baat gayi” when referring to physical infidelity. In contrast, guest Janhvi Kapoor declared firmly: if there’s physical betrayal, the deal is already broken. One of the others even said, "It's fine, people often feel cold." Janhvi retorted, "If people feel cold, use a blanket. Not another person." Of course social media was quick to point out that the two hosts were justifying their husbands' and perhaps their own behaviors.

As per psychologists, forgiving physical cheating may signal emotional suppression, boundary-erosion, low self-worth. That moment in popular media matters, because when public figures treat cheating lightly, the ripple effect stretches further than one household. A well known actor in South India is literally in prison because he killed a man who taunted his girl friend. The person who is fighting for his release, along with his millions of fans is his lawfully wedded wife. As per her, she's his wife and nothing else matters. We've seen many other wives of actors and sportsmen come out and say the same thing. Their fans continue to support them, no matter what. It is as scary as it is sad.

Cinema mirrors life and sometimes glorifies what hurts. Take the film Gehraiyaan, starring Deepika Padukone. This is a woman who washed her dirty linen in public when she was cheated on by her partner. Then she goes on to star in this movie and justifies infidelity in interviews while promoting it. The movie's narrative revolves around complicated relationships, infidelity, emotional unraveling and eventually murder. I honestly thought that the movie oscillates between glorifying infidelity and romanticizing its glamour under the guise of “depth” and “modern relationships”.

You do not have to go through infidelity to understand it. Just like how you don't have to step into fire to know that it would burn you. Here’s what infidelity does to a person, in the raw:

Self confidence shatters: When you discover your partner has been unfaithful, you begin to question everything. Am I not enough? Was I not loved enough? Was I blind? Suddenly your identity as “partner” becomes wounded.

Trust in the foundation is gone: Relationships rest on trust and respect. Once cheating enters, one partner is left revisiting every moment, every silence, every un-said. The other (if they stay) faces the loss of moral ground and self-respect. Doubting every move since then.

Emotional fallout spreads: Betrayal ripples outward. It impacts children, families, social circles. Hope becomes caution. Joy becomes guarded.

Sometimes, it ends in violence: Yes. It is a fact that in many cases infidelity has been the immediate trigger for murders, assault or suicides in our country. We've seen enough incidents recently. The betrayal becomes unbearable, either for the injured partner, or even for the cheating partner who is caught in shame, guilt, fear. The pain of loss isn’t always contained.

It normalizes disrespect: When society starts treating infidelity as a mistake or phase, the responsibility vanishes. The ‘other’ person becomes a scapegoat or pawn, the cheating partner often remains “free” while damage persists.

Often we blame the cheater or the “third party” alone. But there’s a deeper truth: cheating thrives in landscapes of emotional neglect, poor communication, unhealed trauma, unacknowledged desire, and boundary-erosion. Not as excuse - but as framework. When someone says “I just felt emotionally disconnected”, yes, they’re describing a reality. But the choice to betray remains. Because there were ways to speak, to ask, to leave, to seek healing. The difference is: they didn’t.

There is no clean betrayal. You may label it “just emotional”, you may call it “just a lapse” but the partner being cheated on will still feel discounted, invisible, replaceable. Forgiveness is possible, but restoration is not guaranteed. Even after forgiveness, the dynamic will have changed. And sometimes the ‘restored’ version is a shadow of what it once was. Self-respect matters. Choosing to stay, choosing to leave, both are valid, but staying because you’re “hoping it won’t happen again” is a gamble with your heart. Society’s message counts. When public figures shrug off cheating, when films treat it as trendy or edgy - these cues matter. They shift norms. Victims are not weak. They’re human. Feeling betrayed, hurt, angry, numb, these are valid reactions. They don’t mean you’re fragile. They mean you were exposed to the harsh truth of someone else’s choice.

Infidelity isn’t a minor crack in the facade; it’s a hole in the foundation. It doesn’t only break vows, it breaks worlds. The person who cheated often ends in guilt or empty freedom; the person who was cheated on often ends in rebuilding; painfully, slowly, permanently changed. Damaged even.

They say, love heals all. Let’s be honest, love without trust is not love, it’s wishful thinking. Relationships require honesty, accountability, courage to admit when things are broken and the humility to accept when things cannot be fixed.

Because at the end of the day, cheating is bad. When it crosses into emotion and tears and lives, it becomes worse.