A Happy View


I know I know I have been missing from this space for a while. Blame it on my super busy life or my laptop at home that refuses to boot up. I'm not even able to take out some time to go get it checked. No, I've not been busy doing important things like work, read or write. Life has been moving so fast, that the day is over before I know it.

One look at my nails with chipped red nail polish will tell you how busy I have been. I'm the one to redo all my nails even if there is a scratch on one. And look what life has brought me to now. I actually removed the paint on my way to work today. The auto guy was giving me all strange kind of looks. It only got worse when I lit a smoke after I was done. More glares. Stare all you want moron, like I care anyway.

Just taking a fifteen minute break at work to write this. Hardly a month at my new project and I'm bored already. The only thing that is keeping me going is that I'll be travelling soon. The place is not yet decided. But the way my adventurous life is going on I wouldn't mind even if I go to Sudan or Afghanistan. I need a serious break from everything and everyone in my life. I'm in the best phase of my life now, but I need a break to realise the importance of the stuff. Testing you can say. I've taken everything around me for granted. Family, resources, money and the men in my life. Even the most important one of all. Being a sweetheart he doesn't complain, but I feel kinda weird at times when he's around for everything. Even if it means cancelling his plans. Life sometimes makes you feel like a bitch.

Super news. I was caught twice at home for drinking last week. Best part, the two days that I was caught were the only days that I wasn't drunk! Seriously, parents! Some tear jerking drama happened and it was forgotten the next day. I just don't seem to care anymore. The only thing that I have in mind before doing something is "Will I regret this later?". If the answer is a no, I'll just go ahead with it. Come what may or however wrong it may be.

Crossing the line of friendship and entering into no feeling's zone was my choice. It is giving me so much happiness and is responsible for keeping me sane today. People thought I was in love. So did he. But I knew that wasn't it. I thought about it a lot over the past few days. And now I exactly know what he is to me. A distraction. And a perfectly good one. I even told him that. He was enraged at first and then he somehow accepted it. Like he had a choice! See, now you know why I was taking about the taking for granted bit. Still, no regrets. Weird, I know. Selfish, I know that too. It started all of a sudden, but it will end when it has to. Until then, we're good.

Super duper news. My blog crossed 55,000 views :O. I remember how happy I was when it crossed 10,000 views a few months ago and the feeling still remains. Thank you all for making this happen. You guys are the best.

Today, when I look at a bird's eye view of my life, I feel good. I see flowers, colors, smiles and even a rainbow. Its taken long, but I got here. No one else gets credit for that but me. I went through shit to get here. I spent sleepless nights crying out on my pillow to get here. I took extreme measures to get rotten memories out of my head. I painfully oozed out every drop of love from my heart. I have worked my ass off to get here today. And I'm proud of it.

P.S: I removed the sparkling heart widget. Ever since I've lost my ring I find hearts extremely annoying :)

17 comments:

  1. congratulations on 55000 visitiors...i would be very glad if i ever get 1000 :)
    and get well soon to your laptop :) and enjoy your travel..stay safe :)

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  2. u wrote this whole post in jst 15mins... i dnt believe it :P

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  3. aaa! i loved those hearts but if that's what makes you happy :) then that is what makes you happy. it's always a pleasure to read your blog. women in here do their makeup while they are in tube and driving their cars, at the traffic lights :) so, i don't think doing the nails was a big deal and chipped nail paint...girl you better make time for youself <3

    i find the women who smoke HAWT...i don't though :( and well, drink...getting drunk is something we got to do :D

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  4. oh fellow blogger friend. I want to travel too. to get away from this routine. sad but true.

    Nice post.

    Congrats on the very many views :) You deserve them all :)

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  5. You make me jealous of this 'so-sorted-out' life of yours:)

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  6. Gosh Soumya you truly need a break! go on that travelling thing real fast..take care of yourself..work is important but dont you dare kill your life for your work like this! I hope you get this most needed break of your life..and have fun sweetheart:-)

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  7. Sudan or Afghanistan? LOL

    Congratulations on 55K+views :)


    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  8. :-)

    I guess you should spare Sudan and Afghanistan. Even though with whatever they are going through, they surely wouldn't be ready for you. :P

    P.S. : I was looking for your e-mail, but couldn't find it here.

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  9. It happens Soumya. Most of the time, we call these distractions as half love. It's not like such. The distractions probably remain distractions unless you have faith that it's going to last eternally. Eternal concept is what i'd call love. Which seldom happens in life, just like that.

    Smoking and Drinking would lead you no where, though i smoke too, or i happen to smoke in my dreams but i tell you what? Its just like punishing yourself for something you consider you did but in actual was not your fault.

    Don't i talk too much when i comment here? I don't know. Your blog is one of the very good ones to which i can compare myself as well.

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  10. I love the spirit of the post. I love your determination to be you and your climb back to rediscovering the joy of being yourself!

    Congratulations!

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  11. Pls Don't go to Sudan hahaha try Libya ? joke! Pretty you're maybe inspired now ? like he is making you one , am happy for you ! Congrats anyway you greatly deserved it!

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  12. Great blog - awesome design! Followed!

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  13. ""life of leo "" tha nam of the blog is what brought me here :) nice reads!!
    n congrts!!

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  14. I am waiting for a chance to travel... by the end of september I guess ill know.. whether am stuck here or not..
    Congrats on 55k views! :)

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  15. @Muhammed Israr,
    Thank you so much :)

    @quartertoinsane,
    You have no idea about the speed of my typing :)

    @Chintan,
    I know you loved it, but it kinda troubled me. Nails all sorted out now so feeling good :). I'm hot with or without smoking :). And getting drunk, ah well that's a regular.

    @Srinidhi,
    Thank you lady :)

    @Priyanka,
    When sorting out is the only option left you have no choice :)

    @Mishi,
    Thanks dear :)

    @BA,
    Trust me any place to get away from monotony :)
    Thanks BA.

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  16. @Shobhit,
    Ah ha. They need to be lucky to have me :)
    My email is soumprasad@gmail.com.

    @KN.,
    Right now I'm just happy with the distractions and would like to keep it that way. I'm not punishing myself with anything. I was into all this even before I was messed up and these remain a need. Not addicted thankfully. Yet.
    You can talk all you want here. I'm all ears :)

    @Beauty and the Beast,
    Thank you and welcome to my blog :)

    @Angel,
    He? No he. Its all me now. Thanks dear :)

    @D22 Zone,
    Thank you! :)

    @megharana,
    Thank you and welcome to my space :)

    @TheGirlAtFirstAvenue,
    I hope you get to travel soon. Thank you :)

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  17. Soumya,

    Congratulations on 55 K. Why don't you visit Delhi on trip and have feel of our capital? One must do what conscience allows and if we keep looking for approval of anyone, it never lets us be free.

    Take care

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