Earn it, Flaunt it

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Warning: Long post ahead.

He: Damn, I need this bike. Its so awesome.
Me: Okay, buy it.
He: Very expensive. No money for it now.
Me: Okay, buy it when you can afford it.

Did I say anything wrong out here? He then went on blabbering about how he can get a loan easily based on his property back home. "I have property worth more than 2 crores", he said. I'm like "Isn't that what your grandparents and parents made". And then he goes, "So what, it still is mine".

So what? Hello! What the fuck ever happened to self respect.

I've seen a lot of people these days who wear brands they have not heard of and obviously bought by their parents. They talk about how big and elusive their home is, the ones that their parents built. They talk about the elaborate vacations they take, funded by their parents. They talk about the classiest of pubs/lounges they visit, all swiped by the credit card paid by their parents. Its funny. Really really funny. Its fairly simple isn't it? If you want to flaunt something of yours or about something you do, make sure you pay for it and get it for yourself. Else if you are happy living off your parents, then well don't flaunt it.

Today, every piece of material I own is what I handpicked and what I paid for. Right from the rent of the place I stay to the classy interiors I've got done. A guy who recently moved into his own house in Bangalore, bought by his parents told me, "You have no idea how awesome it feels living in an own house in Bangalore". He may have not meant anything, but for me it felt like a taunt that hurt my ego. My parents are not well educated enough to make millions. They have done the best they could. I don't want to end up like them. I want to make enough money to be able to take care of myself down the lane.

My parents had to take care of me only till I was 18. Since then it has only been I, me and myself. I funded my own engineering and my daily spending was taken care of by the many promotional or temporary jobs that I took up. Its not like that my parents couldn't take care of me, I just dint want them to. They had done enough.

I have a massive collection of shoes and bags, and I seldom pick up stuff from the local street. I border on the lines of being a brand fanatic, occasionally picking up cute lil stuff off the streets or the local jodhpuri joothis that fit like a dream. Every piece of Ralph Lauren, Burberry, Tommy Hilfiger or Puma I own, to every ounce of my Chanel, Dior, David Off, DKNY or Benetton fragrance is bought by me. I work hard, party harder. I'm not a a very thrifty person but I cannot compromise on my life style. And why should I? Especially when I'm making what I'm spending.

I pay rent at the place I stay with my parents, eat out most of the times, I pay my education loan that I took for completing my engineering, I shop every weekend, I have all the world class amenities at home. I bought my own laptop and my own Blackberry, I even bought a Blackberry for my man, my wardrobe is filled with the best of brands. No, I don't pile up on what I have. Infact I renew my wardrobe every 3 months. Right from the M&S lingerie I wear to the Vichy skin products and the Matrix hair products I use is what I buy from my pocket. Plus, Cal and I take a holiday once in 2 months atleast. And I'm not the one who believes in letting the man pay just because he is one. I believe in equality and he abides. He's the exact replica of me with the exact same lifestyle and who has earned it on his own. No wonder I'm marrying this guy.

Before you think that I make around a lakh a month, let me tell you that you are absolutely not thinking right. I take home no more than 30 grand a month and yet I manage all my needs and that of my parents. My occasional travels pay me enough to have decent savings. Being a mallu my mother has made me invest in gold. I don't wear a speck, but it sure is a good investment. I'm not trying to flaunt here, but hell yeah I'm proud of what I am because the only one responsible for my life today is me. I work my ass off to get all this and no "pata hai mera baap kaun hai" type of person can even come close to this.

Kids these days, sigh! Each time I visit my skin specialist I see minor kids there who have come to either get a mole removed, face lift, fuller lips, fairer skin etc etc. Ofcourse, accompanied by equally vain mothers who obviously have come in for a wrinkle treatment and expecting to get their kin's wishes resolved at the swipe of a card.

Doesn't it hurt to expect money from your old parents? They need all the luxury and amenities at this age and yet you expect them to sign cheques? It does seem like a scene out of a movie, but I have seen this happen in real life umpteen number of times. I saw a bunch of kids no more than 16 come to a place I regularly visit in a Hummer. Flaunting their expensive gadgets and expecting the waiters to worship them. One more thing that psyches the hell outa me are the breed of kitty party housewives. "Oh we're taking a vacation to Maldives", "I'm waiting for the diamond set I've ordered", "Oh no no, no rose wine for me, I only have Sauvignon Blanc", "I'm sending my son to the US to study, you know" and more falana falana. These women are the ones who haven't lifted their finger to earn a penny all their lives and are happy and content living off their husbands.

Something inside hurts and I have absolutely no respect for such people.

If you earn it, flaunt it.

Else, shut the fuck up!

~ Soumya

42 comments:

  1. Hahaha! U go Gal! :) A Good read and temme about it - Vacation in Maldives & Sauvignon Blanc & Blah blah!

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    1. I swear!! They speak and all I hear is blah blah and lie lie in my head :P

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  2. wow..I respect u for this..I might not be exactly like you provided with the 'job dilemma' that im having right now but yeah I bought all my stuff myself with money that i earned from part time jobs..at some point I feel its kinda embarrassing to ask mama and papa for money :( so yeah earn it,flaunt it :)


    U marrying Cal soon?..whoa..when are going to make it official here..wish you guys all the luck in the world ;)

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    1. I'm so proud of you darling!! We all go through the job dilemma, don't worry you will bounce back with more :)

      Soon means 2 years but yes it is happening :)

      Thank you so much dear :)

      Delete
  3. WoW soumya.. I am so proud of you. :D
    It must be an amazing feeling to be independent.
    I know you've worked hard to reach this stage and I RESPECT THAT!

    Amazing really.. I agree with what you say about kids these days.
    It's sad really! You and Cal are getting married? That's great?
    I didn't know your mallu...yayiee go girl :D

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    1. Thanks love <3
      We'll get married in a coupla years, thanks :)
      Oh yeah, mallu kutti here :D

      Delete
  4. lol... direct dil say XD

    i agree wid u on this completely, although I didnt start pulling my own weight until I was 19 :( so yea... earn it, flaunt it!

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  5. Kudos Soumya. Yet again, you make me go "OMG THIS IS MY LIFE" :)

    Every single thing I own, I have paid for myself. I am a shoe / perfume fanatic, and lately being a brand person, and I buy them all on my own. I started working at 18 to fund for my expenses, and even though I wish I did :P, I do not make a lakh a month. Another thing I would like to add here, since I get a LOT of shit about it, I DO NOT make my then-boyfriend-now-husband pay for things I buy. He is at a place that he can afford pretty much everything, but he is also the kind of guy that respects an independent woman, who frankly are very few in the world. He believes that I will reach his paycheck level sooner than I give myself credit for, and often likes to tell me how at 24 Infy was paying him peanuts! :) You should have seen the amount of people at work (he is from the same company) who think I married him for the money. Its like the world will manage to make up ANY explanation for an independent woman who likes her brands - apart from the obvious explanation that she damn pays for it herself! :|

    And OMG when are you getting married?! YAYIE! :)

    Love,
    Annie.

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    1. Annie, I'm so proud of you :D

      My Cal is exactly the same. He respects me for this and keeps telling me that I'll get higher soon. I guess, we're really lucky to have these men in our lives. What say? :)

      2 years :)

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  6. From the age of eighteen onwards?I mean how you managed to earn? :O
    I've got friends who flaunt their parents money and i dislike the same.I believe in what you said..If you don't earn it,you've got no right to flaunt it.Hopefully I'll start earning soon,For my wishlists still awaits my own money! :)

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    1. Managed :)
      Oh, I guess you are still very young. You'll get there soon don't worry. God Bless :)

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    2. I'm going to turn 21 soon..Is it too young? haha :D

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    3. Oops! But I'm sure you aren't flaunting anything yet!
      May you make millions soon ;)

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  7. The sad part is such kids lose sense of reality when it comes to money and (most of them) look down on others who don't have that kind of money as if the others' parents didn't do something right to stay less-endowed or whatever. I think most parents who spend money like water on their kids are guilty as they are substituting spending time the kids with buying them costly things.

    You said it right. Loved reading the post!! :)

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    1. True that! These parents substitute time with money no doubt. Lets see what the kids give them back in return.

      Thank you and welcome here :)

      Delete
  8. Wonderful thoughts, Sowmya. I couldn't agree with you more. But you know, the parents are to blame as well in most cases. I heard this line from the movie Descendants a few weeks ago, and it just stuck with me - "Give your children enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing." Lots of parents spoil their kids with unnecessary indulgences. How hard is it to say NO.

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    1. Thanks sumitra! I totally agree with this line too :)
      Always, parents are to blame. They give their kids the comfort to satiate their ego, failing to understand what will happen later.

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  9. Soumya,

    Visiting after a long gap. Read pending 6 posts. You are so brave to face cold weather with inadequate clothes. Beautiful poems full of love. I pray that Calvin & Hobbes remain Made for Each Other couple all the times to come. I agree with you that time comes when one should be on own feet and rather be of support to parents. I admire you for being self reliant.

    Take care

    PS: I posted comment earlier a few minutes ago but that seems to have vanished in thin air. If that by chance appears, please do delete that. Thanks

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    1. Thank you so much Jack. Always nice to have you back.
      You take care too.

      Delete
  10. You are right! And sometimes I wonder how people die to get same kind of friends. Who use brands and blabber about what their wear. How could you forget about "While I was driving my car".. Isn't it your dad's car or dad-paid car?

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  11. This sudden outburst. You know, if those kids end up reading this, they'll start crying :P
    Though, that will be justified. :D

    I second your views, and my my, respect you for the life you live! :)

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    1. They should cry!! They should.

      Thanks love :)

      Delete
  12. The pride of holding your head high with what you earned cannot be compared with those leeches living on largess doled out to them by indulgent parents!They are not worth a glance, forget about admiring their possessions! Best of luck with the man you deserve to be with:)

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  13. I am lucky to have been born into a financially well of family. Lucky because my dad's sheer determination and hard work paid off when he started his business when he was 22 years old and succeeded to become what he is today.
    But its extremely irritating when people assume that everything that I have bought for myself is paid by my parents. I've lost count of the number of times I've told people that its my dad who is rich, NOT ME. I have a long way to go before I reach his level. They provided more than I could ask for until I was 20 years old. But after that its only been me, my hard work and my determination which I've definitely inherited from my dad. They gave me everything but they knew where to draw the line and they were strict about it.

    Maybe it was all those stories about my dad's struggles to run a family and at the same time succeed in a business that was entirely new to him. It somehow makes me feel that all that he has earned is his hardwork and I donot have any claim over it. I could never imagine blowing off all my dad's money on parties or shopping. Looking at where is today only makes me want to push myself harder to prove to myself that I can reach the same place someday.

    But kids these days I tell you.. they are being spoilt rotten!! I think parents are to be blamed in such cases. Parents need to instill in their children the value of money and that there is no such thing as a free lunch.

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    1. Wow!! I'm so proud of you woman. I really am. You are doing wonderful for yourself already and I'm sure your dad is the one who is flaunting you off. God bless.

      Its always the parents to blame.

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  14. As you know, I am living alone in Bangalore and paying for your every want is indeed fulfilling. :)

    I agree with you. Parents must make the attempt to allow their children to be independent. I am grateful mine did :)

    Well written. :D As always!!

    P.s Kya sexy fotu hai! <3 :D

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    1. I'm glad too and proud of you my lady :)

      Thank you so much.

      P.S: Ya ya live alone in Bangalore but do not meet me. Hmmmmph! Katti :P

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  15. Certainly appreciate the sentiment but I know parents who'd rather pay for their kids all their lives than let them have their own lives. Financial dependence is the easiest way of giving up your individuality. Its a choice, and many ppl these days seem to be ok with it.

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    1. Its all a matter of choice my friend :)

      People seem okay with it, that's the problem.

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  16. I so wanna work, but my parents esp my mum she wont let me work :/ I just want to get done eith me undergrad so that I could work, earn, have fun and do everything that I want to do!!!

    MY friend he is sooooooo cool he doesnt take money from his parents. he's been on his own after he did his O-levels and I AM SOOO PROUD OF HIM!!!!! =D And yes, he too is a brand person :p

    P.S I don't flaunt - much, okay!! I guess i'd say i do flaunt a little :p
    P.S.S I realllyyy loved ur post. Hats Off to u Mam!!! =D

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    1. A little never hurts :)

      Thank you so much dear :D and welcome here!

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  17. I know people who did their MBA's with me....earn as much if not more than what I do...spend the money on hair spa's and the jingabang, and then have their parents wire in more money every month to pay the rent and all the expenses...because u know...mumbai's too expensive...

    Self respect and dignity aren't really words very common these days.

    Shut up n learn to survive on your own!!!!

    And here I worry about not saving enough or not sending enough home to my parents! Jeez!

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    1. I'm proud of you girl!

      And don't worry about anything, you're doing great :)

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